Trying to gain courage

[suicidalstrawbabie]

I have a pair of socks bunched up on the sides of my neck, a slip knot in place, tied around my locked door. Nobody's home. Trying to gain courage. It's hard sometimes.
I have SI. :( felt very good and straight forward driving to the store, buying rope and ratchet straps, coming back and getting ready. Now anxious.

 

[person123]

It's normal, hanging is not a walk in the park.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

It's normal to feel anxious and afraid.

Don't ever forget that you have the decision of backing out. Even just for now. Nobody is going to judge you for that and if they do, they're an arsehole!

If you need to talk to somebody, feel free to send me a PM. I reply as soon as I can...

Sending love and light in your direction. x

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

If suicide is your choice, then I offer the suggestion of getting comfortable with the method by periodically and progressively interacting with it, without immediate intent, in order to get comfortable with it.

Steps like having the objects around to normalize them, touching them, placing them on different parts of your body, placing them where you would in an actual attempt, etc., and noticing and acknowledging without condemnation whatever you feel.

When your emotions are less charged and you are comfortable, you can progress to the next step, and at last attempt when you feel calm and confident in what you are doing, and okay with whatever outcome, whether it succeeds or does not. This will help to have an experience in which you feel in control rather than frightened, pressured, or anxious.

 

[suicidalstrawbabie]

If suicide is your choice, then I offer the suggestion of getting comfortable with the method by periodically and progressively interacting with it, without immediate intent, in order to get comfortable with it.

Steps like having the objects around to normalize them, touching them, placing them on different parts of your body, placing them where you would in an actual attempt, etc., and noticing and acknowledging without condemnation whatever you feel.

When your emotions are less charged and you are comfortable, you can progress to the next step, and at last attempt when you feel calm and confident in what you are doing, and okay with whatever outcome, whether it succeeds or does not. This will help to have an experience in which you feel in control rather than frightened, pressured, or anxious.

I think this is really good advice. Thank you.

 

[Heart Shards]

We're hardwired to survive and reproduce. Self-preservation is not a friendly fellow when you want to exit. Go when you're ready, on your consent. If you're not ready, you can wait and hangout with us on SS.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I have a pair of socks bunched up on the sides of my neck, a slip knot in place, tied around my locked door. Nobody's home. Trying to gain courage. It's hard sometimes.
I have SI. :( felt very good and straight forward driving to the store, buying rope and ratchet straps, coming back and getting ready. Now anxious.

I'll put it this way.
I don't like to over-generalise things but this seems to have some truth in it:

If a suicide is right for you, you won't have second thoughts about it.
Otherwise you shouldn't commit suicide because it isn't right for you.

 

[suicidalstrawbabie]

I'll put it this way.
I don't like to over-generalise things but this seems to have some truth in it:

If a suicide is right for you, you will not have second thought about it.
Otherwise you shouldn't commit suicide because it isn't right for you.

It's right for me with no second thought until it's about to happen because of natural survival instincts, it's just human

 

[KleinerWolf]

It's right for me with no second thought until it's about to happen because of natural survival instincts, it's just human

I trust you for having considered this thoroughly, assuming this is what you wanted.
You are still welcome to PM me anytime if you ever feel like talking about anything specific that bothers you.
I'm here for you.

 

[ColdenHaulfield]

We're hardwired to survive and reproduce. Self-preservation is not a friendly fellow when you want to exit. Go when you're ready, on your consent. If you're not ready, you can wait and hangout with us on SS.

This is amazingly good advice. Being in the company of people who can relate to your pain (even though everyone's pain has different causes, manifestations, and levels of intensity) and who won't judge you for decisions you make - or the doubts you may have - can be very comforting while you're trying to decide what's right for you. I hope that simply being a member of this site will bring you at least a little relief, as it has for me, from the pain you must be feeling.

 

[ebt88]

Maybe you could take some drug to help with the anxiety? Maybe you can try a different method

 

[SoIntoYou]

Have you heard of the SN method? It could be a better option.

 

[suicidalstrawbabie]

Have you heard of the SN method? It could be a better option.

I 100% prefer SN however I live in Canada where it basically JUST became illegal to order it and I don't want the hassle of ordering dark web.

 

[SterileMoth]

I 100% prefer SN however I live in Canada where it basically JUST became illegal to order it and I don't want the hassle of ordering dark web.

You've got to be kidding me. Did it really become illegal? Fuck, I was gonna start looking around for it.