Tonight is the night

[FionaWR]

I have n at the post office. I don't want it anymore. If your reasons are good. It's yours. But please as said. Get some rest and have a good think. Cause in the time it's took me to get N I've changed my mind

 

[thesongbird]

if your family loves you then you'll devastate them by doing this. are you having second thoughts about this?

If someone actually loved a person would they respect that persons choice to commit suicide? Or is love purely selfish. I have no say in the matter, Ive never seen it.

 

[Watcher]

They say you shouldn't make rash decisions when youre in crisis. I had a crisis on Sunday, and I've had time to think rationally about this for months off and on. I'm ready to die, hopefully my attempt at partial suspension hanging will work and i won't have to suffer anymore.

I've lost everything that meant something to me. I was dating a (fellow male) childhood friend who broke it off in January. I have begged him to give me a chance, not to leave me like everyone else has. Eventually he called me a lunatic, and said he'd call the police if I contacted him again.
I've lost my home, my job, my cocaine use is out of control, my family see me as a burden, and my friends aren't calling any more. I'm 26, I wish my life had more meaning and i wish i had faith that things would get better. But my journey up to this point was hard enough. I see now it's only going to get harder.

Making the decision to kill myself is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but going on living like this would be harder. I hope it works, I hope I die in a few hours time after my parents have gone to bed. It's the only way to finally be free, I see it now.

I wasn't on this forum for very long, but its been of some kind of comfort knowing that not everyone in the world thinks I'm selfish for what I'm about to do. I just want to be at peace now

By what you wrote, I think you may be suffering BPD (borderline personality disorder) it's common, I suffered my last crysis a few months ago. A lot of (in general, not just the bpd's) us are going through hard times. I wish you, everything will end up all right. Goodbye!

 

[bruisedmind]

By what you wrote, I think you may be suffering BPD (borderline personality disorder) it's common, I suffered my last crysis a few months ago. A lot of (in general, not just the bpd's) us are going through hard times. I wish you, everything will end up all right. Goodbye!

You're spot on actually, that's what they say I have.

I wish it was a simple decision. These thoughts are so intrusive, I'm thinking of hanging myself again this morning, like I was thinking of doing it last night before I got so tired I fell asleep

 

[Letmego. Please]

@bruisedmind

Hi, sorry to have read about you struggling last night, but i for one am glad you are still here this morning. Please give yourself a chance to kind to yourself.
One of the things i learnt slowly at your age was that like you i was desperate to be loved by someone rather than used, but the thing is you have to have some like of yourself, accept who you are, scars & all, the past as distressing as it can be is just that, the past unless you bring it with you.

Please please go to your Gp & get some support for your drug & emotions, as @Watcher says Bpd sounds possible & with help you can find a more stable way of living & loving

((Hugs))

 

[omoidarui]

If someone actually loved a person would they respect that persons choice to commit suicide? Or is love purely selfish. I have no say in the matter, Ive never seen it.

Quite a multi-layered question with two sides.. I'd say if it's selfish not to euthanise a suffering animal, is it then not also selfish not to respect a suffering person's Right to Die?

On the other hand... committing suicide to avoid suffering is not unlike trying to keep a loved one alive to avoid the suffering associated with losing them. So if the former, as we know, isn't selfish, how can the latter be considered selfish?

Personally, I'll always believe in Right to Die. Selfishness is such a vague concept, whereas it's completely black-and-white that it's our life, and therefore our decision what we do with it.

 

[bruisedmind]

God I feel low tonight. It never seems to end

 

[Letmego. Please]

@bruisedmind

How are you doing today?
Sorry i know how shit it feels

 

[bruisedmind]

@bruisedmind

How are you doing today?
Sorry i know how shit it feels

A little calmer, thank you. I did a bunch of coke yesterday which only ever gives a temporary lift. My mum found the cord I've been practising hanging with, but I've decided to go down the aspirin OD route. If its good enough for Mel B's attempt a few years ago, why not me eh

 

[omoidarui]

you saw Piers Morgan too? in regards to that route - according to the literature we have it's unreliable and non-peaceful

 

[bruisedmind]

you saw Piers Morgan too? in regards to that route - according to the literature we have it's unreliable and non-peaceful

Yeah I did. Being similar in many ways to Mel B was eye opening. Many if i had kids of my own and money in the bank I'd stop wanting to kill myself like shes stopped

 

[andy69]

They say you shouldn't make rash decisions when youre in crisis. I had a crisis on Sunday, and I've had time to think rationally about this for months off and on. I'm ready to die, hopefully my attempt at partial suspension hanging will work and i won't have to suffer anymore.

