Resource Took some SN - A LIVE THREAD

[j1nxxb0yjj4ke]

UTC+1

about 7:30pm: I ingested a sip, not even a glass, of a bit of juice and about 20g SN.
The taste is so horrendous, I had to immediately cough and puke some up. No juice though, just spit.

7:40pm: I hope even just 2g of SN are in my body rn, the minimum lethal dose.
I truly hope I can die.
Wish me luck, and the strength to stomach some more sips, or IF I live, on another time with antiemetics.
My SN is in an airtight sealed bag.
It is from DMC.

(The taste is just a tiny bit salty, and more extremely chemical. Extremely disgusting. I'm sorry y'all)

7:45pm: Idk if its just my body or the anxiety, or hopefully the SN, but I have some tachycardia and I feel dizzy.
My vision is a tiny bit blurry.
Almost like the beginning of getting drunk? But a tiny bit.

Please, wish me luck. I wish to be on the other side soon.

7:52pm: I have somewhat strong tachycardia, extremely 'dizzy' (like I'm drunk or high, it feels nice), a bit forgetful.
I think it's working.
I hope. I pray.

8:02pm: I feel really slow and 'dumb', almost like being 'high'.

BTW! If I don't update here in a week (don't have SaSu on my phone, so laptop it is). I'm hopefully dead.


1:23am: I failed. I passed out and woke up in my own spit, my own puke.

I can feel my pulse in my head, taste the SN.

I am a failure.

How can I fail my 5th attempt?
Praying the 6th will be the last.

 

[TheHolySword]

I hope that you find peace. Wishing you the best

 

[rozeske]

I hope this is a thought out plan and not a rushed impulsive one. I wish you the peace you're looking for.

 

[j1nxxb0yjj4ke]

I hope this is a thought out plan and not a rushed impulsive one. I wish you the peace you're looking for.

Its both.
I waited 2 weeks for the SN, thought about it before for years (generally speaking, though its not my first attempt).

I have BPD (and cPTSD, Depression, paranoid Schizophrenia, DID), and my dad upset me, criticised me and my life and everything.
I got so upset, sad, mad, at him, the world.
This now, was rather impulsive.
But I've been wanting to CTB for years anyway.

 

[rozeske]

Its both.
I waited 2 weeks for the SN, thought about it before for years (generally speaking, though its not my first attempt).

I have BPD (and cPTSD, Depression, paranoid Schizophrenia, DID), and my dad upset me, criticised me and my life and everything.
I got so upset, sad, mad, at him, the world.
This now, was rather impulsive.
But I've been wanting to CTB for years anyway.

If you feel regret with the impulsiveness of it know you can call for help and tell them what you took. If not i hope it goes peaceful for you. How are you feeling? Mixing the sn with juice might not have been the best idea.

 

[j1nxxb0yjj4ke]

If you feel regret with the impulsiveness of it know you can call for help and tell them what you took. If not i hope it goes peaceful for you. How are you feeling? Mixing the sn with juice might not have been the best idea.

I know I can call help, but probably won't.

I feel extremely good.
Almost like a drunken state, I'm cold, I wanna lie down, I feel tired.
I THINK and HOPE its working.

 

[divinemistress36]

How are you feeling?

 

[Divinus]

Last seen over 30 minutes ago so I'll assume j1nxx passed on, I hope they're free from their suffering.

 

[Scorpio moon gal]

are you still around?

Last seen over 30 minutes ago so I'll assume j1nxx passed on, I hope they're free from their suffering.

or maybe he just passed out...I doubt the mixing with juice part...but, I hope he is at peace

 

[dinosavr]

I hope you're not in pain anymore :(

 

[littleraccoon3]

I wish you nothing but the best, see you

 

[opheliaoveragain]

no disrespect meant but I hope no one copies this. things can skew towards failure when you do not follow protocol.


but no matter what,

wishing you nothing but peace OP. we are here for you if you see this and return.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find the freedom you are searching for, best wishes.

 

[TheHolySword]

I hope you are not in pain~

 

[CantDoIt]

I get why they did it this way, they didn't take very much and the experience is probably a lot less bad that way, but also less guaranteed to cause death. I also took a sip awhile back, not recommended for testing obv, and it was actually pretty pleasant also. You do get dizzy, weakness, but also I did get a sort of calmness. The tachycardia didn't bother me. In some cases, I think that the changes in blood pressure might actually force a "calmer" state. However, I don't guarantee that at all. I hope the OP can rest, be at peace, and get what they desire out of this experience.

 

[j1nxxb0yjj4ke]

1:23am: I failed. I passed out and woke up in my own spit, my own puke.

I can feel my pulse in my head, taste the SN.

I am a failure.

How can I fail my 5th attempt?
Praying the 6th will be the last.

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

1:23am: I failed. I passed out and woke up in my own spit, my own puke.

I can feel my pulse in my head, taste the SN.

I am a failure.

How can I fail my 5th attempt?
Praying the 6th will be the last.

This is worrisome to me because SN will be my intended method. Is it true that you only took a sip of the 20 gram SN solution and not all of it? I just want to know what caused it not to work from your perspective if you can. Sorry if this sounds rude or mean, not intending to come across that way. I am genuinely curious.

 

[dontlook]

So sorry you had to endure that just for it to fail. What are your plans now?

 

[CantDoIt]

1:23am: I failed. I passed out and woke up in my own spit, my own puke.

I can feel my pulse in my head, taste the SN.

I am a failure.

How can I fail my 5th attempt?
Praying the 6th will be the last.

Seems like taking a fraction of the lethal dose unfortunately isn't reliable....wish it was though because it's not that bad at all. I'm so sorry that it didn't work out for you.

 

[TheHolySword]

You may have failed your attempt but that does not mean you are a failure. Take some time to compose yourself, figure out what you may want to do from here and what your next steps are going to be. I hope you can still find your peace

 

[CatLvr]

1:23am: I failed. I passed out and woke up in my own spit, my own puke.

I can feel my pulse in my head, taste the SN.

I am a failure.

How can I fail my 5th attempt?
Praying the 6th will be the last.

Bless your heart. As someone who has attempted and failed multiple times, I know how you feel. But, you are NOT a failure. You are simply a person who didn't accomplish what they wanted -- this time. Review what you did right and what you did wrong. If you have questions, check the MegaThread, or ask. Someone will know the answer. And then try again. Or you might find a reason or two to stay around a little longer, like I did. That's the thing about life -- you never know what is coming your way. But whatever happens, know without a doubt that no one here judges you and we are here for you when you need us.

 

[toxicjester]

You're not a failure! No one is going to judge you for how many attempts you have, I'm sure some people have more than you but even then they're not failures. I'm sorry this didn't work out this time, I wish I could give advice on maybe what you could do next time but I'm not the biggest expert on this method.

That being said though, do you think you'll get yourself checked out for any lasting damage? Or is that something not that pertinent to you atm? I know you're probably going through so much right now it's overwhelming. I know everyone here wants to support you in any way they can though! I hope you can get what you need in the end

 

[non linear life]

Did you fast, you might need to fast for a while for sn to work. Unless you already did fast