Venting Toxic family

[Ferret77]

Does anybody here with a toxic/abusive family also hate how people always have the need to force that "family is everything" and "blood is thicker than water" shit down your throat?
Like yeah, you have a good relationship with your family, that's great. But you didn't have to go through abuse, judgement and humiliation every single day, caused by the people that were supposed to love you the most. My "father" used to beat me, neglect me, verbally and emotionally abuse me, gaslight me and I could go on and on....And that was when I was a small child. People from my family defended him, just because he was a "likable" person.
My mom keeps guilt tripping me and yells at me for not caring more about her feelings, when she literally knows how horrible my mental health is, and I can't even take care of myself.
She always tells me how supportive she is, but whenever I ask for help with something, she starts shaming me and accusing me for always needing something.
Don't even get me started on my manipulative extensive family.
I have to say, most of them aren't bad people, and I still love them, but if I don't want to associate with them anymore, you don't have any right to judge me for that decision.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Does anybody here with a toxic/abusive family also hate how people always have the need to force that "family is everything" and "blood is thicker than water" shit down your throat?
Like yeah, you have a good relationship with your family, that's great. But you didn't have to go through abuse, judgement and humiliation every single day, caused by the people that were supposed to love you the most. My "father" used to beat me, neglect me, verbally and emotionally abuse me, gaslight me and I could go on and on....And that was when I was a small child. People from my family defended him, just because he was a "likable" person.
My mom keeps guilt tripping me and yells at me for not caring more about her feelings, when she literally knows how horrible my mental health is, and I can't even take care of myself.
She always tells me how supportive she is, but whenever I ask for help with something, she starts shaming me and accusing me for always needing something.
Don't even get me started on my manipulative extensive family.
I have to say, most of them aren't bad people, and I still love them, but if I don't want to associate with them anymore, you don't have any right to judge me for that decision.

My mother was a narcissist. And the rest of my so-called family were very toxic.
I no longer have contact with any of them.
So sorry you are going through this.

 

[Ferret77]

My mother was a narcissist. And the rest of my so-called family were very toxic.
I no longer have contact with any of them.
So sorry you are going through this.

It's tough, but I'm glad you got out of the situation. Hopefully, it's at least a little bit better now....

 

[Aisley]

I left my family decades ago, and about fifteen years ago I came back, and when I did, I stood at the door and turned many of them away. Said plainly, you're a shitty person and I don't want you here. To another I said you're a parasite. And now I only have contact with the best members. Family really think they have first dibs on you and yours, because of blood. Fucking cannibals.

 

[Ferret77]

I left my family decades ago, and about fifteen years ago I came back, and when I did, I stood at the door and turned many of them away. Said plainly, you're a shitty person and I don't want you here. To another I said you're a parasite. And now I only have contact with the best members. Family really think they have first dibs on you and yours, because of blood. Fucking cannibals.

It's definitely a hard situation to be in and to experience, but you did great! I'm sure you're better off without them...

 

[yobba]

I think many people have their own 'definition' of love. But because of that they feel justified when they do things like gaslighting and hurting others because 'I know better and I love them' without listening or looking at the other person. For me, I just stopped listening and I'm sure they all think I'm tone-deaf at this point but I also don't want to leave because of my relationship with them. It was my decision, but if you want to walk away from all this insanity, I don't blame you. I hope you just find some happiness out of this.

 

[The anhedonic one]

It's tough, but I'm glad you got out of the situation. Hopefully, it's at least a little bit better now....

Thank you. I hope you manage to distance yourself from toxic people too. They are extremely bad for our health.

 

[thechamp]

Does anybody here with a toxic/abusive family also hate how people always have the need to force that "family is everything" and "blood is thicker than water" shit down your throat?
Like yeah, you have a good relationship with your family, that's great. But you didn't have to go through abuse, judgement and humiliation every single day, caused by the people that were supposed to love you the most. My "father" used to beat me, neglect me, verbally and emotionally abuse me, gaslight me and I could go on and on....And that was when I was a small child. People from my family defended him, just because he was a "likable" person.
My mom keeps guilt tripping me and yells at me for not caring more about her feelings, when she literally knows how horrible my mental health is, and I can't even take care of myself.
She always tells me how supportive she is, but whenever I ask for help with something, she starts shaming me and accusing me for always needing something.
Don't even get me started on my manipulative extensive family.
I have to say, most of them aren't bad people, and I still love them, but if I don't want to associate with them anymore, you don't have any right to judge me for that decision.

Sorry you're going through this. My family was completely fucked up too. Honestly, the best thing for me was having a brotherhood. No matter what your family puts you through, your true homies will be there for you. Even if you have this, it wouldn't hurt to add to it. God bless.

 

[90starve]

Does anybody here with a toxic/abusive family also hate how people always have the need to force that "family is everything" and "blood is thicker than water" shit down your throat?
Like yeah, you have a good relationship with your family, that's great. But you didn't have to go through abuse, judgement and humiliation every single day, caused by the people that were supposed to love you the most. My "father" used to beat me, neglect me, verbally and emotionally abuse me, gaslight me and I could go on and on....And that was when I was a small child. People from my family defended him, just because he was a "likable" person.
My mom keeps guilt tripping me and yells at me for not caring more about her feelings, when she literally knows how horrible my mental health is, and I can't even take care of myself.
She always tells me how supportive she is, but whenever I ask for help with something, she starts shaming me and accusing me for always needing something.
Don't even get me started on my manipulative extensive family.
I have to say, most of them aren't bad people, and I still love them, but if I don't want to associate with them anymore, you don't have any right to judge me for that decision.

i also struggled with a toxic family - until i moved out at 16. almost 5 years later, the only person from my family that i have regular contact with is my dad.

blood definitely isn't always thicker than water.