Today might be the day

[beyondgone]

Been up all day and night drinking, agoraphobia has crippled me and I do not want to go on like this so I'm gonna take 1g of Amitriptyline, 5g of tramadol, 30mg Xanax and some AE to keep it all down, wash it down with the rest of the whiskey and hope I just drift off into nothingness

 

[davidtorez]

That sounds harsh mate. Not being to abld to leave the house etc. I had a friend here in this forum who I know irl who I've met up with countless times who overcame his agoraphobia eventually after 8 years of suffering. You think it is possible at all that you can take any step to try overcome this fear?

 

[beyondgone]

I have beat it before I can be "fine" for months or years but then it just comes out of no where , I have tried everything, meds therapy, exercise, healthy lifestyle and it just keeps coming back

 

[FadingSnowFake]

I'm sorry for your suffering, hope you find peace in the nothingness.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand just wanting to be free from all the suffering, I hope that you find the relief you search for.

 

[cali22♡]

Life was never easy....

Take care my human Friend

 

[beyondgone]

well I got woke up by my dad unlocking the door and coming in to grab something, he looked at me strange and said if I'd been partying to hard, I just told him i must have food poisoning or something, everything is so spiny can hardly keep my eyes open, just took more pills and gonna finish this bottle

 

[beyondgone]

well I got woke up by my dad unlocking the door and coming in to grab something, he looked at me strange and said if I'd been partying to hard, I just told him i must have food poisoning or something, everything is so spiny can hardly keep my eyes open, just took more pills and gonna finish this bottle

so im living with my dad but my nan has got ill so my dad is staying there to look after her, agoraphobia makes it impossible for me to be there as well and the whole situation has made me further solidify my reasons to ctb, I attempted just after posting this using the aforementioned method and evidently failed, however maybe 8 hours later i get woken up by the flat buzzer ringing, I ignore it then a couple minutes later I hear a key go into the door and my dad come walking in to "grab the rest of his weed" and I haven't spoken to him since I've tried to ring him but he didn't answer, maybe I was hallucinating and he didn't come home at all but that leaves more questions than answers for me.. im so desperate i was planning on sn from dmc but saw other people in my country getting welfare checks and it's put me off, my only options are cutting my wrists or train at this point