Venting Trans Talk with Parents

[EternalShore]

I had to have like a 2 hour talk with my parents about trans stuff~ :/
They noticed that I completely win regarding what the Bible actually says (we're all Christian, and the Bible says nothing about transitioning being a sin~), so my dad had to take a more scientific approach (XY chromosomes and surgery [even tho, previously, he told me not to do surgery because it would harm me {such a deceitful! :/}]) while my mom had to take a more "because I said God said it" approach~
They insisted that I wasn't actually feminine and should take into account that I'm rough with them (gee~ I wonder why I'm rough with you guys). :/ and even if I was,
they told me that guys can be feminine too~ sure... because they don't believe gender roles still exist in modern society (fun fact: they do! :/) People just say things differently than they act~ So they'll say you can act feminine while treating you like a piece of trash because of it~ the ironic part is that my parents did that in this exact conversation! They were claiming I had Peter Pan syndrome (a male-only thing), showing that they were quite literally putting gendered expectations upon me! :/ That quite literally defeats everything they were trying to say and just makes me furious~
what I should have pointed out is that they're trying to disprove me being female rather than presenting me with a reason to male (besides me born as one (if you could even count that :p) there isn't any) :/

 

[IVE]

i'm so sorry, i understand how difficult it is to get through to old-school christian parents with lgbtq topics

 

[cosmic_traveler]

I had to have like a 2 hour talk with my parents about trans stuff~ :/
They noticed that I completely win regarding what the Bible actually says (we're all Christian, and the Bible says nothing about transitioning being a sin~), so my dad had to take a more scientific approach (XY chromosomes and surgery [even tho, previously, he told me not to do surgery because it would harm me {such a deceitful! :/}]) while my mom had to take a more "because I said God said it" approach~
They insisted that I wasn't actually feminine and should take into account that I'm rough with them (gee~ I wonder why I'm rough with you guys). :/ and even if I was,
they told me that guys can be feminine too~ sure... because they don't believe gender roles still exist in modern society (fun fact: they do! :/) People just say things differently than they act~ So they'll say you can act feminine while treating you like a piece of trash because of it~ the ironic part is that my parents did that in this exact conversation! They were claiming I had Peter Pan syndrome (a male-only thing), showing that they were quite literally putting gendered expectations upon me! :/ That quite literally defeats everything they were trying to say and just makes me furious~
what I should have pointed out is that they're trying to disprove me being female rather than presenting me with a reason to male (besides me born as one (if you could even count that :p) there isn't any) :/

Humanity is still very adolescent when it comes to genitalia. It shouldn't matter to anyone but you and those you decide to include in your life. We also experience gender dysphoria and lost our entire friend group as a result. It sucks that your folks are not being supportive. Wish we could make your anger and pain go away, the best we can offer is an internet hug. Be well on your journey.

 

[Bannana]

stand strong queen, if they can't see you for who you are that's a problem with them not you

 

[TransientEternal]

Parents want to "help" you even when they only want to help themselves. Even if they do think they are doing it for your sake.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I hope you can live life freely and the way you want to really soon. No one deserves to feel like this.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

I had to have like a 2 hour talk with my parents about trans stuff~ :/

I'm so sorry what you experienced... I think this is especially hard for Christians because the Bible tells you to honor your father and mother (I don't have to preach to the choir though.)

I pray to God that you'll get female body in heaven, even though many people would say I'm crazy.

they told me that guys can be feminine too~ sure... because they don't believe gender roles still exist in modern society (fun fact: they do! :/) People just say things differently than they act~ So they'll say you can act feminine while treating you like a piece of trash because of it~ the ironic part is that my parents did that in this exact conversation! They were claiming I had Peter Pan syndrome (a male-only thing), showing that they were quite literally putting gendered expectations upon me! :/ That quite literally defeats everything they were trying to say and just makes me furious~

I think it's a sign of disrespect. It's a sign that they still think you're male and don't care about your gender identity. So it's definitely infuriating!

so my dad had to take a more scientific approach (XY chromosomes and surgery [even tho, previously, he told me not to do surgery because it would harm me {such a deceitful! :/}])

We aren't our chromosomes, unless your dad has a chromosome detector in his eyes.
And I think not undergoing surgery harms you, if you want to have it. Gender reassignment surgery saves lives.

May God bless you - I'm no prophet but He sees that you're a girl I guess.

 

[NeverReallyHere]

It's hard to change people's minds straight away with logical arguments, especially people whose brains have been poisoned by centuries-old religious dogma. The encouraging thing is they're actually talking about it to you and not disowning you as a spawn of Satan or something; hopefully they'll eventually learn to accept you as you are. It seems like they love you and would probably be way more distressed by you being suicidal than being trans.

 

[EternalShore]

Thank you all for the very kind and sweet responses! ^_^

Parents want to "help" you even when they only want to help themselves. Even if they do think they are doing it for your sake.

I don't even see how doing this helps them? They want good consciences and view being trans as evil or something~? idk~ That being said, yes, people are so selfish and only think about themselves and no one else! >_<

I'm so sorry what you experienced... I think this is especially hard for Christians because the Bible tells you to honor your father and mother (I don't have to preach to the choir though.)

