Wreck-it-Riley

Wreck-it-Riley

My demon will see me undone
Oct 20, 2019
269
So i have a venting blog, and tumblr has a large community for people with my mental issues (BPD, OCD, Bipolar, C-PTSD) I posted about a rape flashback and explaimed how i wish he had killed me like he said he would. And its my vent blog for years, so like, 5,800+ posts about suicide, depression and self harm.

Then, tonight i get this email. and 10 minutes later, the police are walking themselves into my house. They even straight up said "You have been making some concerning posts on tumblr this evening and we were notified" I told them in no minced words to fuck off and stay the hell away from my house. the police in this city are extremely abusive and transphobic, and i wasnt dressed when they came in.
 

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stellabelle

stellabelle

ethereal
Dec 14, 2018
3,919
This made me look over my shoulder. Seriously.
 
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M

Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
Ha I used to be kinda tumblr famous like 10 years ago for my writing and posted rough drafts of a book I was writing. I'd get messages from people thinking it was my real thoughts. Good thing tumblr weren't the thought police back then.

that sucks for you. Like are we free to vent anywhere without worries of repercussions?
 
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Wreck-it-Riley

Wreck-it-Riley

My demon will see me undone
Oct 20, 2019
269
Tumblr was my outlet when i didnt have the energy to do more than move my thumb and stare at walls. Besides here, its the only reason i have internet. Guess i can save a bill payment every month
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,819
I have never really posted much on social media and the only social media I have are twitter, discord, facebook, in which any of those, I refrain from posting anything that could be deemed 'concerning', 'dangerous', or potential to get into trouble. I'm sorry to hear about what happened and it sucks that there is simply (almost) no space place to be 100% genuine and honest about your thoughts. It's scary to see how far many social media places and forums around the Internet as a whole has basically become a witch hunt for wrong-think, unpopular, politically incorrect, and even concerning posts. Furthermore, the superficial and patronizing tone of voice that these platforms use is really annoying and rage inducing, treating people as if they are children or even victims that need to be saved.

I don't believe there really is a place to really be 100% honest about your true thoughts, especially about self harm, suicide, death, except here. This is one of the few places (if not the only one) that allows uncensored dialogue about topics of suicide, self harm, death, and also has resources for methods should a person decide to CTB.
 
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BlueWidow

BlueWidow

Visionary
Oct 6, 2019
2,179
I'm so sorry that happened. That is really messed up! I don't have any social media accounts and this is part of the reason why.
It said on there that someone was concerned for your safety. I'm going to assume they don't tell you who the person was who was concerned, do they?
The whole world seems to be turning into a police state.
Anyway, I'm sorry that happened to you and I hope the police leave you alone from now on.
 
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Wreck-it-Riley

Wreck-it-Riley

My demon will see me undone
Oct 20, 2019
269
It hasnt told me who it was but im sure i have an idea. This just signals my speedy departure from the internet, and the risks it entails, further isolating me.

Tumblr was how i saw things related to my religion, depression and illnesses. It sort of aggregated everything together for me so nothing got stale. Just meme style images but it was relateable and though we never talked, there was a good group of us who just seemed to get each other. So much of my communication with one of my 2 friends was through there. I feel this as a big loss, and a huge violation. If anything, this just pushes me closer to the end.
 
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Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
Ive had many a posts on social media reported apparently concerned for me but thank fully no visits!!
I blog about thing's that have happened, why report a post that's written a while back, I may feel different now! its silly it really is
 
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woxihuanni

woxihuanni

Illuminated
Aug 19, 2019
3,299
What brainless worms don't understand is that if somebody is standing at the edge of a cliff and this makes you 'concerned', pushing them is not a good idea.

Maybe it is a blindness that comes of insatiable hunger to control others, the inability to understand that the entire control game is up when somebody is ready to die. Partly because THEY would not have the guts, and see it as a bluffing move in a game. Otherwise it is difficult to believe anybody is stupid enough to think police dragging you from your home to lock you up will actually stop you from dying.
 
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BlueWidow

BlueWidow

Visionary
Oct 6, 2019
2,179
It hasnt told me who it was but im sure i have an idea. This just signals my speedy departure from the internet, and the risks it entails, further isolating me.

