Discussion Too lazy/unmotivated to CTB?

[Fadeawaaaay]

Easier to discuss then do

 

[Snake of Eden]

You are not lazy. As FuneralCry always say "We are programmed to live, it is hard to ctb". If you are not under any acute type of pain or threat such as facing homelessness or excruciating pain then you are less likely to do it. in reality you are bored, anhedonic and apathetic. You dont really want to die but you know you will have to take the matter with your hands at some point. There is no rush to ctb. You live once afterall.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

You are not lazy. As FuneralCry always say "We are programmed to live, it is hard to ctb". If you are not under any acute type of pain or threat such as facing homelessness or excruciating pain them you are less likely to do it. in reality you are bored, anhedonic and apathetic. You dont really want to die but you know you will have to take the matter with your hands at some point. There is no rush to ctb. You live once afterall.

It's hard to motivate myself to do something that is scary/complicated/depressing… Lots of disincentives. Lying on the couch is easier.

 

[Snake of Eden]

It's hard to motivate myself to do something that is scary/complicated/depressing… Lots of disincentives. Lying on the couch is easier.

I hear you. You are not the only one. It is hard to motivate ourselves to do the unthinkable when it is so easy to just relax and be indifferent to the world or ourselves. The good thing is that you can ctb at anytime. Unless your suffering is truely unbearable then why go through the horror of ending your own life

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I hear you. You are not the only one. It is hard to motivate ourselves to do the unthinkable when it is so easy to just relax and be indifferent to the world or ourselves. The good thing is that you can ctb at anytime. Unless your suffering is truely unbearable then why go through the horror of ending your own life

I think it's bearable right now… But it would be wise to organize the materials so that they are handy when the moment arrives…

Also I was a little frightened when the server went down a couple times yesterday… I was concerned that somehow the powers that be were shutting everything down… Which would make this whole process even more difficult… It's good to have the support -logistical an otherwise

 

[mrhighwaysend]

i feel you, im a location away from being ready. i have my method, mentally im prepped for today to be the day, but i havent booked a hotel room yet

 

[Snake of Eden]

the powers that be were shutting everything down…

Alright, I think you want to have your method ready then just in case. Procuring my N as fast as I knew how to get it gave me alot of relief that anytime things can go unbearable I have a peaceful and easy exit. Things can go wrong with this website anytime or the supply for the methods.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Alright, I think you want to have your method ready then just in case. Procuring my N as fast as I knew how to get it gave me alot of relief that anytime things can go unbearable I have a peaceful and easy exit. Things can go wrong with this website anytime or the supply for the methods.

You are wise. And organized.

 

[Smart No More]

Yeah, I got a bit panicked when the site was down so long. It could vanish and never come back. I was trying to source an alternative or back up with no joy. For me, I'm in a kind of holding phase waiting for the time to ctb. I can't do it around the holidays and birthdays of loved ones so I'm trying to hold out for my birthday. This forum acts as a kind of buffer in the meanwhile. I'd be a bit lost without it I think. I didn't realise quite how much until it was offline for hours and I considered the possibility it may be gone.

 

[rationaltake]

I think it's bearable right now… But it would be wise to organize the materials so that they are handy when the moment arrives…

Hope you don't mind me asking. Do you feel things could improve for you? I get the impression a lot of your problems are due to circumstances?

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Hope you don't mind me asking. Do you feel things could improve for you? I get the impression a lot of your problems are due to circumstances?

I don't mind you asking. It's kind of you to take an interest.
Things COUlD improve - That would require me getting up off the couch.
My career is pretty stalled out and I'm in my 50s so that's tough.
My standard of living took a massive hit.
My girlfriend ditched me- I'm single.
I'm not really motivated or inspired to reinvent myself at this late date. Any sense of adventure and possibility is gone. Most of my friends are gone. Moving forward would be merely survival.
My friends are worried and trying to save me… But I'm burnt… Going to sleep not waking up seems a lot more attractive right now…
As they say in the movies… "I'm getting too old for this shit. "

 

[Snake of Eden]

