Too high self-worth to kill myself

[NonDefaultOption]

I agree OP I have had all of the thoughts you have had and then I think about how artificial intelligence is going to be the next savior of the earth etc. I do not think aliens who eat humans would keep women to impregnate though they would just grow them from our tissue so they would not have to caretake us, like how humans are trying to grow lab meat now. I guess being a philosopher doesn't make you special it just makes you a critical thinker. What is special is figuring out genuine solutions to problems.

Idk.. I don't think being a philosopher makes you a critical thinker. I mean it can in a way, but is it true criticalness if your critique doesn't have the kind of substance that can shift peoples' perspective? Words are used to communicate, so what use is it to speak from a different standpoint than the other person? I see a lot of people who seem to think of themselves as critical thinkers stick to their own standpoint and not try to see the world from the other person's eyes nor engage them on their field. Being in your own box doesn't make you much more critical in my opinion.

To really be a critical thinker, I think you have to extend the criticism to your own thought world. Because that's what you expect others to go through when you engage them in a debate or a more meaningful conversation.

I've been so bad at this that it's unreal, due to lack of self-esteem. I only made progress after I had psychosis = hallucinations and dealt with it: that allowed me to gain a real insight on how wrong I can really be about my reality, which in turn enabled me to question myself more effectively and productively. Questioning for the sake of putting someone else's view down is inferior to questioning in order to elevate someone's quality of life. This is a recent thing to me and things like these aren't learned purely through theory, I really think you need practice too to make it more effective and to last longer. To assume things you haven't experienced is very dangerous, in the sense that you can lose much by putting your hope on certain things and on ignoring certain things, like I used to put my hope on my logical mind being able to tell the difference between a hallucination and reality because I scored 130 in IQ test, and ignored the warning of a holistic health guru who said that experience is everything, as well as the warning that people who experience mental health problems themselves make the best psychologists.

It's natural for the human mind to coach itself to be more confident in itself and to tell itself things in the best light for itself. To sugarcoat things, so you wouldn't be so stressed-out. It's a healthy mechanism on short term, gets you through the day, but it's also a trap if you can't step out of it.

 

[FreedomInDeath]

That was greatly written NonDefaultOption, thanks for the reply!

 

[MoreThanAFeeling]

I have so high self-worth and feel better than everyone else because of my 'awoken mind'

I don't think people with great minds like Einstein, Heisenberg, or Hawking, considered themselves better than the next man. Also, these gentlemen actually achieved something with their 'awoken minds'.
Thinking heavily about the world around you makes you just an observer nothing more. But I guess in your own world you can be anything. Enjoy.

 

[RedDEE]

What is it that you think you know that everyone else doesn't? You keep talking about the atrocities of the world, you think people don't realize them? Everyone knows that life sucks and then you die, it's common knowledge.

Here you are sitting at home using an internet connection owned by a corporation. The clothes you're wearing were made by slave labor in China, and sold to you at 1000% of the price it cost to produce, lining cash in the pockets of those already super rich. And you think you're not a sheep?

Merely having knowledge of the way things are doesn't stop you from being a sheep. Life is an intricate trap designed to keep you imprisoned and enslaved until the day you die. If you are so super smart, mr genius intellectual man, what are you going to do to free us sheep? How are you going to enlighten us with your wisdom? Please, do tell us the secrets of the universe so our minds can reach the level of an enlightened buddha guru sensei master such as yourself.

 

[SugarbushMtn]

I don't want to be rude but you really are not nearly the first person to notice these things or come up with these ideas, you could pull aside anybody in a vegan cafe and have a chat about the horrors of factory farming and the legal animal cruelty that goes on in the "civilized world", or go to an environmentalist protest and every single person could tell you these same things. Men have compared their race to a virus for thousands of years, your "superior mind" and viewing of the masses as ignorant sheep reminds me of a philosophy 101 student learning about the injustice in the world, raising up his hands screaming "Where are the torches and pitchforks?". Most people are powerless in the face of global capitalism and too exhausted from the constant barrage of information about it, and just want to enjoy what good things they can have.

I agree, nothing new here. Lots of this going around for a long long time.

 

[FohPah]

When you pass someone on the sidewalk and they're just silently walking by you, would they be worth more to you in that moment if they're silently thinking about the evils that went into the production of the asphalt of the road than if they're silently getting excited for the next Marvel movie? Does it make a difference to you at all, in that moment?

If not, then why does the focus of your thoughts change how much you're worth to yourself?

 

[MartyByrde]

When not in the midst of a global pandemic, what do you normally do with your time?

Just my opinion, but you sound bored. What you write about isn't philosophical, so much as it sounds like stoned thoughts.

Your wrist measurement turns women off? Never in my life have I ever heard of a woman being concerned about such things. How many men even know their wrist measurement?

Have you considered therapy? Sounds like you have several significant issues. One of which is substance abuse. Alcohol combined with benzoes on a regular basis will seriously fuck up your life.