Help [tw: nsfw, incest] should i let this go and stop thinking about it so much?

[VIBRITANNIA]

like the title said, this is going to be very nsfw and incest heavy, so please click off this thread if either of those topics are triggers for you.

around the ages of 5-7, my older sister had some weird behaviors. for reference, she's 4 years older than me. sometimes, she'd open her legs and show me her vagina and ask me if i liked it, or asked me to lick it. i never did - i never really understood any of this, i just took it as something she did, and i ignored her.

she also used to write stories about incest using fictional characters, but made it so they weren't sisters, so it was "okay". i also remember her going into detail about their bodies and giving the older sister a position of power over the younger one. i tried to tell her it was weird, but she would always shrug me off by using the aforementioned justification.

i guess what i'm trying to ask is... do i have the right to be weirded out by this? she never did anything to my body or forced me to do anything to hers, so it's not like i went through some large traumatic event. also, should i bother discussing this with my therapist? it seems so... insignificant to be worried over.

 

[Lilacmoon]

Umm, sorry, I don't really have any practical advice advice... It's definitely a strange situation. But don't feel that it's insignificant. If it's still something you're thinking about, your feelings are valid and worth consideration.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Yes, you have the right to be weirded out. I think it would be a good idea to talk to your therapist about if they feel very safe. Maybe ask them first if they have training in csa, get a feel for whether they're truly safe to tell about this. Sounds to me, though I can't be sure, like your sister was sexually abused. Whatever was done to her was creepy, and it's valid that you felt/feel weirded out by her actions then.

 

[Stick]

It isn't the event that makes something insignificant, it's the emotion. If you are conflicted about this then it might be worth mentioning to your therapist, but if you are just conflicted because you think you should be, then it might not be a problem.
What you went through is definitely weird, you were both very young so it's possible your sister didn't really mean anything by her behavior, but it is definitely not normal and I can see why it might weird you out.

 

[Lmd]

It's weird but both of you were young. Not excusable but she probably didn't know what was she doing. Is she still doing that stuff? how do you feel about that? I think that's more important that if it's weird or not.

I know about people having weird experiences with family but never crossing a line of being totally disgusted so I guess it depends more of you that what people says.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

It's weird but both of you were young. Not excusable but she probably didn't know what was she doing. Is she still doing that stuff? how do you feel about that? I think that's more important that if it's weird or not.

no, she isn't. thank you for commenting.

 

[Meditation guide]

do i have the right to be weirded out by this?

Yes. You do have that right. If it still bothers you or if her behavior is still weird maybe you can limit the time you spend talking to her. You may also wonder how that affected you in your later years.

 

[Lmd]

no, she isn't. thank you for commenting.

If it's something anecdotic and has not left you any sequel then I guess there's nothing to worry about. Anyway, if you need to tell your therapist in case you need an apologize from your sister and don't know how to handle or why that's comming for your mind now or whatever, you are paying to be listened so why not to do it. Honestly if your sister isn't doing anything weird now I think it's a bit extremist start to acting weird now with her or start overthinking weird thigns about her

 

[TheSomebody]

You have the rights, but if she doesn't try to do anything to you or even an implication that she is flirting with you then I don't see a need to worry. As bizarre as it is, the things she likes are her own business.

 

[Ghost2211]

Hey friend, what she did was very wrong and creepy. I'm sorry you endured this.

I haven't really talked about this much, but I'll share for the sake of empathy. When I was 5 my brother who was 8 came in the room took out his penis and asked me if would put my mouth on it. I didn't know how to react and I was weirded out and confused. I didn't do it. It felt wrong, gross, and scary. He told me he would hurt me if I told, so I never did.