Tumblr was how i saw things related to my religion, depression and illnesses. It sort of aggregated everything together for me so nothing got stale. Just meme style images but it was relateable and though we never talked, there was a good group of us who just seemed to get each other. So much of my communication with one of my 2 friends was through there. I feel this as a big loss, and a huge violation. If anything, this just pushes me closer to the end.
Yes, and that's why it's so aggravating to me.
It's not fair that someone can take away yet one more outlet from someone who is already isolated. As you say above, it's a huge loss and a big violation. I would feel the same way and I would be very angry that someone was taking one of the few means I had of expressing myself to the world away because they can't keep from sticking their nose into my business, which is none of their business. If you weren't asking for help, then you probably didn't want any help, so who is this person to presume something and try to send you help when you don't want it and didn't ask for it?
I think this kind of thing irritates me because when I was younger, way before the Internet, I lived next-door to the town gossip in a very small town and my family was very dysfunctional. The woman next-door was constantly calling the police for things that were none of her business and when it wasn't warranted, and then, because it was a small town, it would be all over town in a short amount of time that the police had been to our house and people would be asking us questions about it, like anything that happened at our house was any of their business. This is kind of a similar thing where someone sees something and maybe misinterprets what it is and tries to interfere with it when, again, it's none of their business. And, of course, the Internet has made that kind of thing easier because everyone can remain anonymous so they don't have to face the consequences if they were wrong, or if they made somebody's situation worse.
There are some people who, I guess because they have no lives of their own, spend their time interfering in everyone else's life.
Anyway, as I said before, I'm sorry that this means of expression has been taken away from you. I hope you at least can feel free to express yourself here. Like any other forum, this place has its share of jerks I suppose, but for the most part I've found people here to be very understanding and kind. I hope you find what you're looking for here.
For me personally, this place has been a godsend. Mostly because I found a method that I think is going finally allow me to relatively peacefully ctb with the least amount of chance of failure that I've ever had.
But also, there have been people here who have shown much more understanding, consideration, and kindness to me than people IRL have and there are also several members on here who are very funny and have very wicked senses of humor and have made me laugh more than I've laughed in quite a long time.
I wish you peace. :heart:
 
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Stan

Stan

Factoid Hunter
Aug 29, 2019
2,589
I have said this more than once, some academic really needs to do a study on the therapeutic value of having a place where you can truly vent about your mental state without fear of being judged. having some 'authority' come down on you like that makes a bad situation worse, especially if they are not trained or have one ounce of empathy for where you are or how you are feeling.
 
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passenger27

passenger27

In my beginning is my end.
Aug 25, 2019
642
This is totally ridiculous. I don't know why the Gestapo feels the need to "rescue" a person from themselves.

The world is way too overpopulated with 7 billion and counting. The authorities should be delighted if a person wants to ctb, it makes more room for people who actually want to be here.

At least there's this site. It's the toilet paper in an otherwise shitty world.
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
You can't pay taxes if you're dead. That's what most of it boils down to, money.
 
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WhiteDespair

WhiteDespair

The Temporary Problem is Life
Oct 24, 2019
837
It would be amusing if this behavior actually violated laws or statutes.
 
bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
this shit is why I stay away from posting on social media. all I do is lurk.
 
Wreck-it-Riley

Wreck-it-Riley

My demon will see me undone
Oct 20, 2019
269
I woke up and really felt the loss.

2 people have my phone number. Just 2. They are both good at texting, but also have busy lives. I didnt talk to people but the endless scrolling felt like i wasnt alone. It just hurts a lot.

I never posted personal information, but i did a ton of research and the only time i ever gave my address was 2 years ago. In a chat with somebody in my local area who found my blog. we both smoked weed at the time and were planning on watching Dr. Who together. they logged an address from 2 years ago and used it to inform police.

This has me up to my nipples in deleting myself from the net entirely. I have a password manager i used to keep track of everything i have ever signed up for and now i get to use it to delete it all! MUWAHAHAHA Burn it to the ground.
 
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BridgeJumper

BridgeJumper

The Arsonist
Apr 7, 2019
1,194
Oh yes, the do gooders that try to 'help' you even though you dont even want it
 
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PDAnnie2610

Waiting for my bus.
Oct 27, 2019
701
Some of the do gooders are forced to, by law. Apparently anyone who works as a medical professional, with the vulnerable, or is a teacher, firefighter, mental health professional can lose license to practise if they fail to report a known suicidal person to the authorities (in some countries). So let's not blame people for doing their job.

I've learnt to zip up if I really want to off myself.
 
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WhiteDespair

WhiteDespair

The Temporary Problem is Life
Oct 24, 2019
837
If I really wanted to be a jackass I'd start posting about how I going to enjoy my vacation for a few weeks, say I'm leaving while giving all the necessary information (hotel, locations, etc.) and then announce CtB on social media.
 
BrokenAngel8

BrokenAngel8

I'm so lonely, broken angel
Nov 7, 2019
58
People are afraid of something they don't understand. And this society where we live in, surely far from understanding mental issues. A friend of mine who is an illustrator, made a disturbing illustration with vague caption. Someone report her post and her account was taken down. Jokes on you sir (or whoever reported her), she's on medication, her psychiatrist is in check with her, and art was her coping mechanism. I am terribly sorry for what you've been through. I wish you all the best.
 
cowbain

cowbain

teach me empathy
Jul 16, 2019
143
When you don't want or need help everyone wants to "help" but then when you truly need help no ones there. This world is so sick and twisted.
 
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Throwawaysoul

Throwawaysoul

Wizard
May 14, 2018
606
I'm sorry this happened to you. BUT remember this...

VERIZON OWNS TUMBLR

Please use a vpn for all things regarding cbt.
 
