To the younger (18-25) people in this group

[Obliviate]

The thing is that life just gets worse and worse. There is never a time where you will ever have blissful happiness. There will ALWAYS be troubles and issues and hardships. It just gets worse when you're older because you have to take on more responsibilities and burdens.

I am quite young but I see people on here who are in their 40's 50's and older who had hope, thought life was gonna get better and then it literally went the opposite way. Went to shit. I have a post here where I asked people to share their experiences and man sooo many people responded. it just seems hopless. Why continue living this crappy life of work, abuse, paying bills and repeat for the next 50+ years?

 

[Gaga786]

I understand your views and the gist of what your trying to say or imply;however, one has to comprehend that sometimes things don't ameliorate. In my case, I used to be suicidal since a very young age and I had my first attempt when I was 14 - I'm 20 now. I known I will always suffer from depression and that trauma will encapsulate me, I will be forced to live for others whilst deteriorating in some old home while my peers and cousins will all have their children to take care of them. Why should I wait it out just for more suffering and pain when I should have been dead years ago. Life is just too difficult for me and I doubt it'll get improve magically as I grow older. I do wish you the best, and I pray that you find kindness and make the best of this world. Bless you

 

[Shadowlord900]

To the OP, If you're wondering why you're getting any backlash from your viewpoint, it's because I think the problem with viewpoints similar to yours is that it comes across as treating all people the same, when all people are definitely not the same. I'll give you an example as to why your viewpoint can be flawed.

A lot can happen between the ages of 18-25, but one can already get a fairly good idea on how their life is likely to play out by that point. If you have a healthy person who has enough educational prospects to go onto college, then your viewpoint makes sense. Ideally that person should at least try to ride out college because for all they know, they could get a good qualification that leads to them getting a good job leading to hopefully a comfortable life where they don't have to worry about the cost of living.

But then if you have a person who despite being healthy, doesn't have enough educational prospects to go onto college and get a good job, it should be understandable as to why they would feel distressed enough to want to end their own life. While money shouldn't be the end all, it sadly is. We need money to live, and it doesn't help that the cost of living in most countries is outgrowing the minimum wage.

And the examples above don't even take account into people who are not healthy that could be suffering from an illness or condition that severely impacts their quality of life. It's not fair to expect them to live out the rest of their life suffering, especially if it was a condition that they were either born with, or was inflicted upon them by another individual/element outside of their control.

 

[SamTam33]

The thing is that life just gets worse and worse. There is never a time where you will ever have blissful happiness. There will ALWAYS be troubles and issues and hardships. It just gets worse when you're older because you have to take on more responsibilities and burdens.

Absolutely this.

The only thing that can change is your point-of-view regarding said struggles and hardships. But they will always be there.

On the one hand, I begrudgingly admire people who take their lumps and say stuff like "Well that's just life."

On the other hand I'm like "YES. That's life. So why on earth would you want to entertain it?!"

All the effort and personal work you have to put in just to marginally improve your situation is staggering. Never mind if you want to drastically change your circumstances.

You're looking at years of struggling in the hopes that it might pay off somehow; that it might "get better."

The juice is not worth the squeeze, as they say.

 

[Darkover]

i should of left at 18 now 36 life doesnt get better with time just worse there nothing here worth coming alive for

 

[flyingtopluto]

Which differing views do other people have that bother you so much?

I'm not comfortable with explicitly stating what it is but I guess you can label it as the "popular opinion" in certain issues/topics that resonate with me. I get the logic or reasoning behind these viewpoints because it would be ignorant of me to not understand where they're coming from. However, it does hurt to be on the "wrong" side of these arguments. I often feel like I'm an error or virus in a computer. I tend to absorb other people's opinions rather than form my own because I do want to be respectful of their views no matter how damaging it might be for me to be exposed to it.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Keep in mind that while there are people who wish to live differently on the inside, they might also not have the desire to go through with the recovery.

This is SO true of any age group to be honest. Some of us DO have the potential to 'get better.' (At any age.) Not all of us have exhausted the options as to what's out there- therapy, medication, taking a leap of faith in some big life change. STILL- as you rightly say- the desire and will needs to be there to some extent. It's VERY difficult to change when deep down, you don't really want to. If a person is certain about their ideas and feelings, this idea of being forced to change surely is at odds with our right to choose. That's not to say it isn't worth reconsidering of course- but again- it's likely a case by case situation. At what age should we be allowed to choose?

