To the younger (18-25) people in this group

[myownpetvirus]

I know there is a lot of younger people in here, and I really hope you guys give it some serious time before you make a final decision to ctb. Not judging anyone that is confident in their decision or has some condition that will make it unlikely they will ever live a good life, but I'm reading a lot of posts and comments and it sounds like many of you have a chance to live a good life and still deep down have some hope. Your brain doesn't finish developing until 25 and I was suicidal in my late teens early 20s. I had drug problems and had never been in a relationship and thought I was broken. My life did get better (but then worse again due to brain injury from medications) and I things can change a lot from 25-30 m. I got to fall in love and travel the world in my late 20s and I realized how beautiful life is. Unfortunately 18 months ago I suffered a brain injury that has made life unbearable with a slew of symptoms. I myself am 100% confident that if this doesn't improve in a window of time that I am gone. But I am CERTAIN of that decision. It makes me sad to hear people that are super uncertain or have a temporary fleeting problem that they could recover from come on here and contemplating making the final decision. Also many of you have "bucket lists" and things you want to do which is also a sign that you have a desire to live. I'm honestly kind of confused why some people are considering it on here, but again it's not my life. Anyways I think you all might be surprised how much things can change and get better and I would implore you exhaust any options you have in possibly getting better. I just feel empathy for you all sorry if I sounded preachy

 

[Salvation_]

It's fine. It doesn't sound preachy at all. It just sucks to always feel uncertain about the future. My situation hasn't really changed much from three years ago. I lose hope that it's ever going to change.

 

[BlackWednesday]

It gets better....

Except when it doesn't.

Not very convincing is it?

 

[waterrrrrrrrrbottel]

It gets better....

Except when it doesn't.

Not very convincing is it?

He's trying to say that it COULD get better for younger people.

 

[Ireallysuck999]

What if it's only going worse over time?

 

[FuneralCry]

This type of embarrassing toxic positivity definitely belongs in the recovery section not on here. Save your preaching for that section of the site. I'm pretty sure that people come on here in the first place to escape the pro life type views that are everywhere else in this world. But seriously, lets be realistic. As time goes on we will just suffer more. I've been here for 22 years too long and posts like this judging people around my age who wish to die disgust me. You know nothing about anyone else's life so don't pretend that you do.

 

[BlackWednesday]

He's trying to say that it COULD get better for younger people.

I know what he's trying to say. But you can just as easily say that it COULD get worse. This is why such platitiudes are useless unless you know who you're talking to

 

[Sadgirldaisy]

I gave it a couple years and it hasn't gotten better. I don't know how much longer I can wait for it to get better.

 

[Lavender Dreams]

Not everyone will air their dirty laundry and write out all their reasons for others to see, it's not a spectacle. Keep in mind that while there are people who wish to live differently on the inside, they might also not have the desire to go through with the recovery. Forcing anyone to do it is unlikely to result in success, it has to be their choice. While I can see where your logic comes from, to many of us it will appear tonedeaf, at best.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I've connected with a couple younger people on this forum and nudged them towards recovery. They had spectacular potential who were suffering from a flawed perspective among other challenges. At 18-25, you may feel hopeless but you may have opportunities less available to older folks.

If you're feeling hopeless and want to chat feel free free to message me.

 

[DreamEnd]

Ehh idk. I have seen enough 25 years in. I want my peace ticket

 

[Szinuus]

Im 22 and suffer for chronic pain for a year. Its not a life.

 

[SamTam33]

Even if it does "get better"... So?

Better than what? If someone is homeless now, maybe they're eventually able to rent out a roach infested one room place over a take out restaurant...

Yeah it's "better" than being homeless, but it's not anything to aspire to.

I agree with the post that said you have to know who you're talking to before offering an assessment of their possible future.

Everyone is absolutely going to die and you can't take your experiences and memories with you (good or bad). So what does it matter if you ctb now or die later of natural causes?

I liken it to taking the expressway vs. taking the scenic route. If your destination is death, does the route really matter.

 

[Givenuponlife]

I'm 28, so slightly older, but this doesn't sound preachy at all. It's sound advice provided one has anything to look forward to. However, for me, I've come to the view that, with a consistent lack of enjoyment for and fulfillment in my life which is unlikely to really change, plus the constant mental health issues playing havoc with my life, I struggle not only to find a way out, but to even have the motivation to do so. I felt as I've I've just been regressing.

I gave it a couple years and it hasn't gotten better. I don't know how much longer I can wait for it to get better.

Similarly for myself as well. Espeically during the pandemic. I was struggling before, but I have become ever more disconnected with the world around me and have struggled to rectify that.

