Venting Trying Not to Act on Impulse

[Hunterer]

This idea has been going around in my head for a few days now. I've been seriously thinking about jumping off a bridge into a river while I'm sedated by medication. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Loneliness is destroying me, family problems, failures, everything. I really want to wait until I can get SN but I feel like I won't be able to. I just want to get this damn pain I'm feeling over with. From the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep, I continue to feel bad almost always, no matter what. The only time I don't feel bad is when I'm sleeping, but I can't sleep all day. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like my mind is going to explode.

 

[SVEN]

Doesn't help, however I do hope you find some rest and peace.

 

[Hunterer]

Doesn't help, however I do hope you find some rest and peace.

Thank you, I hope so too.

 

[Adûnâi]

Thanks to you I've randomly found the cruel SN thread, it does sound yucky, do you have a bridge high enough? Have you decided to risk SN anyway? I wonder what it feels like, it's not like we have proper tests...

 

[Hunterer]

Thanks to you I've randomly found the cruel SN thread, it does sound yucky, do you have a bridge high enough? Have you decided to risk SN anyway? I wonder what it feels like, it's not like we have proper tests...

I couldn't find any official information about the bridge on the internet, but I'd say it's at least 6-8 meters high, but that's just my guess. Anyway, I managed to calm down and I'm going to try not to act on impulse, because if I do, there's a chance it could go wrong. I'm going to wait a little longer until I get the SN, even though the idea of jumping is very tempting ngl.

Furthermore, I think it's worth the risk to use SN at the right time. I believe that something will only go wrong if the regimen/protocol is not followed correctly and if the person calls for help. And even if the person is rescued by someone, as far as I know, SN does not cause permanent damage, and if it does, I believe it's nothing compared to other methods, where you can turn into a vegetable or worse. Anyway, maybe I'm wrong, but I'll take the risk when the time comes.