 

[dysthimia_king]

like the title said, this is going to be very nsfw and incest heavy, so please click off this thread if either of those topics are triggers for you.

around the ages of 5-7, my older sister had some weird behaviors. for reference, she's 4 years older than me. sometimes, she'd open her legs and show me her vagina and ask me if i liked it, or asked me to lick it. i never did - i never really understood any of this, i just took it as something she did, and i ignored her.

she also used to write stories about incest using fictional characters, but made it so they weren't sisters, so it was "okay". i also remember her going into detail about their bodies and giving the older sister a position of power over the younger one. i tried to tell her it was weird, but she would always shrug me off by using the aforementioned justification.

i guess what i'm trying to ask is... do i have the right to be weirded out by this? she never did anything to my body or forced me to do anything to hers, so it's not like i went through some large traumatic event. also, should i bother discussing this with my therapist? it seems so... insignificant to be worried over.

It seems to bother you to a point where you are seeking a second opinion. you should talk to your therapist... It might give you the closure you seek. Godspeed.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

like the title said, this is going to be very nsfw and incest heavy, so please click off this thread if either of those topics are triggers for you.

around the ages of 5-7, my older sister had some weird behaviors. for reference, she's 4 years older than me. sometimes, she'd open her legs and show me her vagina and ask me if i liked it, or asked me to lick it. i never did - i never really understood any of this, i just took it as something she did, and i ignored her.

she also used to write stories about incest using fictional characters, but made it so they weren't sisters, so it was "okay". i also remember her going into detail about their bodies and giving the older sister a position of power over the younger one. i tried to tell her it was weird, but she would always shrug me off by using the aforementioned justification.

i guess what i'm trying to ask is... do i have the right to be weirded out by this? she never did anything to my body or forced me to do anything to hers, so it's not like i went through some large traumatic event. also, should i bother discussing this with my therapist? it seems so... insignificant to be worried over.

You have a 'right' to be weirded out over anything.

On face value, it sounds typical of childhood experimentation. At the same time, her going so far as to write stories on it and to make it incestuous makes it sound as though SHE was targeted inappropriately herself, as if she was throwing thoughts around and trying to get them into some sort of coherent order. I too was subject to inappropriately sexual conversations and I wrote and drew some really weird shit because I was too young to really process it any better.

Even though she respected your physical boundaries, it does sound as though she was looking to redress the balance by making herself the one in a position of power instead of being in a position of vulnerability.

 

[Party__3nd5]

I think it would be good to find out where that obsession comes from, to talk about it with your parents, to talk about it with your therapist, but first of all to talk about it with her in the most serious way possible, but not in a hostile or vulnerable way. Dialogue always comes first, then suicide

 

[Snake of Eden]

I think it would be good to find out where that obsession comes from, to talk about it with your parents, to talk about it with your therapist, but first of all to talk about it with her in the most serious way possible, but not in a hostile or vulnerable way. Dialogue always comes first, then suicide

Thats awfully weird to bring up stuff like that between grown ups over things that happened when little. I wouldnt risk it personally. I had cousin who did similar things with me but it never escalated to touching or forcing anything. I dont have issues or weirdness over it as we were both little even though he was 3-4 years older. Now everyone moved on with their lives no issues. Just my opinion

 

[NaughtyGirl]

I think it would be good to find out where that obsession comes from, to talk about it with your parents, to talk about it with your therapist, but first of all to talk about it with her in the most serious way possible, but not in a hostile or vulnerable way.

No. What you're suggesting is quite literally the worst thing that could happen. Treating everything sex related in the most serious way possible is precisely why gays are persecuted and why you can't admit to having a foot fetish without risking being mocked for it. If anything our society needs to chill when it comes to these topics.

But to make things worse, what OP described, clearly happened many years ago. Bringing up ancient stuff like that, making serious faces and having serious discussions about what a person did when they were 7 and then telling parents (wtf?) and a therapist is just comically bad idea.

Dialogue always comes first, then suicide

Something tells me that OP wasn't really contemplating suicide over what his/her sister did ages ago.

 

[Party__3nd5]

No. What you're suggesting is quite literally the worst thing that could happen. Treating everything sex related in the most serious way possible is precisely why gays are persecuted and why you can't admit to having a foot fetish without risking being mocked for it. If anything our society needs to chill when it comes to these topics.

But to make things worse, what OP described, clearly happened many years ago. Bringing up ancient stuff like that, making serious faces and having serious discussions about what a person did when they were 7 and then telling parents (wtf?) and a therapist is just comically bad idea.

