Venting Tried to join a dating app but...

[Architect]

Almost 9 months have passed since she decided to exclude me from her life. I perfectly understand why she started to ignore me , but I also keep blaming myself for being the usual socially awkward prick, even if she meant a lot to me.

I've been reading a lot of stories about people coming out of the same mindset that I'm in, and I've concluded that I should just accept my situation and maybe start to experiment with casual dating.
So I've joined this app, but I immediately felt a sense of repulsion for what I was doing... I'm not ready for this and I downright hate how the whole thing works and all the stupid social dynamics that you have to adhere to. It's just a stupid game.

I keep thinking about her, but I'm aware that I can't tell her how I feel. It's too damn obvious why.
I failed again. It's my fault, again.

I'm sick and tired of being alone. I'm so full of anger but I can only turn it on me.

I apologize for the cringy undertone of this ramble, but those thoughts are part of the interior monologue that has been consuming me during the last months.

If you care you could share your experience... or just talk about whatever you want to get off your chest right now... or just tell me about your day.

 

[Ko9]

Nah this is kinda how mental stuff and confuse-ment go together (at least for me it did). I remember being young and there was this girl who I projected a normal life onto and I did some really messed up stuff just because I didn't understand what ghosting was. More people must have been on a similar place. And if you do not want to play that game, that is fine dude. Take your time.

 

[not_a_robot]

I understand how intense the feelings are and have experienced the same misery, it literally takes me years to get over someone, but it's not real. It's just oxytocin poisoning, a hallucinogen. Like emotional LSD. All relationships, even the worst ones, begin with the same hallucinations. It's just to make you breed.

 

[HitchHiker]

Dating apps are the most vilest, toxic things on this planet. I hate them. The whole concept of online dating repulses me. It gives the self obsessed, and wanna be 'players' a platform to use and dispose of people like they don't matter.

I read somewhere it can take the equivalent of half the length of the marriage/relationship to recover from the break up. It's tough when you still love them.

Sending hugs

 

[Final Escape]

I tried dating app briefly and gave up because well I'm not in a good station in life. You should probably be not too old and have shit together before u try a dating app. They tend to be easier for women although not if you are an older woman. Men can have a tough time unless u are very attractive to opposite sex. My take away, for women I don't recommend if u are like 35 plus unless u are like really successful and gorgeous still. For men they can probably find women easily till like 40's maybe 50 depending on attractiveness and how financially stable. I've noticed men kind of struggle too as they hit older ages because then you're wondering if a woman just wants u for your money. The genuine sexual attraction fades for both sexes at a certain point.

 

[RainAndSadness]

I agree with the other members: don't use dating apps/websites. These places are extremely competitive. Like, this is the free market place when it comes to dating. And if you're not extremely handsome, rich or like, a 10/10 in general, you can absolutely dismiss these places. I'm transgender, I've used these apps both as "male" and "female", it's very unhealthy. Everything is extremely shallow and superficial in these apps and you get reduced to looks only. And these apps are designed in a way to make money. Don't do that to your self-confidence. There are other, better places to meet people without all the toxic components.

 

[desertdreamer]

Almost 9 months have passed since she decided to exclude me from her life. I perfectly understand why she started to ignore me , but I also keep blaming myself for being the usual socially awkward prick, even if she meant a lot to me.

I've been reading a lot of stories about people coming out of the same mindset that I'm in, and I've concluded that I should just accept my situation and maybe start to experiment with casual dating.
So I've joined this app, but I immediately felt a sense of repulsion for what I was doing... I'm not ready for this and I downright hate how the whole thing works and all the stupid social dynamics that you have to adhere to. It's just a stupid game.

I keep thinking about her, but I'm aware that I can't tell her how I feel. It's too damn obvious why.
I failed again. It's my fault, again.

I'm sick and tired of being alone. I'm so full of anger but I can only turn it on me.

I apologize for the cringy undertone of this ramble, but those thoughts are part of the interior monologue that has been consuming me during the last months.

If you care you could share your experience... or just talk about whatever you want to get off your chest right now... or just tell me about your day.

I'm sure your familiar with the phrase, "hurt people hurt people". We all know it's true. Personally, I don't think anyone considering what we are all considering on this site should be dating - both to protect others but also to protect yourself. No one should be worried about building a relationship unless they are feeling mentally, emotionally, and spiritually strong on their own. Anything else will just lead to a codependent relationship and all kinds of future problems. If your already struggling in life, the last thing you need are more problems.

 

[xXSarac3nSlay3rXx]

Dating apps are the most vilest, toxic things on this planet. I hate them. The whole concept of online dating repulses me. It gives the self obsessed, and wanna be 'players' a platform to use and dispose of people like they don't matter.

I read somewhere it can take the equivalent of half the length of the marriage/relationship to recover from the break up. It's tough when you still love them.

Sending hugs

Honestly, I just can't stand most forms of online socializing. I can't stand twitter, snapchat, tiktok, and all the other bullshit out there. It's so fucking insipid. One of the main problems with dating apps is that this kinda shit bleeds over. It seems like 1 out of every 3 dating profiles I view has a bunch of dumbass snapchat filters over the photos. What the hell is wrong with taking an unadulterated picture?

Moreover, the problem with dating apps is that it's all so detached. You don't have to muster up courage to swipe left or right on yoyr phone like you have to when approaching someone you like in the real world.

It just seems like human interaction is becoming increasingly cold. I rarely, if ever, call my friends on my phone because they always prefer to text. It's all completely devoid of meaningful interaction.

 

[Painted Bird]

I also agree with all the negative opinions about dating sites/apps. I hate them, I've seen them used by other people, including finding out that my stalker ex-gf was secretly using them while dating me. She got tons of messages from horny guys. It was sickening.

 

[cryptic_cynic]

Good for you for at least trying.

I've never even tried that sort of thing because I know that no one in their right mind would be interested in me.
All I have is excruciating loneliness to wallow in.

 

[_NoName_]

Dating apps are akin to a meat market; we're all judged on superficial level. Not something I'd recommendt o use,

 

[Cinnabun1112]

Good for you for at least trying.

I've never even tried that sort of thing because I know that no one in their right mind would be interested in me.
All I have is excruciating loneliness to wallow in.

You never know who may find interest in you. We are our own worst enemies and critics. Be aware of that.

 

[Alchemist]

Last time I tried tinder was while on vacation where I didn't knew anyone. Never got a single match. That's where I gave up with online dating, or any kinda of dating for that matter. It's easier to just accept that some people don't deserve love.

 

[WinterIsComing]

Apps...there was a story of a psychopath where the woman found the guy in an app, there is even a tv series "dirty john".
Somehow I think Apps are like a cesspool of sociopaths, narcissists and bpd.