(toxic) masculinity and suicide

[noname223]

I am male and I deal a lot with suicidal thoughts. (otherwise i would not be here lol) Statistically it is way more likely that men commit suicide. I think some of my suicidal thoughts have to do with my gender. For example men shall have the role of a strong, emotionally distanced person who protects rather than being a depressed mess. I could imagine if i was female i would have another worldview. My sister completely denies suicide. And i think it is psychological proven that men tend to lead their aggressions towards themself. This fits perfectly for me.
However i try to consider the pro and con arguments for suicide rational. The reason of ceasing my existence should not be an impulse, i rather prefer a really well thought end.

 

[InTheAirTonight]

This thread will end well

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Astolfo is my model of masculinity. He is peak performance.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

I think it's true although not everyone wants you to be masculine like you may think, I just wont encourage others to ctb but won't discourage those in pain but your your masculinity and pride might get the better of you and ill end up doing myself in.

 

[Throwawaysoul]

As far as masculinity goes, Im not strong, I have no work ethic, no stamina, my hands are as smooth as silk, I never like sports and I hate pickup trucks. I simply don't fit in with the menfolk. This plays a big roll in me wanting to CTB.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

As far as masculinity goes, Im not strong, I have no work ethic, no stamina, my hands are as smooth as silk, I never like sports and I hate pickup trucks. I simply don't fit in with the menfolk. This plays a big roll in me wanting to CTB.

Obviously this is an unrealistic perception but this type of neanderthal does exist and obviously there are camp people who live there whole life without problems, I've become quite thoughtful through no fault of my own and find a great divide between the white working class of my own nationality and it's not something I can escape.

 

[noname223]

Is this topic too touchy? I really like to analyze myself. And I cannot deny that this does not affect my suicidality.
Why i think it should not be an impulse. In my native language it is like saying that suicide is often an act of impulse. For me i really have to doubt it. The most people i knew who ctb suffer like years of pain. Maybe the last act is impulsive, but the thoughts consist since years.

 

[justsad&done]

Is this topic too touchy? I really like to analyze myself. And I cannot deny that this does not affect my suicidality.
Why i think it should not be an impulse. In my native language it is like saying that suicide is often an act of impulse. For me i really have to doubt it. The most people i knew who ctb suffer like years of pain. Maybe the last act is impulsive, but the thoughts consist since years.

It sounds to me like you're asking honest and thoughtful questions of both yourself and this forum. Maybe it does not hold true as much as it used to, but a long held stereotype of masculinity was just as you describe. And it likely has played a part in the suicide rate being higher for men than women. I agree with what you say -- the final act may be impulsive, yet the build up to that end was long coming. Unfortunately someone may feel defeated because of that notion that they should be strong and in control.

 

[PursuitofWonder]

I can relate somewhat to this. For me part of it had to do with being male and part of it is just age in general. Age wise I feel like people in my life expect me to start getting my shit together because I'm getting to the age where that's the norm. Gender wise I kinda feel like I've been raised to understand my place as a stoic and unemotional person who has to go through life doing what the typical family man does. It's not like this is exclusive to males obviously, the long held expectation of women to be stay at home moms or moms at all is extremely damaging and is only just recently lifting. I feel a lot of the higher male suicide rate comes down to us being taught to be self reliant and not accept help from others. All just speculation but that's my view.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

this is a bit of a vent but I have this overwhelming feeling that as a man if I don't settle down soon and I can't see that happening the right thing to do would be to ctb.

 

[Kat!]

I believe it really is the fact that guys are forced to believe their feelings don't matter that makes them depressed. It's even worse when the mother is the dominant one in the family.

 

[Secrets1]

In lots of cases I agree with the above. It's important to remember males are far more likely to be aggressive towards themselves AND others due to testosterone. Hell females don't even produce testosterone naturally unless they've conceived a baby boy (nature preparing for the future ). All part of the equation that ties into rigid cultural norms that are often harmful.

There can be toxic femininity too. The underlying cause may be valid (just like presence of testosterone) but ultimately it's toxic behavior. I think there are toxic actions, ways of thinking and society's done a nice job reinforcing them over time.

 

[demuic]

In lots of cases I agree with the above. It's important to remember males are far more likely to be aggressive towards themselves AND others due to testosterone. Hell females don't even produce testosterone naturally unless they've conceived a baby boy (nature preparing for the future ). All part of the equation that ties into rigid cultural norms that are often harmful.

