I'd like to try to answer the points about ocd and panic attacks. (It is unlikely I'll be using N - reasons of which I'd not care to share, and if I did, it would be rude to hijack your post. I just thought I'd mention it as you can skip over this post if you are just looking for replies from those planning on using N).
Panic is everywhere; some people panic crossing a road, seeing an undercooked burger, being at war, catching the bus. I used to suffer from them when driving and have passed out on many a motorway half shoulder. Sounds stupid, but that was and still is fear to me but you can either face it, or ask questions on how to eliminate it, but it will still be there. You need to let go of the panic, and accept that you're making a choice - a brave one and have no equivocations about it. It really is tough. I'd love to share stories I have and really explain how you need to get in the right mindset, but I know you'll suss it out. It just bothers me that you are in a stressed state of mind and worrying. That's just me I guess, I'd rather take on other peoples problems rather than deal with mine - it's not a navel gazing exercise on my part, purely to try and get you in a mindset of calmness.