Method Tonight is the night

[BleedingHeart]

I think I'm all set to CTB with SN tonight. I think I have my plan all laid out. Right now I'm a little numb and sitting here passing time just laying down. But I'm also scared. I'm worried for my family. I'm scared that I'll fail or feel pain. I'm worried that I will feel suffocation if I don't pass out quickly enough. Any reassurance would be great.
I'm also worried I could cry out. I'm going to try not to though. it's going to be lonely going through this...

 

[angele]

I'm sorry, I wish I could wave a magic wand and be there to help. You might feel lonely, but that doesn't mean you are alone. You at the very least have all of us supporting you and wishing you luck.

Aaaaaand, the obligatory "it's not too late" part. If you aren't sure, don't do it.

But we'll all support your decision and I hope you find what you're looking for <3

 

[BleedingHeart]

@Stan @BPD_LE so I'm using milk of magnesia as the anti acid , which you mentioned allows the SN to move to the small intensive to be absorbed in the bloodstream. (Good.) But I also read on the forum that using an anti acid prevents you from losing consciousness? I'm afraid of feeling suffocation. Any clarity or comfort on my CTB day? Thanks so much

 

[SoupSnakes]

Please don't feel like you'll be going through this alone, we'll all be here for you should you need us, whether you decide to do it or not x

 

[BleedingHeart]

Please don't feel like you'll be going through this alone, we'll all be here for you should you need us, whether you decide to do it or not x

Thank you! I appreciate it.
I wish I didn't have to do this and I wish when I die my family would be with me but that won't be the case.
I am unsure if I'll be online when I CTB though because I am afraid i might be tempted to call for help or text someone. So I might be alone even though I know I have folks in spirit. Thank you

 

[passenger27]

Good luck to you and may you be at peace with your decision.

 

[BleedingHeart]

Good luck to you and may you be at peace with your decision.

Thank you. I wouldn't say I'm at peace but I feel it's my only option so I'm trying to come to terms.

 

[Soul]

I'm sorry about everything that's led you to this, and sorry I can't answer your questions about the finer details. All I have to offer are (((hugs))) and well-wishes, whatever you decide to do. Journey well x

 

[BleedingHeart]

I'm sorry about everything that's led you to this, and sorry I can't answer your questions about the finer details. All I have to offer are (((hugs))) and well-wishes, whatever you decide to do. Journey well x

Thank you for the hugs and well wishes. I appreciate it.

 

[BrokenAngel8]

I wish you smooth sailing.. Life is tough, you fought hard. I am sorry I couldn't answer your detail questions although we have same preffered method. I would just follow the dosage recommendation and let everything happen. Too much questions will just worsen my SI. I cried myself on lonelyness just thinking of my day. Hugs.

 

[BPD_LE]

@Stan @BPD_LE so I'm using milk of magnesia as the anti acid , which you mentioned allows the SN to move to the small intensive to be absorbed in the bloodstream. (Good.) But I also read on the forum that using an anti acid prevents you from losing consciousness? I'm afraid of feeling suffocation. Any clarity or comfort on my CTB day? Thanks so much

Your antacid is fine. The study I believe you are referring to was written in 1994. I'd have to check but I'm not even sure it was conducted with humans in mind. You will not feel suffocation. The Milk of Magnesia is perfectly fine to use.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Peace and smooth journey.

 

[noctiva]

I just bought milk of magnesia myself! I think it's an ideal choice. It's fast acting, unlike the proton pump inhibitors, and seems to taste okay, too.
You will pass out, and relatively quickly, don't worry about that. Only one of the multiple pathways that will lead to you passing out will be prevented through the milk of magnesia (or any antacid for that matter). If I understood it correctly, high HCl in the stomach + NaNO2 can lead to the development of a gaseous compound, nitric oxide NO, which can make you pass out. But this reaction also leads to a decrease in NaNO2 in your stomach and intestine. So by taking an antacid, you do not get as much reduction in NaNO2 in your stomach and more SN gets absorbed in your intestine.

Stan explained it here in his guide: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-a-comprehensive-guide-including-method.25148/post-457902

I hope you will find the peace you're longing for

 

[LMLN]

I'm sorry you've had to come to this decision. We are here to talk whenever you need.
Peace you whatever you decide to do.
❤❤❤

 

[Stan]

@Stan @BPD_LE so I'm using milk of magnesia as the anti acid , which you mentioned allows the SN to move to the small intensive to be absorbed in the bloodstream. (Good.) But I also read on the forum that using an anti acid prevents you from losing consciousness? I'm afraid of feeling suffocation. Any clarity or comfort on my CTB day? Thanks so much

Sorry that the world brought you to this point and that you find some comfort with us over the next few hours. Hoping for a nice and easy transition for you. Antacid does not stop you from losing consciousness.