I pray to God that you'll get female body in heaven, even though many people would say I'm crazy.

yeah :( I know~ :( It sucks so much because when your parents are sooo... yeah :/ That's probably one of the harder of the 10 Commandments to follow considering how parents are never perfect but oh well~ :) Many do their best! ^_^ even if sometimes, they're wrong! >_<
same! >_< I got so mad when someone told me I wouldn't be a girl in Heaven once~ In Heaven, you get Heavenly bodies, so in a perfect world like Heaven, I figured I could at least be a woman there! xD

We aren't our chromosomes, unless your dad has a chromosome detector in his eyes.

So true! :DDD nothing is merely just its genetics~ It also has to fit them to its environment, so your cells will make various changes to them, turning on and off things (sometimes permanently like lactose intolerance)~ One can't be defined by their genetics if they're as subject to change as everything else! xDDD

It's hard to change people's minds straight away with logical arguments, especially people whose brains have been poisoned by centuries-old religious dogma. The encouraging thing is they're actually talking about it to you and not disowning you as a spawn of Satan or something; hopefully they'll eventually learn to accept you as you are. It seems like they love you and would probably be way more distressed by you being suicidal than being trans.

I believe so too, yes~ They were really good in the past! ^_^ Unfortunately, being male would make me sewer slide, so they don't know that they're fighting for it~ :((( They're using arguments about trans people having sewer slide rates which I argue is because of dysphoria while they say is because of the surgery~ :/

 

[Andro_USYD]

Congratulations on your courage to make such a hard decision. I'm sorry your parents are trying to convince you out of it. It's obviously your desire and goal to look the way you want to look. I know many trans people and they look wonderful imo completely indistinguishable from people born a girl. It's a difficult thing to face gender dysphoria.

Few questions:
At what point in your life did you come to understand your true identity as a woman? I'm curious to know if this has been a part of your journey for a while.

How are you planning to support your transition financially? Is it something that insurance, like Medicare, assists with? I'm also really interested in learning more about the process—what does it entail for you specifically? Are you considering hormone therapy as a start, or are there surgeries planned in your journey?

Looking forward to a time when you've transitioned, do you feel it will bring you a greater sense of happiness and wellbeing? How do you think it will impact your mental health?

Just curious you don't have to answer if you don't want to answer any of the questions, I think it's a remarkable thing that people can do that these days and wish you the best on your journey ahead.

 

[Worndown]

While, as a parent, I would not be overjoyed to hear that conversation I would be glad they had the talk with me. I would need to focus on what was best for them. I would ask questions, some of them difficult. I would rather ask then have them face these questions from others. I would be asking because I cared.
None of us truly knows our path in life.

 

[NeverReallyHere]

I believe so too, yes~ They were really good in the past! ^_^ Unfortunately, being male would make me sewer slide, so they don't know that they're fighting for it~ :((( They're using arguments about trans people having sewer slide rates which I argue is because of dysphoria while they say is because of the surgery~ :/

I haven't seen all the research, but to me it seems obvious that the high rate of suicidality among trans people is mostly due to how appallingly they are treated by their families, their communities and society at large. Perhaps you could find a way of getting your parents to consider this...

 

[EternalShore]

Congratulations on your courage to make such a hard decision. I'm sorry your parents are trying to convince you out of it. It's obviously your desire and goal to look the way you want to look. I know many trans people and they look wonderful imo completely indistinguishable from people born a girl. It's a difficult thing to face gender dysphoria.

Few questions:
At what point in your life did you come to understand your true identity as a woman? I'm curious to know if this has been a part of your journey for a while.

How are you planning to support your transition financially? Is it something that insurance, like Medicare, assists with? I'm also really interested in learning more about the process—what does it entail for you specifically? Are you considering hormone therapy as a start, or are there surgeries planned in your journey?

Looking forward to a time when you've transitioned, do you feel it will bring you a greater sense of happiness and wellbeing? How do you think it will impact your mental health?

Just curious you don't have to answer if you don't want to answer any of the questions, I think it's a remarkable thing that people can do that these days and wish you the best on your journey ahead.

hehe~ I truly hope I can be one of them! ^_^
In the summer break between 8th grade and 9th grade is where I became a girl (mentally at least), although this caused much conflict in my well-indoctrinated Christian brain until I found out the Bible doesn't support the things they claim it did like 5 months ago~
Financially... I'm not really sure... I'm not too worried about surgery, but I presume that $30k spent on hrt and sperm bank over the course of my life shouldn't be that bad. Just that I really need to keep my expenses low to afford having 2 kids via IVF with my bf! >_<
When I've fully transitioned, I can finally act and dress how I wish to act and be with my bf all I wish, so I figure I'd be much happier than I am now! ^_^ I wouldn't have any reason to be jealous! xD Excluding waiting to save money for kids~ :(((

While, as a parent, I would not be overjoyed to hear that conversation I would be glad they had the talk with me. I would need to focus on what was best for them. I would ask questions, some of them difficult. I would rather ask then have them face these questions from others. I would be asking because I cared.
None of us truly knows our path in life.

Completely understandable! >_< I wish I could be not having this conversation as much as them! D: Unfortunately, I was not gifted with the blessing of being born a cis female, so I'm stuck in this sucky world instead~ :(((

I haven't seen all the research, but to me it seems obvious that the high rate of suicidality among trans people is mostly due to how appallingly they are treated by their families, their communities and society at large. Perhaps you could find a way of getting your parents to consider this...

they really are, yeah :( I always thought it was the dysphoria as that is already awful enough, but people around you seem to push it on you too with all their mean comments! >_<