Unsure and nervous

[Mooshi]

I was planning on ctb some time during this month.. but now that the month has arrived I'm super nervous and unsure.. I've decided that I don't necessarily WANT to ctb, I just want peace. If there is a way to achieve peace without me ctb then I want to do that, but in my current circumstance I don't see a way of doing that. The only way I see of achieving peace is to ctb.. but there's also things I still want do to.

I was so sure that I wanted to ctb but now I just don't know what to do.. All I want is peace.. life is horrible but there's still things I want to do.. ughh.. my day is getting closer and I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

 

[WornOutLife]

If you're unsure, don't do it.

You gotta make sure to be 100% sure you wanna go for it.

I don't know if and when I'll ctb but for the time being, I'm not sure so, living or crying all day in my bed while losing my mind are the only options left.

Hope you can feel better soon!

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[Beachedwhale]

I feel similarly. Ready to go but there are still things I want to do. But it feels very difficult or impossible to achieve them.

 

[Mooshi]

If you're unsure, don't do it.

You gotta make sure to be 100% sure you wanna go for it.

I don't know if and when I'll ctb but for the time being, I'm not sure so, living or crying all day in my bed while losing my mind are the only options left.

Hope you can feel better soon!

Hugs and love,

Matt

Yes you're right.. I know I really should be 100% sure.. thank you for your kind words, I hope I feel better soon too, and you as well

 

[deathisnear]

I agree, if you're not 100% sure, I would hold off. While I know it's confusing, frustrating, a mix of emotions, you can't come back if you do it. Also if you're unsure, it leaves more room for error. I think many of us have been in that boat of setting a date and not being able to go through with it for a variety of reasons. CTB will be ready for you when you're 100% ready, don't rush it if you're unsure, Peace friend

 

[ClownMe]

Hold off for sure if you aren't 100% and still think you have things that you would like to do. There's no rush.

 

[FuneralCry]

I see ctb as a last resort option when we are desperate and there is no hope left. If there is things you want to do then you should try to pursue them. I understand your desire for peace, I feel the same, life can be exhausting.

 

[Mooshi]

I know I have to have 100% sure... It's just some of the people in my life make being alive a lot more agonizing then otherwise, and it's not like I can cut them out either. I just want peace but these people make it extremely difficult, they make me want to ctb 10x more and just fucckkkkkk

 

[heretogethelp]

I was planning on ctb some time during this month.. but now that the month has arrived I'm super nervous and unsure.. I've decided that I don't necessarily WANT to ctb, I just want peace. If there is a way to achieve peace without me ctb then I want to do that, but in my current circumstance I don't see a way of doing that. The only way I see of achieving peace is to ctb.. but there's also things I still want do to.

I was so sure that I wanted to ctb but now I just don't know what to do.. All I want is peace.. life is horrible but there's still things I want to do.. ughh.. my day is getting closer and I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

I am in the same boat as you, if I ctb it will probably in September or October. Once, I have enough money in my account & can buy SN.