Too much of a loser to even be a stupid druggie, FML

[cinderdust]

The only thing that would make life worth sticking around for would be getting high out of my mind, but even that's not a possibility when I'm so completely and utterly isolated. I tried going to an alternative music event type thing once, everyone looked at me like I was some freak sperg and I went home deciding that I would never, EVER try and make friends again. I'm too much of a fucking loser to even become a fucking junkie. It's really pathetic. I'm so insanely jealous of anyone with irl friends. The closest thing I can get to that is meaningless hookups and even then I usually end up getting ghosted. Hopefully I can get some h or k off the DN before I die, it would numb the pain a little at least.

 

[Alex Fermentopathy]

So a social isolation is your reason to CTB?

 

[cinderdust]

So a social isolation is your reason to CTB?

Essentially yes. Other factors also make it tempting (health issues, no real career or educational goals, trauma from miserable home life, etc.) but if I had friends or a partner it would probably be a decent enough distraction to keep me going for a couple more years. I have nothing and no one to help me cope with my current situation, and I simply don't wish to prolong my misery any longer.

 

[Ash]

*high five from Losers' Corner*

I once fainted after smoking a few drags on a joint. And I hallucinated something rotten on a small dose of amitriptyline.

I live in a rough area with a lot of druggies and sometimes they annoy the hell out of me, sometimes I feel huge empathy for them, sometimes I envy them. Especially the ones that OD. And people turn out and line the streets for the hearse. But I'm the loser?

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

I can't even smoke marijuana anymore because it caused me to develop psychosis which got me hospitalized and injected with antipsychotics against my will, which is the reason I'm here now.

I really wish it never caused stuff like that as it was one of the best things ever at the time. I have no escape now.

 

[Alex Fermentopathy]

By the way, I have read somewhere that it is easy to find drugs in every city: just ask a homeless person.