Venting Too negative for a suicide forum

[freedompass]

I feel bad for anyone here who reads my rants. Don't wanna bring y'all down. I know it's absurd. But that's what's unique about this place. Only here is it acceptable, a place you won't be judged as a misery guts.

Here's the thing tho. My life is not even that bad! I have a lovely home and virtually never have to go out if I don't want to. I have high speed internet lol. I love cooking and eating and enjoy ordering groceries and other stuff. Love how I feel after a nice bath and fresh clean clothes. I have a couple of real life female friends to confide in. I'm on high rate disability benefit. It's enough to afford a summer break in the seaside town. I enjoy drinking coffee and tea, and I vape. I can essentially do what the fuck I like when I like. I love true crime on YouTube.

Compared to the past, life is pretty good or at least peaceful and not ctb fuel as such. Doubt it will last. The gigantic maw of psychosis could decide to chew me up again. Either way…however comfy it's still death row. Why the fuck are we even here. Etc

 

[SexyIncél]

I feel bad for anyone here who reads my rants. Don't wanna bring y'all down.

Good luck trying to bring me down. I literally sleep next to a shotgun like it's a teddy bear

 

[hey.howare.u]

Feel you, compared to others who are happy my life is fucking awesome. No money problems, a nice understanding family etc. but im just unable to be happy.
Why the fuck is it this way?
I just want to ctb but feel bad for all my friends and family who tell me they care about me.

 

[domedune]

Situations often don't translate to suicidality. There are people in shit situations who can't even comprehend offing themselves and there are people who are relatively fine who want to die. Suicide is a right all people should have regardless of their situations.

 

[freedompass]

Situations often don't translate to suicidality. There are people in shit situations who can't even comprehend offing themselves and there are people who are relatively fine who want to die. Suicide is a right all people should have regardless of their situations.

Yes. Comfiness aside (and I know I'm lucky in that respect) I am extremely cynical at this point. I used to have some sort of faith, spirituality, whatever. Now I live to satisfy my body's needs. Which in a way makes sense since it's my body that wants to be here, mind, heart and soul already checked out.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Good luck trying to bring me down. I literally sleep next to a shotgun like it's a teddy bear

I like your style.

 

[Someone123]

You do have some good things going on, nut it sounds like some loneliness may be an issue- is it possible to spend some more time with people whose company you may enjoy? Of course I support the right to choose to leave when a person decides it's time to go.

 

[freedompass]

You do have some good things going on, nut it sounds like some loneliness may be an issue- is it possible to spend some more time with people whose company you may enjoy? Of course I support the right to choose to leave when a person decides it's time to go.

Yes it's possible but loneliness is not a huge thing for me. Boredom is worse. I definitely have choices but the balance is ok at the moment. It's the absolute pointlessness of it all. Also, I'm haunted by past trauma. Life has been super shitty.

I used to attend adult education classes. Voluntary work, all kinds of things. Used to read a ton of books and listen to music. I lost my soul and now prefer to lounge on my bed with phone and laptop. Like a pig in muck.

Oh people like to say volunteer, focus on helping others and it'll definitely make you feel better. But I feel ok doing fuck all for anyone! All that generic knee jerk 'advice' people like to hand out if you ever dare to vent about your empty life. 'Have you tried therapy' etc etc. 'Go for a walk, take up crochet' like they are the first person to say this bs.

I've got a (sort of) friend who does this kind of shit. He's actually a bit patronising. Let me vent! I'll pass on the facile quick fixes thanks.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Yes. Comfiness aside (and I know I'm lucky in that respect) I am extremely cynical at this point. I used to have some sort of faith, spirituality, whatever. Now I live to satisfy my body's needs. Which in a way makes sense since it's my body that wants to be here, mind, heart and soul already checked out.

Sounds pretty good

 

[theboy]

I feel bad for anyone here who reads my rants. Don't wanna bring y'all down. I know it's absurd. But that's what's unique about this place. Only here is it acceptable, a place you won't be judged as a misery guts.

Here's the thing tho. My life is not even that bad! I have a lovely home and virtually never have to go out if I don't want to. I have high speed internet lol. I love cooking and eating and enjoy ordering groceries and other stuff. Love how I feel after a nice bath and fresh clean clothes. I have a couple of real life female friends to confide in. I'm on high rate disability benefit. It's enough to afford a summer break in the seaside town. I enjoy drinking coffee and tea, and I vape. I can essentially do what the fuck I like when I like. I love true crime on YouTube.

Compared to the past, life is pretty good or at least peaceful and not ctb fuel as such. Doubt it will last. The gigantic maw of psychosis could decide to chew me up again. Either way…however comfy it's still death row. Why the fuck are we even here. Etc

Feel you, compared to others who are happy my life is fucking awesome. No money problems, a nice understanding family etc. but im just unable to be happy.
Why the fuck is it this way?
I just want to ctb but feel bad for all my friends and family who tell me they care about me.

x3

 

[FuneralCry]

There's no such thing as being too negative in a life like this. Good for you if you are able to enjoy some things in life, most people cannot. But I agree that it's all pointless and that positive things never last. We live in a world with unlimited potential for suffering after all with the chance of things getting worse at any moment. Best wishes.