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SchizoPolyGymnast

SchizoPolyGymnast

Elementalist
May 28, 2024
828
When asked why they want to stay alive, most people have Big™️ reasons. Their kids. Their pets. Religious beliefs. The like. I have those too.

But I also have utterly vain, trivial, selfish reasons to stay alive. I have so many.

At the forefront of my mind is this one: my Halloween costume.

Halloween is my favorite holiday and my main occasion for showing off my art. I make all my costumes by hand. This year I will be dressing up as Nicolo Machiavelli. The Italian diplomat. The namesake for the dark triad personality trait.

I want to be deceitful, cunning, a powerful man. I want to embody regality and luxury. I want to be feared and admired. I want this to be the best costume I've ever made.

If you're reading this, you're entitled to another chance. To enjoyment. To ambition. To stay alive for you and you alone. You're entitled to write more chapters and give them the ending you feel they deserve. And I'll be here to help.

My kindest regards,
Machiavelli
 
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EmptyBottle

EmptyBottle

:3
Apr 10, 2025
1,944
Cool Halloween costume idea.

I also have "selfish" reasons to stay alive.. I have a chat-site (theme changed from light-pink&night-blue to green) on Tor that I run... and like talking to the users there.
 
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deny_conformity

deny_conformity

do not be sorry, be better
Jan 8, 2026
81
I'm looking for reasons to live, I currently have just the one - I don't want to make my last care coordinator cry (she said she'd be upset if I tried to CTB). Is that selfish or not?

I have friends and a son, neither of which enter my mind when thinking about dying. I'm looking for more reasons but low self-esteem and self-worth make it difficult - I think the world would be a better place without me.
 
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woofwag

woofwag

Bad dog
Sep 17, 2025
371
I'm probably gonna kms anyway, but my selfish reasons are having a blast stealing random shit and doing drugs lmao. Also seeing how many people I can get freaky with and how desperate I can make them get for me. Would be super fun to be destructive with someone. Light some shit on fire, self-harm and drink together, get high and trauma dump, all of the like. It'll probably destroy them when I do ctb, or maybe not, but either way it is very much a selfish reason.

Oh, and my last one: having a fake proposal with my bestie in a fancy restaurant and seeing if we can get them to give us free dessert and champagne. I really do enjoy a good bamboozling. I'm a fucked up guy but I will always do it for the bit.
 
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EmptyBottle

EmptyBottle

:3
Apr 10, 2025
1,944
Oh, and my last one: having a fake proposal with my bestie in a fancy restaurant and seeing if we can get them to give us free dessert and champagne. I really do enjoy a good bamboozling. I'm a fucked up guy but I will always do it for the bit.
Free champagne that way is kinda funny ngl (I wonder what fiction can be written involving the earlier destructive ideas tho)
 
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woofwag

woofwag

Bad dog
Sep 17, 2025
371
Free champagne that way is kinda funny ngl (I wonder what fiction can be written involving the earlier destructive ideas tho)
Loll right? We even found some vintage rings he has that we're gonna use. Idk what restaurant yet or if I'll ever have the time to do this, but it's funny to me in concept. And true, I am a writer so maybe I'll make it into a scene eventually (probably not I'm too burnt out but the idea is there)
 
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