Trying a different ctb method because I chickened out

[DimaD]

A few months ago, I tried to ctb with hanging myself but I could not do it. Not because I changed my mind and did not want to die but because I chickened out.

I go to vocational school, so I do not earn money but I have some in my wallet.
At first I wanted to ctb with the Exit bag but that would have been quite expensive for my budget. Then I tried it with hanging myself.

Now I found a new method. I want to ctb with SN. Its much cheaper, at least where I am from and easier. I researched everything I need to know and need. I have all the sources I need, to proceed the ctb method. I just need to acquire them.
I want to do it in the middle or end of May. I didn´t lose my will to die. And I will not give up, till it will work and I can finally rest and leave this shitty life of mine.

I just wanted to get this off my chest.

 

[spypilot896]

wish u the best of luck

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand just wanting to rest, I just want to be free from all the suffering of existing as well, I hope you find the peace you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[Halfhourdays]

A few months ago, I tried to ctb with hanging myself but I could not do it. Not because I changed my mind and did not want to die but because I chickened out.

I go to vocational school, so I do not earn money but I have some in my wallet.
At first I wanted to ctb with the Exit bag but that would have been quite expensive for my budget. Then I tried it with hanging myself.

Now I found a new method. I want to ctb with SN. Its much cheaper, at least where I am from and easier. I researched everything I need to know and need. I have all the sources I need, to proceed the ctb method. I just need to acquire them.
I want to do it in the middle or end of May. I didn´t lose my will to die. And I will not give up, till it will work and I can finally rest and leave this shitty life of mine.

I just wanted to get this off my chest.

I can't hang myself, either. SI kicks in too strongly.

 

[carlbot]

I can't hang myself, either. SI kicks in too strongly.

That's the main issue I'm facing, I'm sure I want to do full-suspension hanging but I just don't think my SI will let me do it.

 

[Halfhourdays]

That's the main issue I'm facing, I'm sure I want to do full-suspension hanging but I just don't think my SI will let me do it.

so since you can't do hanging, what's your method?

 

[carlbot]

so since you can't do hanging, what's your method?

Honestly no idea, that's what I'm so stumped about. I've spent hours on this forum trying to find the right method, I want one where it's not necessarily painful and ideally as quick as possible.

Hanging is the only option I can see, SN and others like that are out of reach due to my location, my worst case scenario method is a train but I just think I'll feel too much pre-guilt to be able to do it.

 

[Halfhourdays]

Honestly no idea, that's what I'm so stumped about. I've spent hours on this forum trying to find the right method, I want one where it's not necessarily painful and ideally as quick as possible.

Hanging is the only option I can see, SN and others like that are out of reach due to my location, my worst case scenario method is a train but I just think I'll feel too much pre-guilt to be able to do it.

I sympathize with you. Alt suicide holiday had many methods. This website is something of a disappointment.

Exit bags are awesome but I lack the technical knowledge to build one.

Charcoal is perfect but my house lacks the necessary privacy.

But where there's a will there's a way. I'll figure it out.

 

[carlbot]

I sympathize with you. Alt suicide holiday had many methods. This website is something of a disappointment.

Exit bags are awesome but I lack the technical knowledge to build one.

Charcoal is perfect but my house lacks the necessary privacy.

But where there's a will there's a way. I'll figure it out.

I relate with all your points there. Honestly it's such a pain that there isn't just a simple method, as you said; "where there's a will there's a way. I'll figure it out".

 

[Halfhourdays]

I relate with all your points there. Honestly it's such a pain that there isn't just a simple method, as you said; "where there's a will there's a way. I'll figure it out".

I'd be interested in the detergent method. Do you happen to have a link to the recipe?

 

[carlbot]

I don't have an exact link, however if you take a look at the earliest posts (since most are methods instead of the latest method discussions).
Here's a link, used the filter to get the top viewed under the method tag;
Methods by view count