Tried Recovery - now I’m back

[Originaldon]

I posted a thread last week about how I got sectioned. For nothing really other than work finding out I was suicidal and finding my note (fair enough). The few weeks up until this point Id been doing okay. The week after this event I was actually doing really well, I was positive and not so depressed for the first time in a long time. I didn't have any suicidal thoughts I didn't even visit this site since the sectioning.

One week later the trauma is back. Back to square one. Diagnosed with PTSD yesterday. I don't know if I can go through it again.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

It sucks, man. I'm really sorry.
were they giving you medication? Why do you think it didn't work?…

 

[Originaldon]

No medication I was released after 24 hours and a ten minute assessment.
Wasn't particularly in a bad place when it happened. If anything it's brought the bad place back.

have been unable to sleep or eat since.

 

[Midgardsorm]

Did you think the ward were of any help?
I only read bad stories about psych wards

 

[Originaldon]

The staff were really nice and couldn't fault them at all. The doctor who came to evaluate me was a dickhead.

The ward itself is a horrendous place for anyone suffering from mental illness like myself. They are there to prevent you hurting yourself not make you feel better.

quite literally the opposite of what you want when your depressed in every way.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

The staff were really nice and couldn't fault them at all. The doctor who came to evaluate me was a dickhead.

The ward itself is a horrendous place for anyone suffering from mental illness like myself. They are there to prevent you hurting yourself not make you feel better.

quite literally the opposite of what you want when your depressed in every way.

That doesn't sound like recovery whatsoever…. I wish you would try something else. The experience you had wasn't what you really needed….

 

[Lost Magic]

I'm so sorry to hear. It can't be easy having to go through all that, feel good, and then feel like crap all over again. Mental illness is not nice.

 

[Midgardsorm]

Pretty much everything I heard. Plus being watched 24h, yelled when out of bed, stripped from any kind of tech, women being harassed, eventual physical aggression, overloads of medications and more ...

I guess we are really in danger just for being honest with our feelings.

 

[TriggerHappy]

awful they couldn't help you :: in the kingdom of the blind the one-eyed are kings :: did they not take you seriously? Why? They often don't if you're what they term 'malleable'.
when I was sectioned its coz sum1 crashed into my car (it was a classic sportscar, the only thing my fuckup father left me) and then went after them with my fists (yes I was high). I was a zombie for days, they weaned me off immediately when they found streetdrugs in my system. Then I was restrained(not in a fun way)& locked away in c.i (corrective intervention) for being difficult ('Rebellious' is what they labeled me) .don't ask. Meds aren't worth it... they can mess u up if u not vigilant. I'm a functional junkie with a masters in abuse.
I was a mess. You aren't.
♤You haven't lost your recovery
Them finding a note and trying to help u is cos you're fucking worthwhile.
I'm sharing my story so u can get perspective.
Yeah, it will definitely bring all the dark thoughts, willings/wanting back. That's being human.
Just maybe think about this (i don't do advice) :: maybe evaluate the changes in your life / everyone at work knowing is tricky... they will treat you like u retarded and maybe make u more desperateandempty.?. It will frustrate you, but you will figure it out. You're not the only person to re:enter life after a fuckup. Fuck em.
YOU'VE WORKED TOO HARD.
AGAIN, YOU HAVEN'T LOST ANYTHING even if it feels that way.
Be patient with yrself... its part of a reactionary process :: shit u gotta figure out.
XM!GS

 

[Originaldon]

Like I said I had a week of feeling positive with no particular suicidal thoughts and genuinely was committed to recovery.

you are obviously monitored when in there. They take all your possessions I was lucky to keep my phone and shoelaces. I was actually very calm and positive the whole time. The staff were looking at me like I had 2 heads as I was just totally normal. I shouldn't have been in there.
The reason I was in there was because work had found my note. I had not done anything whatsoever other than write a note. I was no immediate danger to myself. It was not that they didn't take me seriously as I wasn't actually there voluntarily. I wanted out ASAP.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering. I understand that it can be a hopeless feeling when recovery does not go the way you intend it to. I wish you well.