Unless you've been close to death, you truly dont know what you're in for.

[Lifeless mindset]

Throughout these past few months I've began to realize mind is a crazy thing, the mind believes whatever you tell it, once your mind is sucked into the depths of depression it almost seems impossible to climb out, in my case, its the fact that my depression makes me comfortable with where I am at mentally. I'm constantly thinking about suicide and I sometimes wonder if thats just my depression putting up a road block, stopping me from seeing any other path to go down, leaving me with no sight of direction and feeling like my only option is to drive straight through. Have I been in any near death situations? Well, yes, but I have never been on a hospital bed realizing that I may die any moment. Death is a concept that nobody can fully understand, death is only something that we can't even properly prepare for no matter how much we try, all we can do is judge whether we truly want to die or not which in itself is one of the hardest decisions I have ever tried to make in my life. My only fears are failing and regret. If someone who is perfectly happy tells themselves every day for years that they want to kill them self, it will pull them into this deep, suicidal mindset, now once they've reached this mindset, is it true that they truly want to die? With no real reason behind their choice, would you say that person truly wants to die? Now looking at other people like the majority of us here, who have many reasons behind why we want to die, what makes us so sure we really want to? The constant thought of wanting to die would make anyone believe they want to kill themselves right? Is it the fact that we are so tied up with the thought of our problems that we see no other option? Is having depression, on top of dealing with our everyday problems so blinding to the point where we see no other option but to drive straight through that road block? Is wanting to die really a valid reason to die? Maybe I'm just playing devils advocate with myself because part of me would say yes. Death is a crazy ass concept, and the mind is an even crazier concept. Sorry for rambling but I just needed to let this out to someone. I'd like to thank whoever has made it this far into this post.

 

[nihilism44]

I have these exact thoughts all the time. Do I actually want to die or have I just had suicidal ideation for too long? Is it just self sabotage when things get difficult? My suicidal ideation has become my comfort and safe space. Having that "way out" in the back of my head keeps me going every day. Took the words out of my mouth.

 

[Lifeless mindset]

I have these exact thoughts all the time. Do I actually want to die or have I just had suicidal ideation for too long? Is it just self sabotage when things get difficult? My suicidal ideation has become my comfort and safe space. Having that "way out" in the back of my head keeps me going every day. Took the words out of my mouth.

Its almost annoying having thoughts like that, It makes it 10× harder to actually make a final decision.

 

[CozyTime]

The mind is indeed a very powerful tool and your thoughts have a lot of merit.

I believe its why the "change your mindset" actually holds valid truth to it because a lot of people fall into it due to their mind and its what they genuinely need. If you see a professional that is part of the process for getting out of it, changing your mindset even by a small amount in a different direction can cause a huge difference but its used way too often and lightly without the knowledge behind it leading to the understandable frustration when people hear the words.

Having reached a certain situation in my life and mindset/mental health that does currently not allow me to consider suicide an option I honestly quite miss it, like Nihilism said its comforting and now during the bad days the anxiety, anger etc. Is just increased because of it.

Weird mix of positives and negatives for sure.

 

[Lifeless mindset]

The mind is indeed a very powerful tool and your thoughts have a lot of merit.

I believe its why the "change your mindset" actually holds valid truth to it because a lot of people fall into it due to their mind and its what they genuinely need. If you see a professional that is part of the process for getting out of it, changing your mindset even by a small amount in a different direction can cause a huge difference but its used way too often and lightly without the knowledge behind it leading to the understandable frustration when people hear the words.

Having reached a certain situation in my life and mindset/mental health that does currently not allow me to consider suicide an option I honestly quite miss it, like Nihilism said its comforting and now during the bad days the anxiety, anger etc. Is just increased because of it.

Weird mix of positives and negatives for sure.

100%

 

[Crazy4u]

this is a very good thread. I don't care if I die or not. I just want to escape and leave this world. I don't want to wake up, do survival tasks, feel sad, and go back to sleep. It is a horrible world to live in

not living >>>> dying

 

[D&D]

Like a cloak or a shawl ... it comforts, protects and hides.

It uplifts and removes ... from the world's slough.

For a time ... before it claims that which it has made its. Life.

Yours.

Mine.

Ours.

And no tricks.

 

[trigzter]

no disrespect but how would anyone know how it feels to be close to death until they actually are? this seems like a pointless thread because of course people wont know...until they know

 

[D&D]

no disrespect but how would anyone know how it feels to be close to death until they actually are? this seems like a pointless thread because of course people wont know...until they know

You, and I and the rest of the humanity, are close to death every day of our lives.

Every hour.

Even if we do not know it.

Especially if we don't know it.

 

[trigzter]

You, and I and the rest of the humanity, are close to death every day of our lives.

Every hour.

Even if we do not know it.

Especially if we don't know it.

thats common knowledge and has nothing to do with the OP

 

[Lifeless mindset]

no disrespect but how would anyone know how it feels to be close to death until they actually are? this seems like a pointless thread because of course people wont know...until they know

People are saved from dying everyday. Everyday there's someone out there who is on a hospital bed literally dying but are saved by doctors. Nobody knows what it's like to be dead but plenty of people know what it's like to be close to death.

