Venting unable to access methods

[jellymomo]

I feel like i'm just stuck in this world. I live under a strict household so it's very rare for me to have access to resources. I would love to drown or jump, but I'm not even near any tall buildings/bridge or a body of water. I have methods such as the night-night method but i don't even think it's a high success rate. I've viewed the ctb method megathread many times, trying to find the method that is the most accessible to me and i never find any.

I feel so hopeless and I can't even fix my hopelessness by ctbing this is so pathetic i'm sorry

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's often so incredibly difficult to get access to reliable methods for a peaceful exit.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Omg, I'm the exact same and I even made a thread in the past trying to find like minded people but I barely got any replies implying that many people here are able to access a peaceful method. It's so depressing to see all of these posts about SN because I know that I won't ever have it and that I may have to resort to a brutal method such as drowning but who knows if I'm even able to do that. Just like you, I also live in a strict household with controlling parents (and I won't ever become independent due to my autism). You don't have to apologise at the end of your post for it as I don't think that you're pathetic at all. It's understandable as to how we're both unable to ctb but being trapped in existence sucks immensely and I hate it. I want to be let out and be free but unfortunately I'm just a prisoner to existence

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so trapped here, to me it feels so cruel how I cannot just have the option to just painlessly die, I only hope for a painless death to bring me peace from my suffering. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[jellymomo]

Omg, I'm the exact same and I even made a thread in the past trying to find like minded people but I barely got any replies implying that many people here are able to access a peaceful method. It's so depressing to see all of these posts about SN because I know that I won't ever have it and that I may have to resort to a brutal method such as drowning but who knows if I'm even able to do that. Just like you, I also live in a strict household with controlling parents (and I won't ever become independent due to my autism). You don't have to apologise at the end of your post for it as I don't think that you're pathetic at all. It's understandable as to how we're both unable to ctb but being trapped in existence sucks immensely and I hate it. I want to be let out and be free but unfortunately I'm just a prisoner to existence

aw its comforting that we relate to each other :(( hopefully we can get through this it's such a struggle

 

[ijustwishtodie]

aw its comforting that we relate to each other :(( hopefully we can get through this it's such a struggle

I also hope that we can get through this. I'm honestly super scared regarding existence and how I may potentially have to live until natural death. It really is so terrifying and scary