Venting Update re holes in my ears, I continue to be fucked

[BridgeJumper]

So
Got in contact with another person in my city who also has this, forwarded my scans to the English ear surgeon and he decided to review them for me out of pity. He confirmed there is a hole in my inner ear, and a piece of my brain (dura) is probably squeezing into it through the missing bone. Need an even more complex CT scan of both ears and surrounding tissues to confirm.
My eyes stay misaligned, I have hallucinations of getting shorter and then taller, things getting smaller then bigger, my vision is blurry, uneven pupils, I started shaking, I'm still too broke for surgery. Lovely.

Now I have three paths of character development I guess, jump off the bridge immediately, wait and see my body slowly crapping out, sell my apartment and pay to cut me open. Wont make any decision just staring at the wall instead.

Life is good lol

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are going through this, it sounds really awful. Our bodies can be like prisons and are capable of torturing us. Life is so unfair. I wish you well.

 

[filtfarfar]

I'll join you in the staring at the wall session.

 

[Judah]

Life is pain, since you are born, your body wears out and you can develop diseases whose origin you have no idea. Pain is inevitable

 

[BridgeJumper]

Life is pain, since you are born, your body wears out and you can develop diseases whose origin you have no idea. Pain is inevitable

Why a disease only 0,5% of entire population gets, tho, that nobody in my country will treat or even knows exists. Why not diabetes or faulty joints or something

 

[Verodv]

When you say sell apartment you mean you can't afford go to the hospital? Where do you live?

 

[whywere]

When I read your post, it made me feel so sorry for you, with you being so kind and a lovely person.

What country do you reside in as far as is there some type of government help? I am in the US and I have in the past worked out a payment plan with medical and also they would shave a portion off of the entire bill.

I really hope that you can get help so that you are 100% healthy. I will say a prayer for you when I go to bed and I will hold you close to my heart because , I have 24/7 chronic pain, nobody should have to think about medical care and not be able to get the help that one so richly deserves.

Try and enjoy the weekend that is upon us and next week I will pray for you that you can get help and be better.
You are part of the family here and we are hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder in life.

Walter