I've lost everything that meant something to me. I was dating a (fellow male) childhood friend who broke it off in January. I have begged him to give me a chance, not to leave me like everyone else has. Eventually he called me a lunatic, and said he'd call the police if I contacted him again.
I've lost my home, my job, my cocaine use is out of control, my family see me as a burden, and my friends aren't calling any more. I'm 26, I wish my life had more meaning and i wish i had faith that things would get better. But my journey up to this point was hard enough. I see now it's only going to get harder.

Making the decision to kill myself is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but going on living like this would be harder. I hope it works, I hope I die in a few hours time after my parents have gone to bed. It's the only way to finally be free, I see it now.

I wasn't on this forum for very long, but its been of some kind of comfort knowing that not everyone in the world thinks I'm selfish for what I'm about to do. I just want to be at peace now

I am going through the same thing. My partner of fifteen years (would have been sixteen Monday) left me when he met another man. I am forty-nine and currently unemployed. He was the only thing good going in my life and he abruptly left me. He didn't eve tell me. He just stopped calling me and after two weeks of calling and texting he finally answered the phone to tell me. It made me feel completely worthless, like garbage. It's as if our relationship meant nothing to him. I tried to kill myself the following day but failed.

I am going to try again soon, maybe this week. I definitely want to do it before I turn fifty in October.

You're young. You still have a chance to turn things around for the better.

 

[omoidarui]

Yeah I did. Being similar in many ways to Mel B was eye opening. Many if i had kids of my own and money in the bank I'd stop wanting to kill myself like shes stopped

Scary Spice was always my favourite.

 

[Anxiety/depression]

Hello mind. My son become an addict quite some time ago. His struggle was evident, and all his brother and I could do was wait. It made him so depressed, and suicidal. Well he has been clean for more than a year now, has a whole new set of friends and a lot more support, he is even getting back into the human rights sphere...smile. Have you looked up the medication Ibogaine Mind? It is an organic medicine that breaks through addiction very quickly. Ibogaine was unheard of until a year ago, at least to me, but it does have a very good reputation.
If you can check this avenue of release from the demon that binds you, you may find that hope does still exist...anyway...I am sorry to see your world come to this Mind. It is a terrible and tragic place to be. You are always welcome here...always. (((HUGS)))

Yes.

Ibogaine is a psychedelic which gives a fairly nauseating trip and i believe it only affects the opioid receptors

 

[Letmego. Please]

A little calmer, thank you. I did a bunch of coke yesterday which only ever gives a temporary lift. My mum found the cord I've been practising hanging with, but I've decided to go down the aspirin OD route. If its good enough for Mel B's attempt a few years ago, why not me eh

Glad to hear you are a little calmer, but i don't understand the Aspirin Od plan or it's relevance to a naff old pop star, for a start i obviously didn't work for her..

And it was something i tried many yrs ago now, very unpleasant, sick as dog, serious tinnitus, didn't attend hospital as didn't want help, just spent a couple of weeks thinking i really wish i hadn't of done that.

@andy69
Hey, kinda in the same situation just a bit further away from the initial heartbreak, my partner of 15yrs just left one day for some crazy yank he'd met on the internet.
It will hurt like nothing before, it destroys who you think you are because you have defined yourself by your relationship & now that is gone what are we? I'm a yr younger than you, & yes at first in reaction to my life being turned upside down i tried to curl up my toes, i tried maybe 3 times all resulting in me waking up in icu.

What you really need my friend & anyone else here who is here because of a relationship breakdown - Is time, give yourself time to process what it feels like to have your heart ripped out, your future destroyed & many other things @bruisedmind as i know you are in the Uk, hopefully Andy is too. You can go to relate by yourself to get help with processing all this grief.
And also as drinker i know that you using coke to distract you is not going to help, it just causes all the emotions to come back tenfold when you comedown or sober up.

But most of all do not let someone else selfish behaviour be the cause of you death, if they are that selfish in the first place then they won't give a toss about your death, might even amuse them.

Best wishes to you all ((Hugs))

 

[Samhain616]

I have n at the post office. I don't want it anymore. If your reasons are good. It's yours. But please as said. Get some rest and have a good think. Cause in the time it's took me to get N I've changed my mind

Hi Fiona do you still have that? Doing a lot of research and it seems like that's the way to go. If I can't get N then it's gonna be charcoal grill in car. I hope you're well and you still have peace

 

[Soul]

@bruisedmind, the only thing "the aspirin OD route" is good for is demonstrating dramatically that you need help. If that's your aim can't you find another way to communicate that - a way that won't leave you feeling so ill afterwards? For example voluntary admission to a psych ward?

@andy69 and @bruisedmind, here are hugs for you both.

 

[Karangel25]

I have n at the post office. I don't want it anymore. If your reasons are good. It's yours. But please as said. Get some rest and have a good think. Cause in the time it's took me to get N I've changed my mind

Could I have it