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siouxsie

Member
Nov 3, 2023
33
My husband is (possibly knowingly) causing a big part of my suicidal thoughts.
I know I need to get out but don't know how. It seems like it's either stay with him or ctb.
I'm pretty sure he's a narcissist. I'm constantly blamed for everything and he makes me feel worthless. He sometimes gets violent. Broke my nose last week.
I just don't know how to get out. We have kids. I'm at university. I have no family to watch the kids while I have classes. All the money (kids and mine) goes into his bank account. Tenancy is in my name though. He has proof of suicide attempts and threats. If I leave he will try to get custody for my kids. Not because he thinks it's the right thing to do but only to hurt me. My kids are what's keeping me alive in the first place. I have photo proof of all the domestic violence but nothing else.
How do I get out of this mess?
 
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derpyderpins

derpyderpins

Proud Normie
Sep 19, 2023
1,301
[Not legal advice.]

Listen: it's going to be tough, but it absolutely will be worth it, especially for your kids. Taking everything said here as fact, he's a monster. I've worked in courthouses and seen the results from these types of situations, both where mom got out with the kids and where she stuck around. You want to get out.

The tenancy being in your name (rent, I assume?) is huge. Laws will vary by where you are, even state to state in the US. If you are in a first world country, I'm sure there is something akin to a department of family services or family and child services. . . something like that. They should be able to help set you up with a lawyer who will give you a full game plan, and that should be a huge relief. It will be something like

(1) Protection order and get him kicked out of the house;
(2) Criminal prosecution for the abuse
(3) divorce paperwork and moving your income to your own bank account, getting him off the lease: those type of things

It will be about getting rid of the violence first, then the smaller matters.

You can do this. I seriously think no one is as strong mentally as a mother protecting her kids.
 
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