Uncontrollable Rage

[RM5998]

Well, I've learned to not get into fights with other people and only destroy my own stuff, so does that count as an improvement?

 

[lululoo]

Thanks Soul! I think the Stones are the least depressing music in the world. I mean, they have sad songs, but generally they just rock out. I put the line with my profile pic as a last gasp at maybe getting out of this place I'm in mentally and physically. The physical hasn't been too bad lately, but my mental health has been horrible. I don't ever want to get out of bed. I'm frozen, afraid, and I generally feel like a failure. This is the last song at the end of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," one of my favorite movies. I used to have the lust for life like Hunter S. Thompson, and when he drives away at the end in the desert trailing the American Flag it used to be a symbol of my spirit. I want to get back there, but I've just never been this low before. I can't afford the treatment I need, and I'm terrified of working anymore. It's awful. And at the time I was thinking, well, Hunter went out on his own terms at the end of a shotgun, why shouldn't I? Even though he could barely walk and his mental health wasn't't great. He was also a lot older than I am now. Plus I couldn't use a gun, but he was way into firearms so it makes sense.

And I don't like to be vengeful, but I hope a certain family will think of me any time they hear this song. For pasting my fucking profile pic on Facebook and then their local news. Of course, no one would associate it with me personally, but that really pissed me off. My screen name and that quote belong to a part of me only I know, and I shared what it means here in another post. SS is somewhere I let out shit I never even tell a therapist. I know most people let go of all that hype by now, but damn, this is a private forum of people at their lowest. It's not like there was one person on here suffering. I'm sorry, I never really said anything about it in my original response when Marquis wrote his post "about recent events", but I didn't know at that time I was one of the first responses splashed on someone's Facebook page and then their local news.

Thanks for this though - I saw the Stones in 1980 with my dad - I had a miserable childhood, but that was one great memory. They lowered Mick down on a cherry picker. Of course since it was 1980 they opened with Start Me Up.

I'm sorry that happened to you with that family. I understand how you feel. I would also feel pissed and violated.