Today is my dad's B-DAY and I don't wanna ruin it!

[WornOutLife]

My dad's birthday has finally come. I'm really happy to be able to celebrate one more b-day with him but damn, I wish I could talk to him about how suicide is still on my mind or how I'm doing my best to live but some days I just wanna give up and ctb (such as last Sunday).

However, I won't ruin things. I gotta make him happy. I've bought him his favourite chocolate cake and edited a video with different moments of his life. I bet he'll cry like a baby lol.

Anybody else who has a birthday coming soon and gotta pretend they're okay?


Edit: He even thinks I'm not drinking alcohol anymore so, I had to hide one champagne bottle in my wardrobe lol. I don't want him to be sad!

 

[BornBrief]

I wish you both a wonderful day :)

 

[blue_muse]

@WornOutLife you're testament to detractors who say that suicidal people are all doom and gloom. The fact you're putting personal trials and tribulations aside for your Dad's birthday is touching .

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

I know it's not easy, but just pretend you are happy and he will be happy too. If you won't talk about suicide, which is such a taboo and misunderstood desire for most people, you won't ruin it at all. I can imagine how friendly person you are in real life.

I'm quite worried about your mom, because you said she suffers from schizophrenia and your Christmas wasn't enjoyable because of her. I hope she will be fine and you will be able to celebrate dad's birthday.

Happy birthday to your dad and have a great time with your family!

 

[prepetuallyperplexed]

My dad's birthday has finally come. I'm really happy to be able to celebrate one more b-day with him but damn, I wish I could talk to him about how suicide is still on my mind or how I'm doing my best to live but some days I just wanna give up and ctb (such as last Sunday).

However, I won't ruin things. I gotta make him happy. I've bought him his favourite chocolate cake and edited a video with different moments of his life. I bet he'll cry like a baby lol.

Anybody else who has a birthday coming soon and gotta pretend they're okay?


Edit: He even thinks I'm not drinking alcohol anymore so, I had to hide one champagne bottle in my wardrobe lol. I don't want him to be sad!

It sounds like you guys have a lovely relationship. I hope you're able to find some joy today and make some memories with your dad. Sending hugs

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Yeah it's my brother's birthday this weekend and even if it wasn't, mental illness just doesn't get discussed in our family get togethers, even though 2 out of the 6 of us will have been suffering for some time (me and my sister).

 

[WornOutLife]

I know it's not easy, but just pretend you are happy and he will be happy too. If you won't talk about suicide, which is such a taboo and misunderstood desire for most people, you won't ruin it at all. I can imagine how friendly person you are in real life.

I'm quite worried about your mom, because you said she suffers from schizophrenia and your Christmas wasn't enjoyable because of her. I hope she will be fine and you will be able to celebrate dad's birthday.

Happy birthday to your dad and have a great time with your family!

I'm so glad you remember I mentioned that. It feels really nice to be read and understood.
Thank you very much.
Yes, I hope my mom doesn't ruin everything. She won't be present because my dad will come to my apartment but sometimes she gets really paranoid and start making us lots of phone calls.
I'll make sure to have a nice day with my dad.

Hugs to you!



Everybody: Thank you very much for your kind and warm comments. You really help!

 

[avoid_slow_death]

You're a good dude. Way better person than I could ever be. And you are right about not talking to him about that on his special day, but, sigh.....

Put it this way....what would your dad want you to do? I know that's a tough question to follow through on, but, his wishes are important too. To me it sounds like you mean more to him than almost anything in this world. That is truly a beautiful and rare thing for a lot of us in here. Its like catching glimpse of a bright and powerful star acting as a wave of warmth in a otherwise pitch dark and cloud filled world. I really wish you luck bro. The world might be mostly garbage, but honestly, its people like you that make up some of the good life affirming moments that we all need. Would be a duller and more desolate planet if that light should happen to go out....

 

[WornOutLife]

You're a good dude. Way better person than I could ever be. And you are right about not talking to him about that on his special day, but, sigh.....

Put it this way....what would your dad want you to do? I know that's a tough question to follow through on, but, his wishes are important too. To me it sounds like you mean more to him than almost anything in this world. That is truly a beautiful and rare thing for a lot of us in here. Its like catching glimpse of a bright and powerful star acting as a wave of warmth in a otherwise pitch dark and cloud filled world. I really wish you luck bro. The world might be mostly garbage, but honestly, its people like you that make up some of the good life affirming moments that we all need. Would be a duller and more desolate planet if that light should happen to go out....

Thank you so much for these beautiful words! I will really take this into account!

Also, everyone: I really appreciate how nice your comments were! You gave me lots of positive energy and good vibes!

Fortunately, I had a great day with my dad yesterday. He's very happy because he says I look quite happy and organized, which is kinda true. I mean, I'm still suicidal but I'm somehow dealing with basic daily stuff such as studying, cleaning, working, etc.

Fighting depression is an everyday struggle but let's try to kick its ass!

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

Thank you so much for these beautiful words! I will really take this into account!

Also, everyone: I really appreciate how nice your comments were! You gave me lots of positive energy and good vibes!

Fortunately, I had a great day with my dad yesterday. He's very happy because he says I look quite happy and organized, which is kinda true. I mean, I'm still suicidal but I'm somehow dealing with basic daily stuff such as studying, cleaning, working, etc.

Fighting depression is an everyday struggle but let's try to kick its ass!

I'm glad to hear that.
Did he like the video and cry? I bet he did :)

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm glad to hear that.
Did he like the video and cry? I bet he did :)

Haha yeah! He cried like a baby!! He's really a good human! I'm lucky to have him in my life but I guess he is just not like me. I'm such a mess lol.

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

Haha yeah! He cried like a baby!! He's really a good human! I'm lucky to have him in my life but I guess he wasn't like with me. I'm such a mess lol.

Aww, that's cute! Why do you think he wasn't like with you? You are too hard on yourself. He certainly loves you and not just because you are his son. I bet he enjoyed the day with you.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Aww, that's cute! Why do you think he wasn't like with you? You are too hard on yourself. He certainly loves you and not just because you are his son. I bet he enjoyed the day with you.

What she said. You really are way too hard on yourself. People here seem to love you and reading your posts and replies in threads, I can see why. Bet you're even more well received in the real world as well.

 

[WornOutLife]

@ExhaustedExistence and @avoid_slow_death:
If you were right here with me I would hug you and buy you some booze or whatever you wanna drink and eat so that we can have a nice time together!
Thank you!!

 

[avoid_slow_death]

@ExhaustedExistence and @avoid_slow_death:
If you were right here with me I would hug you and buy you some booze or whatever you wanna drink and eat so that we can have a nice time together!
Thank you!!

Cool. Never tried Argentinan food, but would be willing to try! :)

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

@ExhaustedExistence and @avoid_slow_death:
If you were right here with me I would hug you and buy you some booze or whatever you wanna drink and eat so that we can have a nice time together!
Thank you!!

I would like to try champagne with some energy drinks :)

 

[WornOutLife]

I would like to try champagne with some energy drinks :)

Yess! You'll love that! You just get drunk and have LOTS OF ENERGY at the same time! It's so amazing! Mind you... the hangover next day is hell! lol


@avoid_slow_death

You will certainly have some "empanadas" and "milanesas". Gonna love that stuff!