Help Trying not to be impulsive

[GrumpyFrog]

Hey guys. Would appreciate advice or help.

Logically, I realize that trying to CTB impulsively is extremely risky. I've done it before, with awful consequences, my extremely distressed state and lack of proper preparation were the reason I not only failed but also did permanent damage to my body. And I am well informed and properly horrified of how it could've gone even worse.

Yet I don't know how to drag myself to the point when I will be adequately prepared. I will need not only to survive, but to hold a job and make money necessary to buy proper damn supplies. And I need to calm myself down enough to think clearly and make a good plan this time. Ideally, I would also like to have at least one relatively nice day before I go, but that's more me being picky, I know.

How do you make it to the point when it would be more reliable to try to CTB? Maybe someone can share advice from their personal experience?

 

[zeroshark]

im not sure in what sense youre using "impulsively" here; are you describing trying to CTB on impulse despite not having thought it through thoroughly and being certain its what you truly want, or impulsively using an option to CTB you know is likely to fail because nothing better is available? for the record, im not advising this, just asking if youve explored your options if its the latter--have you looked at the partners megathread at all? plenty of people there with the means to CTB readily available to them and just looking for someone to share them with.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

im not sure in what sense youre using "impulsively" here; are you describing trying to CTB on impulse despite not having thought it through thoroughly and being certain its what you truly want, or impulsively using an option to CTB you know is likely to fail because nothing better is available?

I guess it a little bit of both, but mostly the latter - having an impulse to use whatever is available right at this moment, even though it is unreliable.

for the record, im not advising this, just asking if youve explored your options if its the latter--have you looked at the partners megathread at all? plenty of people there with the means to CTB readily available to them and just looking for someone to share them with.

I guess I assumed partners megathread was a sort of a "bring your own poison" affair, where people were just looking for company for their last moments. I'll look into it a little more now, thank you for the suggestion!