Unethical to be in a relationship

[Doctors HATE them]

I think it would be unethical for someone like me with tons of trauma and illnesses to ever have a partner. Everyone deserves to be able to live a life free from stress and negativity. I'm left in a situation where I really want to be loved but I don't allow myself to have it because I don't wanna damage anyone. I wish suicide pacts were legal so I could fall in love with someone who was suicidal like me and we could die together.

 

[icantandiwont]

i sometimes wish suicide pacts were legal too, but then i remember there's the possibility one of you could survive

 

[jodes2]

I think you deserve a partner

 

[tyasma]

I wish suicide pacts were legal so I could fall in love with someone who was suicidal like me and we could die together.

I mean, you can ignore the law if both if you want to. What are they gonna do, lock your corpses in prison?
That apart, I relate to your feelings. I'm at a point where I can only see myself being "seen" by another suicidal partner. Which sucks, but I've been like this since early adolescence so it's an important part of me. I choose being alone over destroying other "normal" people with my sadness, though. Two different planets.

 

[hopeless302]

it's not unethical. Having trauma and illnesses doesn't mean you deserve to be alone. Just be up front and honest about what you're going through, and if they accept it then it's all good.

 

[Doctors HATE them]

it's not unethical. Having trauma and illnesses doesn't mean you deserve to be alone. Just be up front and honest about what you're going through, and if they accept it then it's all good.

The thing is that I genuinely believe that anyone who agrees to dating me must not know what's best for them. Why make them regret their choice and then also have to be sad from a breakup?

 

[stermc]

My ex of 5 years was not suicidal nor depressed. As a matter of fact, he was a shallow person, but he was happy at least. The only thing I can say is that I don't want to date someone who doesn't really understand what I've been through. And I don't think it is unethical.
Even considering suicide, it's okay to fall in love and live things before doing it. You can live good things before dying.

 

[Doctors HATE them]

My ex of 5 years was not suicidal nor depressed. As a matter of fact, he was a shallow person, but he was happy at least. The only thing I can say is that I don't want to date someone who doesn't really understand what I've been through. And I don't think it is unethical.
Even considering suicide, it's okay to fall in love and live things before doing it. You can live good things before dying.

Idk what to say I just disagree.
Also, if I become happy then I might not ctb when given the chance which would be really bad cause of how often and easily I relapse. By dating, I hurt myself and the other person so I just don't see it being an option.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Congratulations for thinking on the other person feelings. It's very rare nowadays.

 

[makethepainstop]

The other side of the coin, you could fall so in love with someone,who made you so happy.....you no longer need to CTB!

 

[stermc]

Idk what to say I just disagree.
Also, if I become happy then I might not ctb when given the chance which would be really bad cause of how often and easily I relapse. By dating, I hurt myself and the other person so I just don't see it being an option.

I understand what you are saying! I agree with you, but also disagree lol
Either way, I am sorry you are suffering!
Life is kinda unfair.

 

[Unending]

The other side of the coin, you could fall so in love with someone,who made you so happy.....you no longer need to CTB!

I thought my last relationship was going to save me from my pessimism and dark outlook on life but it unfortunately wasn't sustainable. To be fair, I was honest about this side of me from the very first time I began to get to know my ex but I guess being okay with it during the honeymoon phase wasn't the same as being okay with it afterwards. I think that I will be proud of myself if I don't get in another relationship for at least another several years.

 

[Doctors HATE them]

The other side of the coin, you could fall so in love with someone,who made you so happy.....you no longer need to CTB!

I doubt that
I miss my ex man. We were supposed to be together forever and hep each other through our depression. Now I have to deal the the knowledge that those kinds of relationships aren't real. Idk which is miss more, her or the illusion of a future worth living.

 

[MellowAvenue]

I don't think it's unethical but do think trying to hide your mental baggage sometimes is. There's something of a line, and I'm not sure where that line is (I'd say before they move in with you though), where you should be pretty forthcoming about whatever baggage you may have, especially if it's serious enough that it may cause you to self-sabotage the relationship.

It's a complex issue though. There probably isn't really a right or wrong answer.

 

[UtopianElephant]

I think it would be unethical for someone like me with tons of trauma and illnesses to ever have a partner. Everyone deserves to be able to live a life free from stress and negativity. I'm left in a situation where I really want to be loved but I don't allow myself to have it because I don't wanna damage anyone. I wish suicide pacts were legal so I could fall in love with someone who was suicidal like me and we could die together.