I have to agree with a lot of people here- that it really depends on individual circumstances. I REALLY struggle with the age thing. I've been suicidal since I was 10- so, I do deeply sympathise with the younger folk on here. I also agree- to some extent- that at least more pathways are still more open to you when you are young and possibly more resources- it was much easier for me (and free) to go along and talk to the college therapist than it would be to try and seek one out now (I suspect.)

Still- again- it depends on what they're going through. I think most people do recommend an OP seeks out help and support if they seem to be unsure. Like others have said though- it really depends on how much information they choose to share.

I think this argument to some extent could likely extend. I'm sure someone in chronic pain would look at me and think- what the hell's the matter with them? I DO understand the frustration. Still- it surely comes down to: Should any of us feel the obligation to 'get better?' In which case- who are we obliged to? Our parents/family/friends? I'm sure we all consider them deeply when making the decision to CTB. Some people are hanging on for them (me included.) Yet- should we REALLY be expected to suffer a life we detest and do all we possibly can to get through it- JUST for them? If we owe this obligation to God- that depends on your ideas around God. If we owe the obligation to ourselves- Why? What if the person DOESN'T see some intrinsic value to their life. What if their 'potential' is utterly squashed by the need to conform? They could love music but not have the money to sustain a likely VERY difficult career choice. Yes- there are always options but there are options in any life at any age. I think it can easily get to the point where, (at any age) even the best case scenario STILL doesn't seem worth it!

Still- I do understand the viewpoint of the OP and I don't think they meant it to apply to every single young person on here- just the ones that seem unsure. I can also see why they posted it here rather than the recovery thread- I imagine a lot of people spend most of their time in this section. If you seek out a suicide forum- in most cases- I assume that's because you're in a VERY dark place. I don't imagine people come here initially with the mindset to recover- I could be wrong of course- but just my impression.

 

[lilin]

OP you don't sound preachy at all. It seems like you really just want to help and have good intentions. Obviously, everyone has a different situation, some people are sure about their decision, but some are not and maybe reading your words will give them some strength and hope. I appreciate that, thanks

 

[SamTam33]

This is SO true of any age group to be honest. Some of us DO have the potential to 'get better.'.. Still- it surely comes down to: Should any of us feel the obligation to 'get better?' In which case- who are we obliged to? Our parents/family/friends? I'm sure we all consider them deeply when making the decision to CTB. Some people are hanging on for them (me included.) ...If we owe the obligation to ourselves- Why? What if the person DOESN'T see some intrinsic value to their life...

You guys are dropping some gems in this thread. I've been reading through it like an old lady at church LOL.

Preach! Hallelujah Amen.

Of course everyone's POV regarding life (and suicide) will be different, but this is what it boils down to for me: the 'why' of it all.

I could never formulate a solid enough answer. Why this life? Why this journey? Why these struggles?

Why the obligation to get better.

Despite the popular notion that we choose our own paths and make our own luck, that's complete and utter rubbish.

Sure, we make choices that might impact our journey (sort of like choosing which rental car we're going to use on the trip).

But this trip wasn't our idea. We didn't get to choose which package we wanted. Not everyone gets to fly. And even if some do, not everyone gets to fly first class.

So why am I taking this trip again? I find myself here, but am I really obligated to stay? Says who? And most importantly, for what reason?

I want to go home.

(Me and my travel analogies SMH)

 

[DaatiSimi]

I've been suicidal since I was 6/7 years old, so I've been giving it a good thinking for almost 20 years now.

I kinda regret no doing ir sooner. It gets worse.

 

[wait.what]

I don't think we need to offer unsolicited reminders that death is permanent and hotline staffers are standing by. The internet is full of bots offering that exact information.

Young adults are still adults, and at some point we need to step back and let them make choices. Let's please not condescend to them or imagine they've forgotten their country's three-digit emergency code.

 

[redeyepiranha]

I understand and respect your point, but I think age doesn't matter. Some 40 y o may have potential to recover and live a happy life, while some 20 y o may suffer every day and have a bleak future. It's up to others to decide what to do next.

 

[lonewolf22]

I've been suicidal since I was a teenager and nothing has changed. I have been on this forum for 4 years. I'd rather not wait until I'm 30 to CTB.

As someone who's been suicidal for two decades, and also as someone for whom nothing has changed or gotten better, I would still advise you to wait it out until the age of 28. In the meantime, keep trying to do everything you can to find happiness or meaning.

