princeseadove
wannabe angel
- Mar 4, 2025
- 89
To be honest I'm not sure what I was expecting. It's been two days since thay conversation and quite frankly I'm just upset. I can't text or call 988 because I don't have an American phone number, but I can turn on my VPN and properly chat. I tried chatting cuz, I wanted to see at least my options if I do want to recover, and needless to say it's really the same as I had thought. The first person who I talked to was actually really pleasant and I liked him but I got disconnected. The second person, was not. Just cut to the chase and whatever. The bulk of the conversation was her just asking me questions and not listening. At some point she did allow me to speak, and right after deadass sent me this questionnaire on like, my age gender and who did I hear 988 from and was somebody in my family in the military as if that fucking matters. I told her if she seriously gave me a demographic questionnaire but she didn't say anything. She told me there was nothing she could do asked what I was going to do, and I said drugs and then just ended the chat. I don't know what I was expecting. That teeny tiny part in my mind I think I was having hope that I would be able to talk to someone finally or that I can just. Find proper help. But yknow, I hardly ever have a good experience in any of this kinda shit and I don't think it's even possible. If you try and try and try and try and try and try. At some point, it's normal to just give up. I should really thank her, for making me realize how hopeless it really is for me. I don't have the money or anything for therapy or medication, so it's like I would be able to seek help. I can't even create a safety plan I don't have anything. I am totally alone and isolated and too difficult to help. That first conversation probably would have ended the same way anyways. There's nothing anyone can do. I can't fix myself alone.
