they say that girls don't judge men on the appearance. I think this is not true a ugly men cannot get a girlfriend. These online dating only makes things worse. If your ugly then you don't get any contacts. I don't no if my life is beter with a gf sometimes I think it will sometimes I think it won't change anything
I know plenty of unattractive guys with girlfriends and wives. Women too for that matter.
4_science
Student
- Apr 12, 2024
- 101
Who says that? Just like men, women prefer an attractive person over unattractive people. Unless you are stinking rich or have other outstanding qualities, looks matter for both sexes. Women can be just as picky or even pickier than men.
Yeah I know. But even ugly girls think they can get good looking men. Woman have all the odds in online dating
Ugly men can definately get woman if u got money, good package in pants etc.
Not unconditional love maybe but thats mostly fairytale anyway and doesnt really exist or if exist it is between parents and kids
Not unconditional love maybe but thats mostly fairytale anyway and doesnt really exist or if exist it is between parents and kids
Attractive is subjective but there are things men and women can do such as eating clean, working out, good hygiene etc
I think too much that my problems can be solved with a relationship. I know it's not true because I had a relationship and my anxiety was sky high then. But every now and then that feeling comes back
persimmon
Student
- Jan 21, 2024
- 148
I've known dudes with faces like a blind cobbler's thumb and they got more tail than prime Warren Beatty. Looks matter but status and chutzpah count for a lot, my friend.
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 20,973
Agreed, but ugliness isn't a purely aesthetic thing. I'm ugly on the inside more than on the outside and that's why I have never gotten with any women.
sammiechzxv
just a girl who's kinda sad
- Aug 7, 2023
- 242
From my experience its always the ugliest guys that pull the most tbh... But people who are super insecure are usually single. I doubt you're as ugly as you think and confidence genuinely what attracts people. Calling yourself ugly isn't going to do you any favors. I guess I don't know you or your life though.
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,312
no I even know someone that has a really severe facial disability whos in a long term relationship.Do they have $$$$ ????
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,312
Good for him.
Exception to the rule? Is he uglyhot ??? Perhaps a not so attractive face but a nice body or attitude and confidence. ???
Yeah attitude and confidence.Good for him.
Is he uglyhot ??? Perhaps a not so attractive face but a nice body or attitude and confidence. ???
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,312
I'm happy for him. I must be uglyugly. I'm not looking to date though. Wanting to CTB kinda rules that out.
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 20,973
Attitude? You mean acting like a mild sociopath and confidence, which is only a hair away from narcissism?
People only get away with these kind of unsavory traits if they're good looking.
no like a positive attitudeAttitude? You mean acting like a mild sociopath and confidence, which is only a hair away from narcissism?
People only get away with these kind of unsavory traits if they're good looking.
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 20,973
A positive attitude in this day and age requires at minimum a small degree of delusion and apathy to all the negativity in the world as well as a need to shield oneself from empathy so as not to get bogged down by other people's negative circumstances, hence the sociopathy.
Or worse, it can also be denial which plenty of unsavory males already practice. They say "fake it til you make it" but that seems to stop working when people try to actually do it and end up coming off as creeps for it.
I've never really related to these kind of statements or understood them. What people find to be attractive in a person is way too subjective and personal to be generalized as "ugly men or women can't find a relationship" and everyone has their own guidelines for attraction. Even with there being a "conventional attractiveness" I don't really think anyone is technically ugly. There's plenty of celebrities/models etc. who are supposed to be good looking but I just personally don't find them attractive at all. If you're not compatible or if you don't find their personality attractive I feel like that's a recipe for the relationship failing regardless of how physically attractive you find them. That's just my perspective though and idk why I'm rambling lmao
Everyone has standards, it's true.
I have a hypothesis that your looks should be within the range of the group of people you want to target.
If you manage to break the threshold and someone gives you a chance, people will have time to associate a concrete person's looks with the personality they exhibit. Both looks and personality are important.
