Venting Trouble in paradise

[squillykilly]

I've been having a hard time with my girlfriend, I wish she would just like.. listen to me. Basically, she deals with a lot of mental health issues, it seems like BPD but we won't assume. It's been pretty hard on me and everytime I tell her that she needs therapy, she just says "I won't tell you anything anymore" like I'm not saying don't vent to me, I'm saying you need REAL help.
She had a breakdown last night cuz her best friend was mad at her for talking to a guy he doesn't like, and her initial solution was to quite literally disappear off the face of the earth without telling anyone. That's not okay. What if we have a small argument and she just disappears from my life y'know? It feels really unfair and it's been weighing on me lately.
I definitely feel like that one image where the guy is like "I can fix her!" And then he ends up just as bad as her

 

[monetpompo]

everytime I tell her that she needs therapy, she just says "I won't tell you anything anymore" like I'm not saying don't vent to me, I'm saying you need REAL help.

responding to this as someone with bpd tendencies. therapy is stigmatized and she probably feels like a burden or like she's annoying you by you saying she needs therapy, instead of you pointing out the severity of her problems. i've been told to seek therapy a lot but i've made it clear that i just can't seek it if i don't have money and my insurance doesn't cover it. i've cut people off for telling me to get therapy even though i know they mean well. it can be triggering to hear, because it's also invalidating.

her initial solution was to quite literally disappear off the face of the earth without telling anyone. That's not okay. What if we have a small argument and she just disappears from my life y'know? It feels really unfair and it's been weighing on me lately.

i'm also prone to thinking like this. i block people and tell them to go away, or ghost people frequently because i feel like they don't need me in their life or that i'm a burden. that's my thought process, anyway. it'll never be your fault if she disappears, because she's choosing to do that. if she does it multiple times then i wouldn't talk to her, because you shouldn't have to deal with that.

it may be bpd or something else. she probably isn't professionally diagnosed with anything. i feel bad for her but i also get why she thinks it's better to fall off the face of the earth and avoid the people that care about her. it seems easy to be forgotten about if you feel like you have no sense of self or like people can forget about you easily if they're already upset at you. i often stop responding to people's messages if i'm scared that i've upset them, or like i don't have any place in their life. i just don't feel like much of a person, even if i'm capable of being important to people.