There can be toxic femininity too. The underlying cause may be valid (just like presence of testosterone) but ultimately it's toxic behavior. I think there are toxic actions, ways of thinking and society's done a nice job reinforcing them over time.

Incorrect, women also produce testosterone in smaller amounts.

 

[Secrets1]

Incorrect, women also produce testosterone in smaller amounts.

I stand corrected!

 

[OrdinaryDay]

If you feel less manly than someone else in your surroundings I guess it's a valid reason to die. Some men would rather commit suicide than be gay their whole lifes. Why deal with this nonsensical bull crap like therapies bla bla when you can off yourself? It takes balls to do so. Or does it take balls to stay alive? Well if you're a maniac then yes, keeping yourself alive is essential. Look bud.. i don't really know.. there are so many reasons for different people. You need to find yours that is valid enough for you to commit the act.

 

[Pulpit2018]

For example men shall have the role of a strong, emotionally distanced person who protects rather than being a depressed mess.

That is not toxic masculinity. Its good old male strength. Somehing is short supply these days. Somebody has to get on with it, drag the cart along the way. Storm the beach. You know?
Enough with inversing reality and bad-naming men for being men!
This is some bs.

 

[Nymph]

That is not toxic masculinity. Its good old male strength. Somehing is short supply these days. Somebody has to get on with it, drag the cart along the way. Storm the beach. You know?
Enough with inversing reality and bad-naming men for being men!
This is some bs.

Is this sarcasm? I can't tell

 

[OrdinaryDay]

Can we please close this thread before it gets stormy in here...

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

here is more peak big manly man beef testosterone

 

[PursuitofWonder]

That is not toxic masculinity. Its good old male strength. Somehing is short supply these days. Somebody has to get on with it, drag the cart along the way. Storm the beach. You know?
Enough with inversing reality and bad-naming men for being men!
This is some bs.

This is a goddamn bruh moment lmao time to close this thread

 

[OrdinaryDay]

This is a goddamn bruh moment lmao time to close this thread

No offense but who asked?

 

[PursuitofWonder]

No offense but who asked?

Man you said essentially the same thing as me, no offense but who asked you? Nobody, but you still have every right to speak your mind, as do I.

 

[OrdinaryDay]

Man you said essentially the same thing as me, no offense but who asked you? Nobody, but you still have every right to speak your mind, as do I.

I mean who asked if that was a bruh moment. This thread should definitely be closed though

 

[Superdeterminist]

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with subscribing to a perceived 'societal idea' of how a man should behave, if that's what appeals to you. It's when one expects others to fit that mould, and finds them at fault if they don't, that I think it becomes toxic.

 

[Meditation guide]

In lots of cases I agree with the above. It's important to remember males are far more likely to be aggressive towards themselves AND others due to testosterone. Hell females don't even produce testosterone naturally unless they've conceived a baby boy (nature preparing for the future ). All part of the equation that ties into rigid cultural norms that are often harmful.

I like your post. I just want to say women do produce small amounts of testosterone.

The ovaries produce both testosterone and estrogen.

 

[Nymph]

completely agree, i;m so bored of generation minge and the insecure projecting their bullshit, just look at the pathetic here asking for the thread to be locked because someone dare have the "wrong" opinion... i fucking hate weak people tbqh.

The thing is you can have a man that is bearded with huge muscles that works out everyday and a man that is thin, just likes to chill and do meditation and anything in between. Just because they don't partake in typical "manly activities" (which is already a bad stereotype-which is what we are against) or look super "alpha male" doesn't mean they're are less of a man

 

[OrdinaryDay]

Is toxic femininity a thing?

 

[Nymph]

i fucking hate weak people tbqh.

 

[Meditation guide]

It's nice when there is a balance in men or women. Nothing says a man can't be emotional, need comforting, cook and clean and enjoy sewing, enjoy long conversations, enjoy shopping for clothing and wearing cologne. They can sit with their legs together (sitting with the legs far apart might be more of an American thing men do.) They can get highlights in their hair and even wear some subtle makeup. They can dislike physical fights. They don't need bulging muscles. Be yourself.

 

[freedomfreezerstar]

i think toxic femininity and masculinity both exist. in what i have learned from spiritual stuff, we all encompass both the traits of divine masculine energy and divine feminine energy. they create a spectrum that lets all human gender exist. if you have a balance of the energies, you can work with the universe as a human very well by taking and receiving. if you polarize it though, and try and stay only in one energy, it will be like you can only receive from the universe and not act in it, or can only act in the universe, not receive from it. that is where it can become toxic and bad for you. you don't need to be all masculine or all feminine. you just need a balance