Discussion Unworthy of nice stuff

[Rolliewoo]

Hi all
I'm fairly new here, and I must say I've felt a weird sense of relief since I found this site. I feel like its lifted a weight....so thank you for being an ace community.

One of my issues i wanted to discuss.....I have this feeling when I buy new stuff, be it for the home or for myself (never feel bad when its for my kids) its a horrible deep deep gut wrenching pain in my heart and tummy that I don't deserve these nice things, it makes me cry instantly and then the feelings are so powerful that I instantiously just wanna be dead....its feels that powerful.

I think its down to guilt about various fuck ups but I just wondered if anyone else experiences this regular and if so how do manage it in the moment?

 

[luten]

well, my late mother only bought her children new stuff, she never bought herself anything. Now as a grownup, I feel really sad when i think about her life, and how much she sacrificed. I believe your kids want to see you in good shape, have new clothes, looking good. You don't have to deserve it.

 

[Mentalmick]

I think a lot of people with mental illness (including myself) have very low levels of self worth, self hatred even, so doing something nice for themselves just doesn't feel right. I know I loathe getting gifts and such.

 

[Rolliewoo]

well, my late mother only bought her children new stuff, she never bought herself anything. Now as a grownup, I feel really sad when i think about her life, and how much she sacrificed. I believe your kids want to see you in good shape, have new clothes, looking good. You don't have to deserve it.

Yeah its a valid point that is, thank you

 

[Rolliewoo]

I think a lot of people with mental illness (including myself) have very low levels of self worth, self hatred even, so doing something nice for themselves just doesn't feel right. I know I loathe getting gifts and such.

Yeah we probably don't realise the degree of it huh....it can be crippling and more so keeping it to yourself....its nice to be able to chat on here about stuff .
I see you aren't far from me, I didn't expect that : )

 

[Mentalmick]

Yeah we probably don't realise the degree of it huh....it can be crippling and more so keeping it to yourself....its nice to be able to chat on here about stuff .
I see you aren't far from me, I didn't expect that : )

Just up the road.