I don't mind you asking. It's kind of you to take an interest.
Things COUlD improve - That would require me getting up off the couch.
My career is pretty stalled out and I'm in my 50s so that's tough.
My standard of living took a massive hit.
My girlfriend ditched me- I'm single.
I'm not really motivated or inspired to reinvent myself at this late date. Any sense of adventure and possibility is gone. Most of my friends are gone. Moving forward would be merely survival.
My friends are worried and trying to save me… But I'm burnt… Going to sleep not waking up seems a lot more attractive right now…
As they say in the movies… "I'm getting too old for this shit. "

I totally understand where you are coming from. At one point you got to be brutally honest with yourself about your circumstances and what you want versus what you can achieve. It is just not worth it for some people to put in the effort when there is no incentive at the end of the tunnel. I dont think there is anything negative about surrendering with white flag if thats the case. Life just beats some people that way. It is what it is

 

[bed]

Yeah, I got a bit panicked when the site was down so long. It could vanish and never come back. I was trying to source an alternative or back up with no joy. For me, I'm in a kind of holding phase waiting for the time to ctb. I can't do it around the holidays and birthdays of loved ones so I'm trying to hold out for my birthday. This forum acts as a kind of buffer in the meanwhile. I'd be a bit lost without it I think. I didn't realise quite how much until it was offline for hours and I considered the possibility it may be gone.

They have a twitter btw, they usually let you know when the site goes down for maintenance. I assume they'd post a new domain on there if this one was taken down.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I totally understand where you are coming from. At one point you got to be brutally honest with yourself about your circumstances and what you want versus what you can achieve. It is just not worth it for some people to put in the effort when there is no incentive at the end of the tunnel. I dont think there is anything negative about surrendering with white flag if thats the case. Life just beats some people that way. It is what it is

Everybody has different levels of resilience.
I was just hanging out with my buddy. He's on his way to being flat broke but he's still full of beans. Trying this. Trying that. Fighting to keep his head above water.
I'm different.I've always been a depressive. Taking amazing opportunities and blowing them, overwhelmed by anxiety.
Growing up I should've been involved in competitive sports and learned how to fight and win. But I grew up alienated and angst ridden, Self doubting and second-guessing and quitting when things got difficult.

It's hard to imagine I'm going to reinvent my personality type at this late date. If I had a family and I was fighting to save them I could see doing just about anything To put food on the table. But I don't. And I really don't care about myself all that much.
I would love to participate in the beauty and excitement of the world out there. But I don't have the resources.

I totally understand where you are coming from. At one point you got to be brutally honest with yourself about your circumstances and what you want versus what you can achieve. It is just not worth it for some people to put in the effort when there is no incentive at the end of the tunnel. I dont think there is anything negative about surrendering with white flag if thats the case. Life just beats some people that way. It is what it is

I don't think I ever really knew what I wanted to be when I grew up… So I just stumbled along… Success generally requires tremendous focus and effort… If you don't bring that to the game you'll get eaten alive…

 

[Crazy4u]

I hear you. I'm too lazy to finish my CTB plan. I get distracted

 

[rationaltake]

I don't mind you asking. It's kind of you to take an interest.
Things COUlD improve - That would require me getting up off the couch.
My career is pretty stalled out and I'm in my 50s so that's tough.
My standard of living took a massive hit.
My girlfriend ditched me- I'm single.
I'm not really motivated or inspired to reinvent myself at this late date. Any sense of adventure and possibility is gone. Most of my friends are gone. Moving forward would be merely survival.
My friends are worried and trying to save me… But I'm burnt… Going to sleep not waking up seems a lot more attractive right now…
As they say in the movies… "I'm getting too old for this shit. "

I get it. You'd need some sort of mojo to get going. I'm sorry you're in this situation.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I'm not even really depressed… I just have zero motivation to fix/improve my life.
To make real the kind of life I'd like to have is simply Beyond my capabilities.
To check out And self-destruct is easier …

 

[Need2Escape]

I'm not even really depressed… I just have zero motivation to fix/improve my life.
To make real the kind of life I'd like to have is simply Beyond my capabilities.
To check out And self-destruct is easier …

I know how you feel. I am in a very similar situation.

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

Easier to discuss then do

Thought it was just me

 

[Bodydysmorphia]

I don't have the energy to do really anything. F*ck depression

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide really is so difficult after all and just because someone feels like they are unable to go through with it does not necessarily mean that they are lazy. I think that a peaceful death should be a human right and nobody should have to go through the struggle of researching methods on the internet. There is also the fear of failure and risk of being found too soon, which is what holds me back from attempting. We will all die someday and life is completely meaningless after all, so to me it is wrong to deny people ways to die.