 

[BleedingHeart]

I wish you smooth sailing.. Life is tough, you fought hard. I am sorry I couldn't answer your detail questions although we have same preffered method. I would just follow the dosage recommendation and let everything happen. Too much questions will just worsen my SI. I cried myself on lonelyness just thinking of my day. Hugs.

Thank you for caring. I hope you won't be lonely. Hugs

Your antacid is fine. The study I believe you are referring to was written in 1994. I'd have to check but I'm not even sure it was conducted with humans in mind. You will not feel suffocation. The Milk of Magnesia is perfectly fine to use.

Yeah I'm not sure of the study; a few people had quoted it but there was no source link. Just wasn't sure about conflicting info. Thank you

Peace and smooth journey.

Thank you.

I just bought milk of magnesia myself! I think it's an ideal choice. It's fast acting, unlike the proton pump inhibitors, and seems to taste okay, too.
You will pass out, and relatively quickly, don't worry about that. Only one of the multiple pathways that will lead to you passing out will be prevented through the milk of magnesia (or any antacid for that matter). If I understood it correctly, high HCl in the stomach + NaNO2 can lead to the development of a gaseous compound, nitric oxide NO, which can make you pass out. But this reaction also leads to a decrease in NaNO2 in your stomach and intestine. So by taking an antacid, you do not get as much reduction in NaNO2 in your stomach and more SN gets absorbed in your intestine.

Stan explained it here in his guide: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-a-comprehensive-guide-including-method.25148/post-457902

I hope you will find the peace your longing for

Thank you so much! Peace to you

I'm sorry you've had to come to this decision. We are here to talk whenever you need.
Peace you whatever you decide to do.
❤❤❤

Thank you.

Sorry that the world brought you to this point and that you find some comfort with us over the next few hours. Hoping for a nice and easy transition for you. Antacid does not stop you from losing consciousness.

Thank you for all your help and well wishes

 

[I'm exhausted]

Even though it pains me to say goodbye without knowing what you've been through, I'm sure this wasn't an easy decision for you. But with that being said, it's okay if you couldn't go through with it. We are here for you and support your decision. YOU know what's best for you. I wish you a safe journey and know you are loved. Sending my prayers to you.

 

[MeltingHeart]

hey heart, we've chatted a little via posts back&forth, will be here for chats if you need tonight also. but sending you calm and well wishes either way.

 

[BleedingHeart]

Even though it pains me to say goodbye without knowing what you've been through, I'm sure this wasn't an easy decision for you. But with that being said, it's okay if you couldn't go through with it. We are here for you and support your decision. YOU know what's best for you. I wish you a safe journey and know you are loved. Sending my prayers to you.

Thank you so much. My story feels too complicated and I'm tired. Thank you for your support and kindness.

hey heart, we've chatted a little via posts back&forth, will be here for chats if you need tonight also. but sending you calm and well wishes either way.

Thank you so much. Not sure how much I'll be on but if I am, it's good to know people are here.

 

[Shivani]

Hope you find peace ...

 

[MourningHeart]

I'm sorry that this has to be your way out. Hopefully you will be free of all your anxiety and pain soon. I wish you a smooth, calm and peaceful journey.

 

[AnxiouslyDepressed]

Not much to add other than what everyone else has already said. Sending my best wishes and peace. We are here for you whatever you decide.

 

[okaoki]

wish you a peaceful and smooth exit

 

[BleedingHeart]

Hope you find peace ...

Thank you.

I'm sorry that this has to be your way out. Hopefully you will be free of all your anxiety and pain soon. I wish you a smooth, calm and peaceful journey.

Thank you. I hope my family forgives me.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm sorry it's come to this I wish you didn't have to do this. Remember you can back out. If you go then I wish you luck as you enter the clearing at the end of the path.

 

[BleedingHeart]

Not much to add other than what everyone else has already said. Sending my best wishes and peace. We are here for you whatever you decide.

Thank you.

I'm sorry it's come to this I wish you didn't have to do this. Remember you can back out. If you go then I wish you luck as you enter the clearing at the end of the path.

Thank you so much

wish you a peaceful and smooth exit

Thank you

 

[malummo]

wish you a peaceful journey

 

[jgm63]

Wishing you a safe journey if you decide to proceed.

 

[WhiteDespair]

Besy wishes @BleedingHeart. May we meet again under more favorable circumstances. Good luck on whatever path you happen to choose.

 

[Hangm4n]

Whatever you choose good luck :)