Today might be the day.

[BPDbitch]

I was planning on catching the bus at the end of the week/beginning of next week, but today I have more energy after a depressive episode and am going to head out and buy my rope. I feel oddly calm today, and my tiredness at life has finally surpassed the guilt for leaving my family, partner, and friends.

I have a couple of my journals with me, including one from 2015-16 which includes lots of details about how I intended to ctb back then. I wonder if leaving these would be a good idea to show that I haven't made my decision rashly?

 

[LostAllHope7651]

You have plenty of time if you want to wait and think about if you want to leave your journals and things... once done it can't be undone

 

[BPDbitch]

You have plenty of time if you want to wait and think about if you want to leave your journals and things... once done it can't be undone

I might leave some pages, but not all. The old one was when I was like 16-17 and there's some teenaged angsting in there I'd probably rather my parents didn't read

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I'm sorry your life is so bad that you're ready to CTB. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here.

 

[Anon2662]

I might leave some pages, but not all. The old one was when I was like 16-17 and there's some teenaged angsting in there I'd probably rather my parents didn't read

Yeah I would not want anyone to read anything I wrote at 16/17 on a serious note, just make sure you give yourself time to consider your decision. We're here for you no matter what!

 

[jgm63]

For hanging, this thread may have some good info :

Spoiler: hanging-comfortably

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/hanging-comfortably.28034/

There is also this one :

Spoiler: how-to-hang-yourself-improved-information

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/how-to-hang-yourself-improved-information.24972/

However, are you certain you have explored all possible options ?
What are the main problems you are facing ?
Perhaps there might be a solution.....

 

[BPDbitch]

For hanging, this thread may have some good info :

Spoiler: hanging-comfortably

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/hanging-comfortably.28034/

There is also this one :

Spoiler: how-to-hang-yourself-improved-information

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/how-to-hang-yourself-improved-information.24972/

However, are you certain you have explored all possible options ?
What are the main problems you are facing ?
Perhaps there might be a solution.....

Funnily I actually have had a decent life for the past couple of years (before then, not so much). Lovely partner, dream job etc. Still have a chronic empty feeling cause of BPD, and dislike life/think it is inherently meaningless.

 

[AlreadyGone]

Good Luck