TheHatedOne
Death is salvation
- Sep 26, 2021
- 2,028
Are there any university students here who hate the subject they are studying (but liked it initially) ? Here's my story:
I'm second year in university. I'm studying foreign languages (for the sake of anonymity I won't say which, I'll just call them language A and B). When I joined university one year ago and so, I absolutely liked these two languages. After all that's why I chose them lol.
My first year university experience kinda changed my perspective. In the beginning I had only 1 class face to face (language A) and the rest were online due to covid. I've tried to make friends and talk to people both in class from language A and B. I've tried first in class language A since I also had 1 class face to face. I struggled to be the total opposite of what I am. I struggled to be extroverted, accepting, funny and normie like. I've tried to approach people and be friendly. I wanna say that this is the first and last time in my life when I'll be like that. It was disgusting.
All I received was just ignoring and hating. They already knew each other somehow and everyone already had a friend. None was interested in making a new one, let alone making friends with a masked pathetic forever alone loser who's the most ugly (maybe that's why humans are like this to me, I'm too ugly).
In the chat groups in both language A and B I am always ignored no matter what. I remember when I had an online exam in lang A when I finished and asked in the group chat the email of the teacher to send my answers. I fucking had to spam and be aggressive because no one bothered to answer to me while they were quickly replying to each other instead. Thats how hated I am for no. fucking. reason.
I've became disgusted since then and I hate all of my "classmates". They are superficial, evil, mean, and their whole personality is Facebook, Instagram or whatever social media is available today. I'm left out everywhere but it doesn't surprise me anymore. University is the same shit as high school.
Now I'm gonna move on to the teachers. One thing I have to note is that in the shithole I live in the educational system is corrupted to the core. That easily allows teachers who are abusive and who love to take their life frustration out on students. Many teachers will scream at students, verbally abuse them and whoever knows what other horrific things (thankfully classes were and still are online).
Last year I've cried 2 times because of two teachers from lang A. One of them basically made me stupid because I was struggling in an exercise (that particular day hasn't been good for me) and the other who's also native somehow intentionally ignores me in classes. She puts everyone else to answer, but me. That's how I managed to quit many times throughout the middle of the class without being observed.
Even though I had these experiences in the first year (coupled with the overall stress that made me despise university, from the first year already) at least I LOVED the two languages I was learning.
But... this summer holiday things have changed.
After some thought I decided I didn't really like language B anymore. I think it's because it wasn't what I expected and the grammar doesn't make sense in my opinion. I think it's also because of the way one teacher was teaching that made me feel dumb. My lowest grades in exams both first semester and second semester were in this language.
It's kind of more complicated with language A. See, I've met another native of this language online in a game. He's been mean to me for no reason. He seems to be really entitled. It's an over a year of experiences coupled with the fact that recently this guy started to bully me and won't leave me alone. Already meeting two natives who have been awful with me made me have enough and that's why I don't like this language anymore. Call me sensitive and stupid, that's what I am anyway.
Today the second year started and I only have feelings of anxiety and dreading. I don't want to interact with those people anymore. I don't wanna go through abuse anymore.
You could be asking me why I don't quit. I've thought about doing this and maybe start over and learn other languages that I actually like. But there's something in the middle. I want to escape and move out of this shithole asap. I despise this country and every second lived in it. Now I'm in second year and next year would be my final year. If I quit now I'd have to spend 3-4 more years. It's too much in my opinion.
That being said I have nothing else to do than endure this shit. After all life is only about things you dislike. And I dislike life itself.
Of course that if things escalate I'll probably quit.
I just curse my choices when I could have chosen a language that I like since childhood as language A.
That was my story. I'm really curious to hear yours.
I'm second year in university. I'm studying foreign languages (for the sake of anonymity I won't say which, I'll just call them language A and B). When I joined university one year ago and so, I absolutely liked these two languages. After all that's why I chose them lol.
My first year university experience kinda changed my perspective. In the beginning I had only 1 class face to face (language A) and the rest were online due to covid. I've tried to make friends and talk to people both in class from language A and B. I've tried first in class language A since I also had 1 class face to face. I struggled to be the total opposite of what I am. I struggled to be extroverted, accepting, funny and normie like. I've tried to approach people and be friendly. I wanna say that this is the first and last time in my life when I'll be like that. It was disgusting.
All I received was just ignoring and hating. They already knew each other somehow and everyone already had a friend. None was interested in making a new one, let alone making friends with a masked pathetic forever alone loser who's the most ugly (maybe that's why humans are like this to me, I'm too ugly).
In the chat groups in both language A and B I am always ignored no matter what. I remember when I had an online exam in lang A when I finished and asked in the group chat the email of the teacher to send my answers. I fucking had to spam and be aggressive because no one bothered to answer to me while they were quickly replying to each other instead. Thats how hated I am for no. fucking. reason.
I've became disgusted since then and I hate all of my "classmates". They are superficial, evil, mean, and their whole personality is Facebook, Instagram or whatever social media is available today. I'm left out everywhere but it doesn't surprise me anymore. University is the same shit as high school.
Now I'm gonna move on to the teachers. One thing I have to note is that in the shithole I live in the educational system is corrupted to the core. That easily allows teachers who are abusive and who love to take their life frustration out on students. Many teachers will scream at students, verbally abuse them and whoever knows what other horrific things (thankfully classes were and still are online).
Last year I've cried 2 times because of two teachers from lang A. One of them basically made me stupid because I was struggling in an exercise (that particular day hasn't been good for me) and the other who's also native somehow intentionally ignores me in classes. She puts everyone else to answer, but me. That's how I managed to quit many times throughout the middle of the class without being observed.
Even though I had these experiences in the first year (coupled with the overall stress that made me despise university, from the first year already) at least I LOVED the two languages I was learning.
But... this summer holiday things have changed.
After some thought I decided I didn't really like language B anymore. I think it's because it wasn't what I expected and the grammar doesn't make sense in my opinion. I think it's also because of the way one teacher was teaching that made me feel dumb. My lowest grades in exams both first semester and second semester were in this language.
It's kind of more complicated with language A. See, I've met another native of this language online in a game. He's been mean to me for no reason. He seems to be really entitled. It's an over a year of experiences coupled with the fact that recently this guy started to bully me and won't leave me alone. Already meeting two natives who have been awful with me made me have enough and that's why I don't like this language anymore. Call me sensitive and stupid, that's what I am anyway.
Today the second year started and I only have feelings of anxiety and dreading. I don't want to interact with those people anymore. I don't wanna go through abuse anymore.
You could be asking me why I don't quit. I've thought about doing this and maybe start over and learn other languages that I actually like. But there's something in the middle. I want to escape and move out of this shithole asap. I despise this country and every second lived in it. Now I'm in second year and next year would be my final year. If I quit now I'd have to spend 3-4 more years. It's too much in my opinion.
That being said I have nothing else to do than endure this shit. After all life is only about things you dislike. And I dislike life itself.
Of course that if things escalate I'll probably quit.
I just curse my choices when I could have chosen a language that I like since childhood as language A.
That was my story. I'm really curious to hear yours.
