Venting Too depressed to live, not depressed enough to die

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

I'm too depressed to enjoy life, but not depressed enough that I would actually commit suicide. I'm stuck in between life and death. It feels like my problems are overwhelming, but the reality is that they aren't, otherwise I wouldn't be alive right now. I want to either get better or get worse so I'm finally driven to suicide, I don't want to live in this fucking purgatory...

I wonder if it's true that most suicides are impulsive. And that the only reason so many people do it is because of alcohol. But I don't drink and I'm the least impulsive person ever, so I guess I'm stuck here.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be tiring what you go through but anyway I wish you all the best in whatever happens.

 

[tsykoais]

i truly feel the same way op, it's hard. it's like being stuck underwater but you can't drown.

 

[drag201]

Same here. I always thought that people who commit do it in an impulsive state of mind, too. I'm so tired of being alive and everything stresses me out but honestly so does the mere thought of going and killing myself. I want to do it and I've fantasized about it day and night and it's the only thing I'm sure I want to do in life yet I lack the courage to do it, I want to overcome it because I know I'll be a thousand times more miserable if I force myself to keep living through it.
I drink a lot and personally it doesn't help with actively (physically) wanting to kill myself. I guess that's subjective.
I hope you're feeling better, take care

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

I hear you. I was in a place like that for a while.
Then I thought I hit rock bottom.
And then I hit the real rock bottom. This time it's for real.