 

[Givenuponlife]

Absolutely this.

The only thing that can change is your point-of-view regarding said struggles and hardships. But they will always be there.

On the one hand, I begrudgingly admire people who take their lumps and say stuff like "Well that's just life."

On the other hand I'm like "YES. That's life. So why on earth would you want to entertain it?!"

All the effort and personal work you have to put in just to marginally improve your situation is staggering. Never mind if you want to drastically change your circumstances.

You're looking at years of struggling in the hopes that it might pay off somehow; that it might "get better."

The juice is not worth the squeeze, as they say.

I have the view that most people, even if they're struggling, have interests (however small or simple), duties or strength of belief in something that keep them going that help them to find the strength to weather through the hard times. I suspect that most people here don't have enough of those things to keep them going, or have some condition which utterly negates their ability to fulfil their desires and obligations.

 

[myownpetvirus]

I appreciate this post. I feel there are definitely options I haven't exhausted in terms of medication and therapy. And the main driver of my thoughts are influences that won't be around 5 years down the line. I suppose I have no way of knowing what the next 5 years will bring but it's easy in a depressive state to think it will continue to be this bleak.

Yes I am here to talk to you if needed too

I have the view that most people, even if they're struggling, have interests (however small or simple), duties or strength of belief in something that keep them going that help them to find the strength to weather through the hard times. I suspect that most people here don't have enough of those things to keep them going, or have some condition which utterly negates their ability to fulfil their desires and obligations.

Very well said

 

[Himalayan]

Wrong section ree. Sometimes i am disgusted by what internet became

 

[B4mbi]

I just don't understand why there are so many older people on here who want to gatekeep suicide from others who are suffering just because they happen to be younger than them. Are we supposed to be forced to live and suffer with whatever conditions we may be in so that one day we might "earn" the right to die? Because you said so? What's the logic behind that, it's just petty. Stop being part of the problem. The same goes for people who gatekeep resources.

 

[myownpetvirus]

I just don't understand why there are so many older people on here who want to gatekeep suicide from others who are suffering just because they happen to be younger than them. Are we supposed to be forced to live and suffer with whatever conditions we may be in so that one day we might "earn" the right to die? Because you said so? What's the logic behind that, it's just petty. Stop being part of the problem. The same goes for people who gatekeep resources.

No I acknowledge that there are people that are young and deserve the right to die. However our community looks like shit when we are cheering on an 18 year old to drink poison after they had a breakup (something that you can likely recover from)

 

[ftbc]

seriously? how much pain do people have to experience before they ' qualify ' to kill themself?

posting this here is a bit tone deaf, as someone else mentioned. it seems like you have good intentions, but your post reads like something from a reddit bot or a pro recovery discord poster :(

No I acknowledge that there are people that are young and deserve the right to die. However our community looks like shit when we are cheering on an 18 year old to drink poison after they had a breakup (something that you can likely recover from)

nvm, wtf?

 

[spectraltease]

I know there is a lot of younger people in here, and I really hope you guys give it some serious time before you make a final decision to ctb. Not judging anyone that is confident in their decision or has some condition that will make it unlikely they will ever live a good life, but I'm reading a lot of posts and comments and it sounds like many of you have a chance to live a good life and still deep down have some hope. Your brain doesn't finish developing until 25 and I was suicidal in my late teens early 20s. I had drug problems and had never been in a relationship and thought I was broken. My life did get better (but then worse again due to brain injury from medications) and I things can change a lot from 25-30 m. I got to fall in love and travel the world in my late 20s and I realized how beautiful life is. Unfortunately 18 months ago I suffered a brain injury that has made life unbearable with a slew of symptoms. I myself am 100% confident that if this doesn't improve in a window of time that I am gone. But I am CERTAIN of that decision. It makes me sad to hear people that are super uncertain or have a temporary fleeting problem that they could recover from come on here and contemplating making the final decision. Also many of you have "bucket lists" and things you want to do which is also a sign that you have a desire to live. I'm honestly kind of confused why some people are considering it on here, but again it's not my life. Anyways I think you all might be surprised how much things can change and get better and I would implore you exhaust any options you have in possibly getting better. I just feel empathy for you all sorry if I sounded preachy

I understand you. It's always hard to explain something to someone who thinks the opposite. I know I'm young but I want to die so much and my brain doesn't allow any other thoughts or can't really be controlled. I still have hope. This month I have my first therapy and I'll give myself time until summer, if my life doesn't improve, I'll kill myself no matter what. I dont want to live a live in this state.

