Today Is Her Birthday And I Don't Know How I Can Get Through It

[KafkaF]

My previous girlfriend broke up with me very suddenly about 2 months ago. I loved her A LOT. More than I've ever loved anyone before, including previous girlfriends. And it's her birthday today.

For the entire year almost she'd been looking forward to spending her birthday together with me at her favourite theme park. That was gonna be the first time she ever did that. We were gonna stay there in the hotel overnight too and wake up together. She bought the tickets for it all the way back in August because she was so excited.

Now... I don't know what she's going to do. There are things that I fear... Things I think... Things that I hope for... But I don't know at all.

I'm still confused and so conflicted about our break-up too. We seemed to have an incredible happy and health relationship for almost a year. Then in less than a month she went from that to breaking up with me and seemingly not feeling a single thing anymore.

It was incredibly sudden and it was incredibly jarring. And while she told me her reasons supposedly, they don't seem like they were enough to explain the sudden switch. So I'm still confused about what actually happened. During the break-up she told me that being apart for a long time (she was busy a lot with a play she was in on top of her new job so we hadn't seen each other for almost a month) had given her "time to think." But why? How? And how did she go from seemingly desperately in love with me to seemingly not feeling anything AT ALL for me in less than a month?

I have so many theories in my mind. And I don't like any of them. All of them hurt. Just in different ways.

Anyway, the overall point is... I just don't think I can live without her. It's that simple. I don't think I want to. Part of me wants to end it today, but I probably won't. But I feel that I must end it soon.

I just don't want to live without her. I love her too much. It hurts too much to be separated from her. I just... I don't want to. And the regret and the pain and the heartbreak and the confusion and the feelings of betrayal and uncertainty and the questions are killing me. They hurt so much and I just don't think I can stand the pain much longer.

I really can't take it anymore. I can't be without her. I just can't.

I don't know what made me such trash in her eyes so suddenly. I don't know what killed her feelings for me so suddenly. I don't know how this happened or what happened even. I don't know what was real. I don't know what her was real anymore. I just don't know anything and I wonder about and question everything and it all hurts.

I've been through pretty painful break-ups before. So when I say that I've never felt this much pain in my life, that's saying something.

 

[Sleeper System]

The truth is she either re-evaluated her life and didn't see a future with you or she met someone else and decided to go with them instead. Women use emotional warfare. All the happiness it looked like you had could have been a front from the start. The sudden change is the main giveaway. Idk it just seems too sketchy.

A broken heart is one of the harder ones to deal with. It sucks you are going through that.
Time is the only remedy but the waiting is not easy. Hopefully, things get better for you.

 

[Worndown]

Breakups can be harsh. Things happen. Usually one person takes it hard and that person is you.
It is easy to say you will recover. Easy to say you will meet another.
Right now nothing is easy. Give yourself some time to process this.