 

[chloramine]

I don't think true laziness exists. Everyone here is talking about it as a lack of motivation or energy and. That's not laziness. That's having barriers or obstructions that you aren't in a place to deal with. It seems more like you're exhausted and protecting what scraps of energy you do have. Also trying to ctb takes so much effort. Even just the act itself- never mind all the logistics of notes and planning

 

[Smart No More]

I don't think true laziness exists. Everyone here is talking about it as a lack of motivation or energy and. That's not laziness. That's having barriers or obstructions that you aren't in a place to deal with. It seems more like you're exhausted and protecting what scraps of energy you do have. Also trying to ctb takes so much effort. Even just the act itself- never mind all the logistics of notes and planning

Saying this with love as I relate to what you're saying it and why. I have to say I think that's the view of somebody that's had motivational issues themselves but good ethics, ultimately holding yourself to task. I'm with you on the fact that there's more to perceived laziness in some cases. However we tend to assume everyone is blessed with our own instinctive motivating factors. Unfortunately some people are very self serviving out of selfishness and these people don't hold themselves to the type of moral code you appear to yourself. They are the types of people who will display genuine laziness even when they have people relying and actively waiting on them. So bless you for doing it, but don't adorn everyone with your particular virtues. They're not held by many. And I'm afraid genuine laziness does in fact exist.

 

[chloramine]

Saying this with love as I relate to what you're saying it and why. I have to say I think that's the view of somebody that's had motivational issues themselves but good ethics, ultimately holding yourself to task. I'm with you on the fact that there's more to perceived laziness in some cases. However we tend to assume everyone is blessed with our own instinctive motivating factors. Unfortunately some people are very self serviving out of selfishness and these people don't hold themselves to the type of moral code you appear to yourself. They are the types of people who will display genuine laziness even when they have people relying and actively waiting on them. So bless you for doing it, but don't adorn everyone with your particular virtues. They're not held by many. And I'm afraid genuine laziness does in fact exist.

Oh there are definitely people who won't do things for reasons outside of energy or motivation, but I'm not sure those qualify as laziness either? If someone says "here's this thing I'm supposed to do, but I think it's stupid/not worth it/whatever" that's also not necessarily laziness. Making a decision to not do something for whatever reason doesn't feel like it fits into the category either I guess? At least for my understanding of laziness. As soon as you want to do whatever thing and then don't then it feels like there are other factors. And if you don't want to and so are making a decision to not, it's hard to attribute that to laziness without knowing why- whether it be that they don't care or they have other priorities, etc.
I think as soon as someone wants to do something, but for whatever reason finds themselves unable to or stuck then it's not laziness, which is when I've seen people most often break out that label in my own life

 

[obafgkm]

The peaceful methods mentioned here are so complicated, involving buying from unknown internet sources, and possibly being questioned for reasons. It tiring even to think about it. I can only wait for one of these things to become legalized and widely available one day. That means doing nothing again.

 

[SleepingGirl]

God I'm glad I'm not the only one. I can't die right away but the procrastination is real on obtaining anything for when the time comes or emergency. Trying to learn how to obtain crypto while actively too tired and depressed to do anything is a big climb.

 

[8evergo]

Thought it was just me

My dear one day you have to make the decision that you can't get out anymore and you're reluctant to get out further, you have to get to the point where I know it's been fantastically successful for me. I have a beautiful wife and kids (already over 17 and criminal) but i should have done it its been a long time now i am chronically ill and totally sucks and dislikes add to that and a shitty family life i would have done to you sooner me regret i shouldn't have done it a long time ago now i am age shows take your time i regret i haven't done it yet

 

[OnlySleep]

As other posters have said, I don't think it's a question of laziness, but one of depression. It's very hard to go through the actually very demanding steps involved in killing oneself in a reliable way while wanting to kill oneself. Wanting to die is paralysing and it is much easier to lie in bed hoping to die. This isn't laziness or even necessarily lack of resolve. If I had two bottles of N I'd drink them right now.

 

[Slimetae]

I have no way to ctb since I have no money to . I have no motivation to get money to ctb or do anything so I guess in a way i just gave up hoping some shit would take me out .