Venting Turned 21 today :,)

[fficiallyjawshh]

I never wanted to make it to 21 . Yet here I am with my friends and family to remind me . They know I don't like my birthday they just don't know why . I'm such a failure of a human being and an disappointment to everyone around me . Though they wouldn't say it, I know there's truth in it . Hoping on ending it soon bc the level of depression that hit when the clock hit 12 was insane . This day is as dreadful and sad as I had imagined it to be .

This is honestly pointless for me to type but just in the off chance my family sees it once I've passed then why not .

 

[Oyoy]

I am so sorry it's not everything you want
it to be.
Juxt in case I want to say

Scooby dooby Doo happy birthday to you

 

[fficiallyjawshh]

I am so sorry it's not everything you want
it to be.
Juxt in case I want to say

Scooby dooby Doo happy birthday to you

I forgot that people would potentially wish my happy birthday whoops, thanks so much though haha

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I forgot that people would potentially wish my happy birthday whoops, thanks so much though haha

Well then....


FUCK YOUR BIRTHDAY! FUCK THAT FUCKING SHIT!

 

[Darkhaven]

Same age i started to get suicidal...
Almost 2 years ago.

 

[Donk]

I never wanted to make it to 21 . Yet here I am with my friends and family to remind me . They know I don't like my birthday they just don't know why . I'm such a failure of a human being and an disappointment to everyone around me . Though they wouldn't say it, I know there's truth in it . Hoping on ending it soon bc the level of depression that hit when the clock hit 12 was insane . This day is as dreadful and sad as I had imagined it to be .

This is honestly pointless for me to type but just in the off chance my family sees it once I've passed then why not .

maybe its better to leave a note to your family.

 

[nerve]

Birthdays are tough for me too. They haven't been pleasant for a few years now, just reminders of how little I've grown over the last 12 months. It's suffocating.

But I still hope this perfectly normal and mundane day turns out alright for you.

 

[Forgiveme]

Well, i have only 3 months till i (hopefully won't) turn 21. I was also thinking about ctbing on my birthday but i would rather be dead sooner Anyway, so sorry for you that you made it to year that you didn't want to...

 

[fficiallyjawshh]

Thanks a ton. It's no ones fault but my own which sucks but I hope I actually go

Well then....


FUCK YOUR BIRTHDAY! FUCK THAT FUCKING SHIT!

Well, i have only 3 months till i (hopefully won't) turn 21. I was also thinking about ctbing on my birthday but i would rather be dead sooner❤ Anyway, so sorry for you that you made it to year that you didn't want to...

Throu

maybe its better to leave a note to your family.

Thinking about it tbh . I dunno . I wish I wasn't an over thinker . I'm overthinking shit even when I'm planning my death, it's exhausting .

View attachment 31006

Birthdays are tough for me too. They haven't been pleasant for a few years now, just reminders of how little I've grown over the last 12 months. It's suffocating.

But I still hope this perfectly normal and mundane day turns out alright for you.

The picture made me smile haha . But I agree exactly . How little I've grown and how it's a reminder that I've essentially made no progress . It's sad .

Well, i have only 3 months till i (hopefully won't) turn 21. I was also thinking about ctbing on my birthday but i would rather be dead sooner❤ Anyway, so sorry for you that you made it to year that you didn't want to...

Good luck my love on whatever you decide . Before, on or after your birthday . Make sure you don't die sad <3

Same age i started to get suicidal...
Almost 2 years ago.

How do you hold up nowadays ?

 

[Squiddy]

Happy birthday even though it's not very happy. I know how you feel though. I would've loved to ctb on my 21st. Turning 22 this year.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I wish you could have a Happy Birthday.

 

[fficiallyjawshh]

Happy birthday even though it's not very happy. I know how you feel though. I would've loved to ctb on my 21st. Turning 22 this year.

Your still on the website so do you plan on ctb on your 22nd ?

 

[Squiddy]

Your still on the website so do you plan on ctb on your 22nd ?

I'd love to, but there are obstacles in my way. My fear of there being a hell after I die and my parents reaction to my death