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,819
@Wreck-it-Riley If it was me, I would absolutely just delete all traces of social media and go offline. Also, if someone done that to me, I'd even make sure to CTB partly out of spite, but also due to my disgust of how society treats the suicidal (like children, animals, criminals). I vowed not to support a society that does not respect the most fundamental right/choice, which is the choice to decide one's own fate and seeks to control when/where/how one is supposed to live.

It sucks that the authorities would not reveal who sent the report (which would make it difficult to take action against the informant/rat/snitch) and somehow that police are able to violate your privacy and rights over some stupid social media post. It's basically like legalized stalking and harassment, yet if someone decide to stalk or harass another person, it's considered illegal. It is such a clown world out there.
 
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charlie_z

charlie_z

Student
Apr 30, 2018
184
I have said this more than once, some academic really needs to do a study on the therapeutic value of having a place where you can truly vent about your mental state without fear of being judged
Absolutely. I would even go as far as saying that programs, like the one you're describing, should offer a number of services, one being that if an individual is committed to CBTing, the care team ought to provide sessions or talks on best methods, how to prepare in order to mitigate fear, and make a place available for easy transitioning.
 
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Wreck-it-Riley

Wreck-it-Riley

My demon will see me undone
Oct 20, 2019
269
I'm sorry this happened to you. BUT remember this...

VERIZON OWNS TUMBLR

Please use a vpn for all things regarding cbt.
They actually sold it a couple months ago to wordpress, at a 1.08 billion dollar loss. they sold it for a mere 3 million. Porn ban screwed them. Or Apple did, depends on how you want to look at it.
@Wreck-it-Riley If it was me, I would absolutely just delete all traces of social media and go offline. Also, if someone done that to me, I'd even make sure to CTB partly out of spite, but also due to my disgust of how society treats the suicidal (like children, animals, criminals). I vowed not to support a society that does not respect the most fundamental right/choice, which is the choice to decide one's own fate and seeks to control when/where/how one is supposed to live.

It sucks that the authorities would not reveal who sent the report (which would make it difficult to take action against the informant/rat/snitch) and somehow that police are able to violate your privacy and rights over some stupid social media post. It's basically like legalized stalking and harassment, yet if someone decide to stalk or harass another person, it's considered illegal. It is such a clown world out there.
I am going to ground as it were. I have my SN on the way now. but most of all im upset by how they came to decide i was a threat to myself. like, i have been posting depression, suicide, sadness, long rants about my flashbacks, all of it. for years. and NOW im a danger to myself? and who gave them that responsibility? i never asked.
 
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Throwawaysoul

Throwawaysoul

Wizard
May 14, 2018
606
They actually sold it a couple months ago to wordpress, at a 1.08 billion dollar loss. they sold it for a mere 3 million. Porn ban screwed them. Or Apple did, depends on how you want to look at it.


I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can't trust mainstream corporate owned social media.
 
RestingGirl23

RestingGirl23

Member
Nov 2, 2019
55
That sucks. I was about to ask how they found you but I saw that someone mentioned that tumblr is owned by Verizon.

I'm still curious on how exactly they can find you. I know your ip address says what country you are and your general location but it's creepy that they know where you live.
 
Nem

Nem

Drs suck mega ass!
Sep 3, 2018
1,489
That sounds shitty, sorry to hear that!
Peace/hugs
 
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L

LMFAO FOCKERS

Lost in Aokigahara
May 26, 2019
528
That sucks. I was about to ask how they found you but I saw that someone mentioned that tumblr is owned by Verizon.

I'm still curious on how exactly they can find you. I know your ip address says what country you are and your general location but it's creepy that they know where you live.

If you are using private cable wifi they can track your node through that.

If its a cell even better more information is exchanged through the companies. None of these wireless companies keep their data private from authorities. Its even worse if you use google.
 
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D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,107
So i have a venting blog, and tumblr has a large community for people with my mental issues (BPD, OCD, Bipolar, C-PTSD) I posted about a rape flashback and explaimed how i wish he had killed me like he said he would. And its my vent blog for years, so like, 5,800+ posts about suicide, depression and self harm.

Then, tonight i get this email. and 10 minutes later, the police are walking themselves into my house. They even straight up said "You have been making some concerning posts on tumblr this evening and we were notified" I told them in no minced words to fuck off and stay the hell away from my house. the police in this city are extremely abusive and transphobic, and i wasnt dressed when they came in.
Riley one night over a year ago I was wakened at 1am by 2 uniformed police who claimed that I had been on a chat site that very night, threatening to kill myself. Big surprise to me. I did not have a computer at the time. Never did find out who the idiot was who made such a ridiculous claim, and the cops were so surprised at my demeanour, they rechecked the address on my door, checked my ID, apologized profusely and left. I still get chills when I bring back that memory. My son and I did not sleep that night. It reminded of the late night knock on the door when people are whisked away without any right of redress. Bloody frightening. Other than a deep chill I became compelled to look for sites like this one, and voila, here we are. Silver lining to every cloud. Hang in hon. You are the important one, no one else. Oh, and if the authorities want to waste resources they can go right ahead...
 
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