You are right that people most often select visually, but rather than seeing it as a limitation, why not view it as a tool you can leverage?
This looks threshold can be challenging to break for some people, but there are many ways to change your appearance. While I am not a professional stylist, I accumulated many tricks over the course of several years. Change takes time.
~~~~
You could try other dating sites that match people based on personality more (than on looks).
Personally, I find some people here quite attractive, even though I have never seen them IRL (@soulkitty who left the reply above..)
~~~~
Some more about lookism:
There is a sh*t ton of tricks that you can do to look more attractive. Lookism does exist, and people tend to judge me more favorably when I look more attractive. Never cared about the looks in the slightest otherwise.
If you view life as a competition, here is how to think about this: Imagine beating your enemy by playing by their rules. If you win, it is completely on them - truly pathetic. The only problem I have with it is that I am growing incredibly bitter and cynical.
You can decide if you want to follow that path.
~~~~
When it comes to defying the odds of finding a girlfriend, I have a friend from high school who is around 150cm tall, Asian (I sound racist here. It is just statistics: asian males statistically have it harder), works as a barber (not your six-figure salary). Despite these factors, he has a loving and caring girlfriend (Slavic) who is objectively attractive, and they have been in a relationship for 5+ years.
~~~
Some of my replies on objective and subjective visual attractiveness and the importance of personality:
sanctioned-suicide.net
sanctioned-suicide.net
I have a hypothesis that your looks should be within the range of the group of people you want to target.
If you manage to break the threshold and someone gives you a chance, people will have time to associate a concrete person's looks with the personality they exhibit. Both looks and personality are important.
You are right that people most often select visually, but rather than seeing it as a limitation, why not view it as a tool you can leverage?
This looks threshold can be challenging to break for some people, but there are many ways to change your appearance. While I am not a professional stylist, I accumulated many tricks over the course of several years. Change takes time.
~~~~
You could try other dating sites that match people based on personality more (than on looks).
Personally, I find some people here quite attractive, even though I have never seen them IRL (@soulkitty who left the reply above..)
~~~~
Some more about lookism:
There is a sh*t ton of tricks that you can do to look more attractive. Lookism does exist, and people tend to judge me more favorably when I look more attractive. Never cared about the looks in the slightest otherwise.
If you view life as a competition, here is how to think about this: Imagine beating your enemy by playing by their rules. If you win, it is completely on them - truly pathetic. The only problem I have with it is that I am growing incredibly bitter and cynical.
You can decide if you want to follow that path.
~~~~
When it comes to defying the odds of finding a girlfriend, I have a friend from high school who is around 150cm tall, Asian (I sound racist here. It is just statistics: asian males statistically have it harder), works as a barber (not your six-figure salary). Despite these factors, he has a loving and caring girlfriend (Slavic) who is objectively attractive, and they have been in a relationship for 5+ years.
~~~
Some of my replies on objective and subjective visual attractiveness and the importance of personality:
I hate being ugly
I hate having to hide myself constantly, not being able to do things I want to just because I recoil at the thought of people even looking at me. Every time I leave my house I wear a hoodie and a mask. If that's to spare me the pain of getting ready and looking in the mirror or to spare others...
sanctioned-suicide.net
Hottest SS users
I enjoyed my conversations to him. We would talk about various things in Instagram DMs, like politics and philosophy. He was fun and interesting to talk to OK sounds good now ask him out
sanctioned-suicide.net
Last edited:
Thank you for the reactions. I think all of you are right. I posted this in a emotional state of mind.
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 20,973
eatantz
I luv dolls
- Nov 4, 2023
- 559
*Hope*
Student
- Jan 18, 2021
- 112
The great thing about appearance is this: you can always get plastic surgery :) (take it from me, I have experience in that department, and yes, appearance makes a huge difference in life)
BlendedHeart
It is what it is
- Mar 9, 2024
- 205
It's not just an ugly thing. Ugly + insecure + boring is the bad combo. Believe me, I know.
