Discussion Trauma for others from death

[Sanguinius]

still struggling with this. Its stopping me in my tracks. I wish I could simply disappear

Mee too...

 

[TiredHorse]

I will jump at night and leave a lagged email ( https://www.timecave.com/timecave/) for the police to make sure that they'll find me.

Be careful, @Sanguinius : I used TimeCave for a delayed note to the local sheriff to come get my body. I failed, and went in to delete the note --and 30 minutes later the sheriff was at my door for a welfare check. TimeCave read my note and sent it to the sheriff. If I hadn't been quick on my mental feet, I'd have been sectioned:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/a-warning-about-timecave.7096/

I'm now using LetterMeLater, but I have no way to be sure it's any better.

 

[Xerxes]

I used this a lot when sending code over to other "people", you can also set it up on a timer too.
https://www.anonymousspeech.com/Default.aspx

 

[ReadyasEver]

I've been pondering this. Getting my family involved. My children already know I have 12-18 months, maybe 24. Spend a couple months doing things while I feel really good. Talk through the process together. I know my kids would come around and honor my decision. Get the shock and awe process out of the way. My wife is a different story and the most difficult. Not sure what to do.

 

[Kingkelly]

still struggling with this. Its stopping me in my tracks. I wish I could simply disappear

Same. But its like I don't want to live anymore they are like just do it for your family and I'm like I can't feel like this everyday. I'm miserable. I get joy out of nothing anymore.. I Want to die every time I look in the mirror. Why should I live my life in pain for other people. Sigh its going to kill them but there's no other way.

 

[longingforrelease]

Hey, I think I need to add something to my earlier response to GreenLantern for I can see how what I said might be misconstrued as me telling other people here they shouldn't blame others for their being in a place where they are seriously considering suicide, As I was typing up my response, I was hoping to make it clear that I completely understand the differences in our experiences. In his case, and in the case of of others I've read here, the treatment he received at the hands of other people created a life no one should have to endure and so indeed they have responsibility for them ending up here. As for me, I was kind of saying it would almost be nice if I could blame me being here on someone else, but unfortunately the misery that I endure is entirely self-inflicted. Yes, I have bi-polar, and yes, my doctor prescribed me drugs that he shouldn't have and made it worse, but at the end of the day it was me that went to him seeking amphetamines for my ADD -- knowing that I was a recovering alcoholic. So the shitty things I did to destroy my life and the guilt, shame and remorse that I carry around is because of the terrible pain I inflicted on others. So our two stories are entirely different. I'm sorry if the way I worded it didn't make that clear. II wouldn't want him or anyone with a story like his (and I've read quite a few here) to think I was being judgemental by making that comparison.

 

[Singing In The Rain]

I think if I'll ctb I'll jump off a bridge in a very secluded place. Below is a hiking trail and a small river. The bridge is very high, so I think I'll die instantly, at least if I fall on my head.
I will jump at night and leave a lagged email ( https://www.timecave.com/timecave/) for the police to make sure that they'll find me.

Good idea.
I wonder how many people have used that site for suicide notes. You wouldn't want the admin of that site reading your message and calling the police before you ctb though... Not saying he would but you never know

 

[mooncake]

I'm really concerned about who would find me and where I should ctb. I'd like to ctb at home in my bed, being comfortable, but I know that people who know me will probably try to intervene as soon as they get suspiscious. I'd also like to make a video explaining some things so I'm sure people will be alerted pretty quickly.
I think I'm gonna do it in a forest and send a delayed e-mail with my location to someone. But I also have not figured out who I'd want to send that to. I'm also afriad of being found by a stranger, especially before I'm gone.