Yeah its my fault, I regret not having understood that this had happened in the past, I thought that until today they continued to present similar behaviors (I dont speak very well English), but I still maintain that if it is something that bothers you today and that makes you feel some anguish or makes you uncomfortable, it is pertinent to talk about it with a therapist, because anyone in their childhood would be affected in many aspects. in psychology it is said that if any situation, in this case a memory, makes you uncomfortable, you have to talk about it.

Something tells me that OP wasn't really contemplating suicide over what his/her sister did ages ago.

If it is posted in the section of the forum where suicide is discussed, I inferred that this is why it publishes this story. If it is not so, it should be in offtopic or some other section, I think.

 

[ForsakenDial]

This post was now a year ago, but regardless, if you see this...

You have every right to be weirded out. It was abuse, regardless if you were both young. It sounds as if she was likely facing abuse herself at that time and hopefully you have told your therapist.
If this was a long time ago and you are still bothered by it that means it was not insignificant. You shouldn't have to go to sleep at night or live your daily life with those memories, no one should.

No. What you're suggesting is quite literally the worst thing that could happen. Treating everything sex related in the most serious way possible is precisely why gays are persecuted and why you can't admit to having a foot fetish without risking being mocked for it. If anything our society needs to chill when it comes to these topics.

But to make things worse, what OP described, clearly happened many years ago. Bringing up ancient stuff like that, making serious faces and having serious discussions about what a person did when they were 7 and then telling parents (wtf?) and a therapist is just comically bad idea.

Something tells me that OP wasn't really contemplating suicide over what his/her sister did ages ago.

It was not. While they are adults they should speak to their therapist about it. This kind of sexual related things SHOULD be taken seriously, and to suggest otherwise is wrong due to the impact these things have on people as they grow up.

They were sexually abused, while thankfully it didn't become physical it was still problematic and effects them even now. Society should be heavy on these kinds of topics as sexual abuse(which is what this was) is undeniably harmful on children.

Gays are persecuted thanks to religion, people are mocked for foot fetishes because people seem it as unordinary. However, people who discuss and engage in these things are adults.
This is hardly the same situation and the comparison is simply inaccurate because of the age difference. These two weren't adults at the time, the OP admitted they didn't even know what was going on at that age. These were two children. One being the victim of their sister's actions, and the other likely a victim themselves.

Yeah its my fault, I regret not having understood that this had happened in the past, I thought that until today they continued to present similar behaviors (I dont speak very well English), but I still maintain that if it is something that bothers you today and that makes you feel some anguish or makes you uncomfortable, it is pertinent to talk about it with a therapist, because anyone in their childhood would be affected in many aspects. in psychology it is said that if any situation, in this case a memory, makes you uncomfortable, you have to talk about it.




If it is posted in the section of the forum where suicide is discussed, I inferred that this is why it publishes this story. If it is not so, it should be in offtopic or some other section, I think.

Don't apologize, you was in the right. As you stated if they are still thinking about this even now they should talk about it. For all we know they might not be the only one holding this baggage. What if their sister regrets these actions? What if she has been through something that causes her to behave this way? We don't know but OP should discuss it with at least their therapist.
This wasn't normal behavior, and it needs to be talked about. I feel sorry for the OP.

 

[CatLove56]

Hey friend, what she did was very wrong and creepy. I'm sorry you endured this.

I haven't really talked about this much, but I'll share for the sake of empathy. When I was 5 my brother who was 8 came in the room took out his penis and asked me if would put my mouth on it. I didn't know how to react and I was weirded out and confused. I didn't do it. It felt wrong, gross, and scary. He told me he would hurt me if I told, so I never did.

Yeah he was being abused

 

[Insomniac]

young children are prone to doing shit like that if responsible adults don't teach them not to.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I think it's normal . Very common experience for children.

I had girls proposing sexual encounters from I believe the 2nd grade (god knows what they thought I would be able to do with it ?)

Most people will grow out of the childish curiosity

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

do i have the right to be weirded out by this?

Yes.

should i bother discussing this with my therapist?

Yes.