 

[myownpetvirus]

seriously? how much pain do people have to experience before they ' qualify ' to kill themself?

posting this here is a bit tone deaf, as someone else mentioned. it seems like you have good intentions, but your post reads like something from a reddit bot or a pro recovery discord poster :(

nvm, wtf?

If you think literally every suicide that ever happens is justified and trying to stop anyone from doing it is "gate keeping" you are the reason we will never have progress for right to die activism
Also the reason this site will get taken down

 

[aforestfire]

No I acknowledge that there are people that are young and deserve the right to die. However our community looks like shit when we are cheering on an 18 year old to drink poison after they had a breakup (something that you can likely recover from)

i never saw anyone "cheering on" users to commit suicide, regardless of the reasons. when i see someone wanting to ctb due to "trivial" reasons i see quite the opposite happening, only comfort comments and asking the said user to consider their options.
AND EVEN IF someone says that they want to die because of "trivial" reasons, you don't know what lead to that point, the breakup may have been the last nail on the coffin, you don't know, no one does. you really need to stop opine on other's life.

Kill yourself pussy

plus, are you a thirteen years old that came from twitter to be telling people on a forum about suicide to kill themselves? damn.

 

[myownpetvirus]

i never saw anyone "cheering on" users to commit suicide, regardless of the reasons. when i see someone wanting to ctb due to "trivial" reasons i see quite the opposite happening, only comfort comments and asking the said user to consider their options.
AND EVEN IF someone says that they want to die because of "trivial" reasons, you don't know what lead to that point, the breakup may have been the last nail on the coffin, you don't know, no one does. you really need to stop opine on other's life.

plus, are you a thirteen years old that came from twitter to be telling people on a forum about suicide to kill themselves? damn.

Well you got offended when I said not to kill yourself so I figured I would try the opposite but nothing seems to please you

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

No I acknowledge that there are people that are young and deserve the right to die. However our community looks like shit when we are cheering on an 18 year old to drink poison after they had a breakup (something that you can likely recover from)

I never saw anyone on this website cheering others to commit suicide. This is the lie that the New York times and fixthe26 said that people on this site encourage others to commit suicide which is a lie . They lied to try to get this site banned.

 

[aforestfire]

Well you got offended when I said not to kill yourself so I figured I would try the opposite but nothing seems to please you

no one got offended, you shouldn't be telling people what they're supposed to do or not, it's simple as that, but you clearly lack arguments and are incapable of listening to other's points of view.
honestly, this whole thing is pathetic from the start.

 

[MidnightDream]

A day before your 25th birthday? No, too young, you have so much to live for
Your 25th birthday? Ok, you're old enough now, bye

Yes, the brain doesn't fully mature until 25. But there's far too many variables in life to impose a blanket statement that suggests that everyone under 25 has the opportunity of recovery or for things to improve. I get where you're coming from, but these kind of blanket 'it gets better statements' are dismissive at best and dangerous at worst.

 

[myownpetvirus]

no one got offended, you shouldn't be telling people what they're supposed to do or not, it's simple as that, but you clearly lack arguments and are incapable of listening to other's points of view.
honestly, this whole thing is pathetic from the start.

It was a joke lighten up a bit would you?

 

[Mr_House]

I think this is a sound argument, I mean like others have said it's not preaching pro-life qualities but "What if?" Dreams of living a normal life in abnormal circumstances, I like the change in tune since it's hard to get people's approval with posts that are different to the norm of Sanctioned Suicide, but then again this is a suicide forum. Still I like

 

[myownpetvirus]

I think this is a sound argument, I mean like others have said it's not preaching pro-life qualities but "What if?" Dreams of living a normal life in abnormal circumstances, I like the change in tune since it's hard to get people's approval with posts that are different to the norm of Sanctioned Suicide, but then again this is a suicide forum. Still I like

I am not very good at conveying my thoughts through text but I was specifically saying this to people that were uncertain. I think you should be very confident in making this huge decision I don't see how this is offensive or pro life

 

[Mr_House]

I am not very good at conveying my thoughts through text but I was specifically saying this to people that were uncertain. I think you should be very confident in making this huge decision I don't see how this is offensive or pro life

No-no, I didn't mean it as you being pro-life, just that you had a different stripe to all the other Pro-choice posts