Toxic relatives: Christian forgiveness is bullsh-t

[FireFox]

Forgiveness means absolutely nothing if the wrongdoer shows no remorse for the harm they have done and chooses not to redeem themselves. My grandmother all throughout their lives financially supported her siblings, their children and relatives across the family who were financially struggling and always helping ALL relatives in the family. My mother too then participates in the helping relatives because she loves and cares about them. Our family tree is big

The same relatives grandmother and mother have helped have caused them nothing but years of pain, suffering and don't even give them basic respect..None of relatives have shown no remorse for the suffering they have brought and continue to do bring suffering with their selfishness, stealing, constant spreading of lies, sabotage etc.

I was discussing with my grandmother this week how I don't like the relatives treatment of my grandmother and mother. My grandmother starts preaching to me about how in the bible we must forgive no matter what. I told my grandmother " there is no excuse for people treating others awfully if God was good we would not have these piece of sh*t people as relatives, we would have better family" My grandmother said they are not pieces of sh*t "they are God's people".
I almost said to my grandmother "I don't care what holy bible says nobody should be obliged to forgive the people who hurt them"

 

[FuneralCry]

Those people who continue to bring suffering really sound so cruel. It's awful how people act in such a way and treat others so badly, the way that I see it people like that aren't even worth helping.

 

[SilentSadness]

I think forgiveness is tacked on to religions to disguise their real teaching: that you are obligated to suffer so that X will be the result. I think it's just something people use to make themselves feel a bit more comfortable, after all life is not comfortable at all and it is relentless suffering for me. People can also be so mean to others, purely for their own pleasure which will only make them feel empty in the long run.

 

[TakeMeBack07]

The bible agrees with your first sentence.
Perhaps asking your grandmother to support what she says with biblical quotes will get you through to her.

 

[leavingsoon99]

Forgiveness, while a very noble idea, is often weaponized against believers. That's why it's always preached. So, people are programmed to forgive madness because it's the 'christian' thing to do. See, the key forgiveness being functional and actually having substance is that there is justice and atonement to go along with it. Without those things, one is literally just being brow-beaten into accepting insulting and disrespectful behavior by others. It's like, in South Africa, the natives forgiving the colonizers. It's one thing to preach that they should forgive the invaders. Quite another for the invaders to return the land and economic resources to the natives. THAT makes the forgiveness substantive, because now the colonizers have atoned for their sins. It's one thing to tell someone to forgive their abusive parents, because "forgiveness is for you, not them." Quite another for the parents to apologize to the child, and make efforts going forward to have a functional relationship with the child. THAT is when forgiveness is healthy. However, in this corrupt society, forgiveness is weaponized against the victim in order to excuse and accept bad behavior as a part of life.

 

[TheSadStranger]

I'm probably going to receive backlash for this but I'll say it anyways. (For context read my post to get the full story.) My opinion differs from yours in that I have suffered all my life and I still haven't lost my faith. It's ok that we have different options. I have been abused and quite literally tortured all of my life. Just when I thought things were turning around and I experienced happiness for the first time in my life it got ripped away from me. I messed up and that led to a serious of tragic events. I then got backstabbed by the person I loved most. Just because people in life are scum doesn't mean that "God isn't good" or "He doesn't care". On top of my sad existence I recently was diagnosed with (3C) Stage 3 non-small cell,lung cancer and I've never smoked before. I was told I have 13 months left to live. Life isn't fair by any means, but it doesn't mean "Forgiveness is bullsh*t". Life is full of pain and suffering. Sadly even in the bible it says that life will be filled with pain and suffering, but it will be worth it in the end.

Again I'm aware I'm not going to change anyone's opinion. I'm very sorry that your grandmother and mother have to suffer. If tears solved problems then I wouldn't stop crying. I don't know what to say. I would probably talk to them about confronting those relatives who are the root of their suffering. I hope only the best for you , your grandmother and mother, and your relatives (I hope they turn over a new leaf).

 

[FireFox]

I'm probably going to receive backlash for this but I'll say it anyways. (For context read my post to get the full story.) My opinion differs from yours in that I have suffered all my life and I still haven't lost my faith. It's ok that we have different options. I have been abused and quite literally tortured all of my life. Just when I thought things were turning around and I experienced happiness for the first time in my life it got ripped away from me. I messed up and that led to a serious of tragic events. I then got backstabbed by the person I loved most. Just because people in life are scum doesn't mean that "God isn't good" or "He doesn't care". On top of my sad existence I recently was diagnosed with (3C) Stage 3 non-small cell,lung cancer and I've never smoked before. I was told I have 13 months left to live. Life isn't fair by any means, but it doesn't mean "Forgiveness is bullsh*t". Life is full of pain and suffering. Sadly even in the bible it says that life will be filled with pain and suffering, but it will be worth it in the end.

Again I'm aware I'm not going to change anyone's opinion. I'm very sorry that your grandmother and mother have to suffer. If tears solved problems then I wouldn't stop crying. I don't know what to say. I would probably talk to them about confronting those relatives who are the root of their suffering. I hope only the best for you , your grandmother and mother, and your relatives (I hope they turn over a new leaf).

@TheSadStranger Virtual hug You deserved so much better. I really hope and pray things work out for you. I believe in the existence of God just like my family but I do question the world, as it is full of mystery.

I do not believe in everything happens for a reason because there many aspects of life that can not be explained for example we will never why we will never understand why some human beings are pure evil and enjoy bringing suffering to others such as serial killers, murderous dictators etc.

I hate my relatives so much, they are the worst people ever,. during the pandemic I was so happy when the UK government imposed strict travel restrictions on my parents home country. The UK government during the pandemic put my parents home country on the red list for travel meaning arrival back into the UK will result in a mandatory quarantine in a hotel and travellers must pay for all the costs of staying the hotel. Failure to adhere to the the rules was heavy fine.

I was so happy during the pandemic never having to see them again as my parents home country was on the red list for a so long

 

[TheSadStranger]

@TheSadStranger Virtual hug You deserved so much better. I really hope and pray things work out for you. I believe in the existence of God just like my family but I do question the world, as it is full of mystery.

I do not believe in everything happens for a reason because there many aspects of life that can not be explained for example we will never why we will never understand why some human beings are pure evil and enjoy bringing suffering to others such as serial killers, murderous dictators etc.

I hate my relatives so much, they are the worst people ever,. during the pandemic I was so happy when the UK government imposed strict travel restrictions on my parents home country. The UK government during the pandemic put my parents home country on the red list for travel meaning arrival back into the UK will result in a mandatory quarantine in a hotel and travellers must pay for all the costs of staying the hotel. Failure to adhere to the the rules was heavy fine.

I was so happy during the pandemic never having to see them again as my parents home country was on the red list for a so long

I'm so glad to hear you haven't lost your faith stick to it. I don't understand the mysteries of this world either. Some people are just born evil. I do know that this world will be full of suffering and trials and tribulations. We have to persevere through them. I will be here for you and everyone else who needs me here.

I really hope things get better for you, your mom, and your grandmother.

Stay safe
*Virtual hug*

 

[LaVieEnRose]

True forgiveness either comes organically or it doesn't come at all, no matter how much you try to force it.