 

[trigzter]

People are saved from dying everyday. Everyday there's someone out there who is on a hospital bed literally dying but are saved by doctors. Nobody knows what it's like to be dead but plenty of people know what it's like to be close to death.

i believe you are confusing close to death with need a doctors intervention to live. very few will wither between the lines of life and death, and have the capacity to come back and comment on it

 

[Lifeless mindset]

thats common knowledge and has nothing to do with the OP

Living everyday life everyday or for example getting hit by a car and nearly dying on your death bed are two really different ways of being close to death

 

[9BBN]

I had a near death experience. All it made me realize is that being unconscious is like dreamless sleep. Time passes without you like nothing. Actually made it easier to come to terms with death that way. Anyway, if you believe the source of your depression could be contributed by your own thoughts, I urge you to try something like CBT if you haven't.

 

[Lifeless mindset]

i believe you are confusing close to death with need a doctors intervention to live. very few will wither between the lines of life and death, and have the capacity to come back and comment on it

I see your point, but aren't there people out there who have been close to death and still survived without the aid of doctors?

 

[trigzter]

of course there are. they are at the end of statistical bell curves though. less than 1%. I dont discount your feelings toward death i believe. i cant read that entire essay. I was just mentioning that the premise of the post was nonsensical because of course very few know what it is like to be on deaths door

 

[D&D]

thats common knowledge and has nothing to do with the OP

Being a 'common knowledge' renders your question 'how would anyone know how it feels to be close to death until they actually are?' irrelevant ... since, in your own words, it is a common knowledge that we are all close to death every day/hour of our lives. It thus follows that we all know 'how it feels to be close to death.'

Anyway ... the thread is trying to gauge whether constant or frequent suicide ideations can become self-fulling prophecy. Unsurprisingly, the answer, in my view, is depends on many factors. That said the step from ideations, however frequent, to attempt (by which, in this context, is meant 'coming close to death') is a big one.

 

[trigzter]

Being a 'common knowledge' renders your question 'how would anyone know how it feels to be close to death until they actually are?' irrelevant ... since, in your own words, it is a common knowledge that we are all close to death every day/hour of our lives. It thus follows that we all know 'how it feels to be close to death.'

Anyway ... the thread is trying to gauge whether constant or frequent suicide ideations can become self-fulling prophecy. Unsurprisingly, the answer, in my view, is depends on many factors. That said the step from ideations, however frequent, to attempt (by which, in this context, is meant 'coming close to death') isos

so you are telling me that we should all know what being close to death is like? by your own admission. or is this just a stupid topic to bring up? please...enlighten me with your knowledge

 

[Everybody_yells]

I resonate with what you described.!

It's not like I have been always happy, but I guess growing up, my distractions and fun stuffs I did, clouded me from thoughts of reality and purpose checks. But then sometimes it only takes one event of pain to push oneself to oblivion. Now that I down that path, my mind often oscillates between getting out of this pit of depression and going down further through the rabbit hole.

Most times, I feel the latter would be the easier choice and thus to ctb , considering all the struggles I will have to go through to merely feel one step better, which seems near to impossible.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

If someone who is perfectly happy tells themselves every day for years that they want to kill them self, it will pull them into this deep, suicidal mindset

I don't think so.

 

[L-L]

A lot of what you wrote resonated with me, too, Lifeless Mindset. Particularly:

Death is a concept that nobody can fully understand, death is only something that we can't even properly prepare for no matter how much we try, all we can do is judge whether we truly want to die or not which in itself is one of the hardest decisions I have ever tried to make in my life. My only fears are failing and regret.

And;

Death is a crazy ass concept, and the mind is an even crazier concept.

I feel like I've been in the same boat for the majority of my adult life. I made a decision a few years ago to try my best to 'make a go' of life - moved country, new job etc. Now I'm just miserable in another country and more lonely, to boot. Does one force outweigh the other? If the threshold is crossed, will then be when I make the decision and take the actions?

I feel like I'm constantly asking the similar question, or solving the same equation: is wanting to die reason enough to stop living for everyone else? It's a question to which I find the variables shift in both value and impact constantly, yet it has always been an unbalanced equation.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I certainly want death. I want non existence, I do not want to experience anything ever again. I believe that in a world like this, wanting suicide is perfectly rational. For me, it makes sense to escape from decades of suffering. It can be comforting to think about death as it is an end to everything for me. This is an interesting post, thanks for sharing.

 

[rationaltake]

In my case, I certainly want death. I want non existence, I do not want to experience anything ever again. I believe that in a world like this, wanting suicide is perfectly rational. For me, it makes sense to escape from decades of suffering. It can be comforting to think about death as it is an end to everything for me. This is an interesting post, thanks for sharing.

Yes. This is a very interesting post.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I had brushes with death few times and everytime when I feel it (instinctively) close to, it is the most pressing feeling that you want to live no matter what. SI is extremely powerful yet it is something that beatable and that depends on alot of factors