Triggering Activities.

[Forever Sleep]

Do you have activities that trigger very strong: 'I f*cking hate life' dialogues in your head? Unfortunately, literally anything domestic tends to do it for me. Tidying up, cleaning, laundry, washing up, gardening. Not even music distracts me sufficiently. Maybe I should be grateful that not every activity in life produces such a strong response. It's so hard to make myself do stuff with all that going on though. I'm not even sure why I've picked up such a strong aversion to particular things. If I think about it, so much of life is just hard slog. Work is. Yet, even there, some things I find easier to tolerate than others.

I suppose I've always been pretty bad but now, I'm outright terrible. What do you do to make yourself do those things? Or, do you just not do them?!! I only really do the bare minimum. I neglect all that I can. It seems ridiculous really but, it feels unbearable in a way. Like when you see children throwing a tantrum because they don't want to do something. Inside, I'm like that spoilt bratty child.

I suppose I can (sometimes) convince myself to do certain unpleasant activities like exercise because I know they will make me feel better overall. The problem with domestic crap is, it's so short lived I find. In next to no time, it all needs repeating. So, there's no massive gain. Just constant work. Urghhhh. Sorry. Just needed to have a whining session to express it before I make myself return to it.

Do you ever wonder about the psychology of it? Maybe I hate it so much because it's dishonest or, it isn't authentic at least. I felt better about doing a spot of gardening for my parents. I think I hate doing it for me because it's not like I even want to live so, why should I care about dirty dishes etc? Plus, I don't enough I suppose. It's more the fear of other people witnessing how bad it is. I've tried to kid myself that I'm cleaning for someone else or, that it's my job to do it but, I'm not easily fooled.

 

[Namelesa]

Mostly stuff to do with washing myself for me cus of my autistic sensitivity issues. I hate the texture of soap on my body and the feeling of being clean in general for some reason. Washing hair is even worse for me cus I hate the feeling of water falling on my head and feeling of gooy shampoo on me. I just have to suffer and deal with it.

 

[Forveleth]

I do not have activities that affect my mood as such, for me it is more my mood affects how I view activities. I could love cleaning one weekend when I am in a good mood and the next week want to kill myself instead of cleaning the floors because I am in a bad mood. I do a few things to cope:

• Make it "fun". I know this sounds lame, but make the activity fun. I have mopped the floors while dancing with the mop. I have played with the dish water while washing dishes (pouring it back and forth between various cups/bowls, etc). Doing chores does not have to be serious at all.
• Find a podcast. Chores are a great way to catch up on podcasts. I usually pop on my headphones and pick an episode of something to listen to while I clean. If the subject is interesting enough, I often do not really notice the cleaning until it is done.
• Or clean along with someone. Sometimes I put on videos from those channels that do the free cleanings of super destroyed houses. For some reason having on a video of someone else shoveling trash motivates me to put in a load of laundry. You feel like you are accomplishing something together.
• Allow yourself to take breaks. When I am super low, I have to take frequent breaks. I will sweep one room or do a few dishes and then have to sit for 30 minutes and recharge. Sometimes crying is involved. I feel like an idiot for having to do it but getting the house clean in 5 hours is better than it not getting done at all.
• Very important: Recognize the thought pattern. You say doing anything domestic triggers you and it is getting worse. At this point is it really the activity itself triggering you or is it that you have learned to associate housework with negative feelings? If you sit and think about putting in a load of laundry, is it really that bad or have you trained yourself to think it is bad after so many weeks/months/years? Most of the time, I have found I am closer to, as you said, acting like a small child over something I do not want to do. At that point, try to parent yourself. Sweep one room and then tell yourself "See? That was not so bad!" It can start to change your perception of housework or anything else you dread doing.

