Venting Unable to connect with people

[Trakehner]

It feels like there's something fundamentally wrong with me. I never develop any emotional connection with anyone despite trying. I often have trouble expressing myself in a way that is comprehensible to most. I basically live in solitary confinement. Almost no human interaction as a result of being so socially inept. When I do try to interact, everyone hates me and sees me as some sort of alien. Either that or I get completely ignored. All I want is to have at least one friend that would shine a light into my otherwise dark and lonely existence. Realistically, this will never happen.

 

[murun_b]

I understand how you feel. My social incompetence and inability to form connections is probably the number one reason why I'm making plans to end my life.

But I also tell myself that if I have made my plans and aquired the necessary materials (probably during the coming spring), I will make one final attempt to get my life in order and find some people who I can share my life with. And if it doesn't work, I have suicide as my backup plan. Have you ever considered getting professional help? I have read about things like social competence training which takes place in a group setting guided by therapists. I don't think this sort of thing can teach you how to form real friendships or have meaningful connections with other people, but maybe it can teach some skills that are useful for meeting people in the first place, opening up, showing affection, etc.

I really don't know. But one thing I am certain about: a life without friends and people who care for me is not worth living