SleepyRobloxGrl
always sleeping
- Feb 22, 2023
- 85
People told me I'd feel better if I get a new job bc my other one was literally 12 hours a day all 365 days out of the year.
Got a new job making more money for working 1-3 hours a WEEK from home (I have more free time than I know what to do with - This is so many people's dream job but I am even more suicidal now).
Since my s/o and I are both making more money he thought it would help my mental health if we traveled to another state for the holidays.
We went hiking yesterday in beautiful mountains toward a waterfall. Gorgeous, but then what? I still feel the same. I want to die. Every time I looked over off a cliff, I just wanted to jump. But that's not my preferred method anyways.
I'm gonna go home in a week or two & then what? Same shit. I'll still be depressed and suicidal.
I've even been trying psychedelic mushrooms for a while to see if they'll help me at all. I've grown two ounces on my own so far & tried a couple trips but as soon as the trip is over, I'm suicidal again.
I've done all that and more. Everything I know of to help myself.
I think this might be the end of me trying to recover.
Got a new job making more money for working 1-3 hours a WEEK from home (I have more free time than I know what to do with - This is so many people's dream job but I am even more suicidal now).
Since my s/o and I are both making more money he thought it would help my mental health if we traveled to another state for the holidays.
We went hiking yesterday in beautiful mountains toward a waterfall. Gorgeous, but then what? I still feel the same. I want to die. Every time I looked over off a cliff, I just wanted to jump. But that's not my preferred method anyways.
I'm gonna go home in a week or two & then what? Same shit. I'll still be depressed and suicidal.
I've even been trying psychedelic mushrooms for a while to see if they'll help me at all. I've grown two ounces on my own so far & tried a couple trips but as soon as the trip is over, I'm suicidal again.
I've done all that and more. Everything I know of to help myself.
I think this might be the end of me trying to recover.