Venting Too busy to kill self and potential plan.

[futurebuscatcher]

Stupid mini vent. It's so annoying.

The help I'm trying to get isn't helping or I can't do. The meds feel like they're working minimally. I'm still having mood swings

I've sorta practiced a few ways to to hang myself without risk of actually dying and if felt odd. Scary but in a way reliving.

All of my friends are bark no bite saying how much they wanna die and laugh me off. I'm gonna bite eventually. I have. Doesn't help I also have a few are psychology student friends acting like they know shit. I'm not them and I don't want to speak on their struggles but some of them are so surprised at what depression actually entails and it makes me wonder how they hell they want to tell me how to feel. I barely have respect for psychology professionals to begin with

I promised I would make an attempt snd document it and share my experience, but I'm just so tired and swear it's never ending with certain things I feel I have to do

I still think I'm gonna at least try in February or on a school break and follow that plan I made in a previous post. I still hope to make a practice run and document it for you all but I'm so tired man. I hate it here.

Maybe I can add a few more things to my plan？Like adding a plastic back over my head and taking SN and other pharmaceutical drugs. I've also been trying to figure out how to get a gun in CA but idk how and it seems expensive. Idk. Thoughts? Comments? I just wanted to get this off my chest.

 

[lost_one]

I am sorry about the way you are feeling, I have my issues with psychology, mostly the way it is handled as a miracle cure for things and that psychologists act as if they know a lot more than they actually do. I am sorry about your friends, I never liked the way people said frivolously "that they wish they were dead", When I am really sad about the fact that I really want to die. Good luck wish whatever you decide

 

[futurebuscatcher]

I am sorry about the way you are feeling, I have my issues with psychology, mostly the way it is handled as a miracle cure for things and that psychologists act as if they know a lot more than they actually do. I am sorry about your friends, I never liked the way people said frivolously "that they wish they were dead", When I am really sad about the fact that I really want to die. Good luck wish whatever you decide

I just feel a lil bad cause I did day I'd do an in depth post/test with hanging and then report my findings and here I am