Venting update on previous

[stroeses]

hi. i am still here, to my dismay. i have gone through more things and i feel like it's not getting any better for me. i am still a bad person, who hurts people. i've been holding off due to important events i wanted to do before i inevitably die, but those events are now over and i'm now here. i'm unemployed, i can't seem to get a job or even be considered for one. i'm home from college at my mom's house doing absolutely nothing. i wake up everyday at 2pm, i do my summer class once a week, and i spend my time watching videos until i inevitably pass out at 2am. i'm a useless additive to society. i have no car, no money, no friends. my mom tries to make me food, or bring me tea, or give me chores to keep me active. my parents know i'm depressed to a certain extent. they try their best to keep me out of my room, but it's the only place i belong. i don't have anyone, no one to talk to. no one to relate to. my friends left for people who don't like me. they tell them i'm horrible and i should die and i'm not worth it. and they're right. i don't exactly know how but, i must've done something bad. my friend said they're right, i haven't changed and i'm the same. so i've chosen my fate, as sad as it is. you ever read those true crime videos, or read social media posts about someone that's died and you're desensitized? i'll be gone, and it'll be another statistic you know? i'll be a statistic. i don't know if that makes me feel better or worse. but i've lived a life, that's for sure. i was never going to graduate and my 20th birthday was just last week. so i think sometime soon i'll start planning. better late than never, and that feels good. i'll update you guys on how all of this goes, hopefully i'll be successful this time.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that after all, we are all destined to be forgotten about, I bet that eventually we won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here, I hope that when the time is right for you to leave you find the freedom you search for.