It depends. You make some decent and valid points. In some cases, partners may love and care for one another to the degree that they value and care one another and would respect even a choice of either to ctb.

It would definitely be problematic for a mojority of people though.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Usually, there is much more to a person being suicidal than lacking love or a partner. Oftentimes people seek out partners in life in the hopes of healing their own feelings of depression. I think it seldom works. I think if you pretty much know you're going to ctb at some point in time, then it is best not to drag someone else into it, if it can at all be helped. I think it's just too much to expect of anyone to take away all of one's own problems. The better approach would be to heal thyself first. If you can find someone also intent on ctb, I see no issue with that.

 

[HarpyWitch]

Exactly what I was thinking.
I'm not saying it's unethical overall/for everyone, but when it comes to myself, I just know I would only mentally & emotionally harm that person. Already have. Nobody has ever been able to put up with my bpd, depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts/tendencies. And I've heard so many times that people are tired of me...

 

[fracturedviolence]

i think about this a lot and i get it. i have resisted and broke things off with people for this reason too

 

[S like Siren]

I thought my last relationship was going to save me from my pessimism and dark outlook on life but it unfortunately wasn't sustainable. To be fair, I was honest about this side of me from the very first time I began to get to know my ex but I guess being okay with it during the honeymoon phase wasn't the same as being okay with it afterwards.

I relate to this...
although my partner has been suicidal too and he should know how it feels...he can be extremely cold and insensitive when i feel bad.
The only good thing i can do for me is kill myself because noone will never understand..
Neither who says you that loves you.

 

[SectOfValtiel]

thats how i feel
im too far gone
my thoughts are a mess, my body is a mess, my emotions are out of control and nothing but SHing or smoking weed help calm them down
i cant even take care of myself- emotionally or physically
theres no way i could ever make someone happy, and i know that for a fact because i tried at least three times haha
and they all ended up hating me
or hurting me
or being hurt *by* me, and i cant stand that feeling anymore- i never want to hurt someone again
i dont want to be alone but i never want to hurt someone again
and without some way to manage my mental illness ill never be capable of that

and at this point i think its safe to say ill never be capable of that, either

ill more than likely die alone
because even if the opportunity presented itself to not be, i think id pass it by
rather than falling for another person thats just going to end up leaving


id kill to be in love again
i know for a fact itd pull me out of this dark place if i was, if it was mutual and safe and healthy
im just not capable of healthy love
im not someone that is capable of being loved, period
its just a fact ive had to accept
rather than getting my hopes up every time someone is nice to me- and even that doesnt really happen anymore

its incredibly lonely and painful but at least i feel like im doing the right thing
not putting anyone else through the emotional stress my ex dealt with
at least i own up for it, now
and punish myself for it

 

[cassxtho]

I think it's okay as long as you're up front about it and try to work through your own issues. I'm pretty sure my ex is bipolar, it runs in his family and even he knew he was exhibiting the same symptoms, but he refused to get help for God knows what reason. Ended up braking up with me three times because he suffered through a lot of issues bipolar people have in a relationship (constant dissatisfaction, extreme mood shifts, etc) and it took him a week to catch feelings for somebody else and brake up with me on one of the most important nights of my year. Worst part is he told me he honestly thinks it'll end in a similar way with his new relationship, and with the way he acts towards me and his friends I honestly believe it.

The point of this is that I believe if he had been upfront at the very least, we would have been able to break up in a way that didn't hurt as much. At the most, maybe he would have gotten the help he needed, and we would still be dating today. Everyone deserves to love and receive love, as long as they are upfront about anything that might negatively affect the other party. Just have to make sure you don't expect too much out of it, the only person who will ever be able to improve you is yourself.

 

[chocolatebar]

I think it would be unethical for someone like me with tons of trauma and illnesses to ever have a partner. Everyone deserves to be able to live a life free from stress and negativity. I'm left in a situation where I really want to be loved but I don't allow myself to have it because I don't wanna damage anyone. I wish suicide pacts were legal so I could fall in love with someone who was suicidal like me and we could die together.

When someone loves you, they love you for the person you are, not he person they expect you to be.

You don't have to feel bad about being the person you are. Never.

When someone loves you, they love you for the person you are, not he person they expect you to be.

You don't have to feel bad about being the person you are. Never.

besides, it's not like the other person doesn't have their own traumas and may bring negativity t you as well

in relationships, one always hurt the other a little, it's inevitable, but the mutual love and good shared experiences should be greater in a healthy relationship