I am right there with you though on getting things done. Depression definitely makes doing anything difficult. Just remember to be gentle and reasonable with yourself.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I do not have activities that affect my mood as such, for me it is more my mood affects how I view activities. I could love cleaning one weekend when I am in a good mood and the next week want to kill myself instead of cleaning the floors because I am in a bad mood. I do a few things to cope:

• Make it "fun". I know this sounds lame, but make the activity fun. I have mopped the floors while dancing with the mop. I have played with the dish water while washing dishes (pouring it back and forth between various cups/bowls, etc). Doing chores does not have to be serious at all.
• Find a podcast. Chores are a great way to catch up on podcasts. I usually pop on my headphones and pick an episode of something to listen to while I clean. If the subject is interesting enough, I often do not really notice the cleaning until it is done.
• Or clean along with someone. Sometimes I put on videos from those channels that do the free cleanings of super destroyed houses. For some reason having on a video of someone else shoveling trash motivates me to put in a load of laundry. You feel like you are accomplishing something together.
• Allow yourself to take breaks. When I am super low, I have to take frequent breaks. I will sweep one room or do a few dishes and then have to sit for 30 minutes and recharge. Sometimes crying is involved. I feel like an idiot for having to do it but getting the house clean in 5 hours is better than it not getting done at all.
• Very important: Recognize the thought pattern. You say doing anything domestic triggers you and it is getting worse. At this point is it really the activity itself triggering you or is it that you have learned to associate housework with negative feelings? If you sit and think about putting in a load of laundry, is it really that bad or have you trained yourself to think it is bad after so many weeks/months/years? Most of the time, I have found I am closer to, as you said, acting like a small child over something I do not want to do. At that point, try to parent yourself. Sweep one room and then tell yourself "See? That was not so bad!" It can start to change your perception of housework or anything else you dread doing.

I am right there with you though on getting things done. Depression definitely makes doing anything difficult. Just remember to be gentle and reasonable with yourself.

Really good advice. Thank you. I loved the bit about 'playing' with the washing up. I used to love playing with water as a child.

I also take that view- that doing something slowy is better than doing nothing at all.

It's hard to know whether it is depression to be honest but then, I also recognise it isn't normal to be ok with living in squalor!

Thank you so much for your tips.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

Laundry can be a big trigger for me. I think because it's never ending. What I guess actually helps me is that the OCD in me won't let that kind of stuff slide.

Hearing about a planned big developmental project or long term goals like what Trump is doing financially for "the good of the future here," can get me started with a big "why bother" internal rant as I think climate change and other countries will just destroy this place and there will never actually be a need for those things. That inevitability leads to an " i hate life"rant

And the stupid little things can be the most triggering- like cutting my fingernails and toenails. Drives me freaking nuts. Shaving my legs, especially in cooler weather. They are all never ending , seem pointless as everything just grows back and yet it's like we have to do them anyway.

 

[Pluto]

 

[ConfusedClouds]

For me its more bigger picture stuff that I have no control over. I generally can bumble about day-to-day in my own bubble 'just doing' things ok enough. Its when I'm settled somewhere and reality begins to sink in where things I don't like 'just are'. And everyone around me seems to accept them.

I guess a big example here is people being won over by corporate marketing thinking that totally unnecessary stuff is the 'best thing ever'. Sort of a selfish judgement of others where I see it as greed. But then get in a spiral with myself because I live in the Western world and am just as bad, so am just a massive selfish hypocrite.

Also zero accountability of corporate world/leadership. Until its too late but by then they've taken their profits and long moved on.

Edit reread op and realise it was more specifically 'activities' that were asked for.

Shopping/being around shops seeing people mass buying shite or seeing queues at drivethrus. I guess being around the wider population rather than in my wee bubble at home or in the gym

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Brushing my teeth. More vulgar, taking a shit.

I'll gladly come be like Dobby from Harry Potter and do all your chores.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Brushing my teeth. More vulgar, taking a shit.

I'll gladly come be like Dobby from Harry Potter and do all your chores.

That would be wonderful! I'd love a house elf. Not that I agree with slavery though...