 

[AnonymousS]

This type of embarrassing toxic positivity definitely belongs in the recovery section not on here. Save your preaching for that section of the site. I'm pretty sure that people come on here in the first place to escape the pro life type views that are everywhere else in this world. But seriously, lets be realistic. As time goes on we will just suffer more. I've been here for 22 years too long and posts like this judging people around my age who wish to die disgust me. You know nothing about anyone else's life so don't pretend that you do.

He's not judging anyone, he's just saying some people might go on to recover. Which is true, many don't but he is not judging people. Your worldview is yours, you're entitled to it, it doesn't mean everyone else does.

 

[Samsal112]

what medication gave you brain injury and how do you describe your injury or symptoms?

 

[spinningship]

I appreciate this post. I feel there are definitely options I haven't exhausted in terms of medication and therapy. And the main driver of my thoughts are influences that won't be around 5 years down the line. I suppose I have no way of knowing what the next 5 years will bring but it's easy in a depressive state to think it will continue to be this bleak.

 

[Regen]

I know there is a lot of younger people in here, and I really hope you guys give it some serious time before you make a final decision to ctb. Not judging anyone that is confident in their decision or has some condition that will make it unlikely they will ever live a good life, but I'm reading a lot of posts and comments and it sounds like many of you have a chance to live a good life and still deep down have some hope. Your brain doesn't finish developing until 25 and I was suicidal in my late teens early 20s. I had drug problems and had never been in a relationship and thought I was broken. My life did get better (but then worse again due to brain injury from medications) and I things can change a lot from 25-30 m. I got to fall in love and travel the world in my late 20s and I realized how beautiful life is. Unfortunately 18 months ago I suffered a brain injury that has made life unbearable with a slew of symptoms. I myself am 100% confident that if this doesn't improve in a window of time that I am gone. But I am CERTAIN of that decision. It makes me sad to hear people that are super uncertain or have a temporary fleeting problem that they could recover from come on here and contemplating making the final decision. Also many of you have "bucket lists" and things you want to do which is also a sign that you have a desire to live. I'm honestly kind of confused why some people are considering it on here, but again it's not my life. Anyways I think you all might be surprised how much things can change and get better and I would implore you exhaust any options you have in possibly getting better. I just feel empathy for you all sorry if I sounded preachy

That's absolutly true. First everyone should try a life without parents home. Escaping the parents can change something. And also (good) therapy and medicine.

In real life I know many people who really struggled with life but when they were in the late twenties they get better. I would not believe this If I dont see it with my own eyes. Sadly myself did not better. I am angry about this, because the others struggled with deep problems and get better. Why not me?

So everyone should give life a good chance. Maybe you are the lucky one!

 

[aforestfire]

i get what you're saying, but this post totally belongs to the recovery section. not everyone gets better; nothing good came from any of the years that i've been alive, i'm regretful for even being born, this is not something that is going to change.
recovering is such a long journey, especially for those with trauma and incurable mental illness, and if someone doesn't want to take the risk of probably seeing everything falling apart (again) is understandable, you don't need to grow up to know that, sometimes, things get worse with no good in between. no one should endure suffering just because they're young.

 

[LastFlowers]

I know there is a lot of younger people in here, and I really hope you guys give it some serious time before you make a final decision to ctb. Not judging anyone that is confident in their decision or has some condition that will make it unlikely they will ever live a good life, but I'm reading a lot of posts and comments and it sounds like many of you have a chance to live a good life and still deep down have some hope. Your brain doesn't finish developing until 25 and I was suicidal in my late teens early 20s. I had drug problems and had never been in a relationship and thought I was broken. My life did get better (but then worse again due to brain injury from medications) and I things can change a lot from 25-30 m. I got to fall in love and travel the world in my late 20s and I realized how beautiful life is. Unfortunately 18 months ago I suffered a brain injury that has made life unbearable with a slew of symptoms. I myself am 100% confident that if this doesn't improve in a window of time that I am gone. But I am CERTAIN of that decision. It makes me sad to hear people that are super uncertain or have a temporary fleeting problem that they could recover from come on here and contemplating making the final decision. Also many of you have "bucket lists" and things you want to do which is also a sign that you have a desire to live. I'm honestly kind of confused why some people are considering it on here, but again it's not my life. Anyways I think you all might be surprised how much things can change and get better and I would implore you exhaust any options you have in possibly getting better. I just feel empathy for you all sorry if I sounded preachy

The section of time where you got a second chance and a moment to thrive are over for me. Gone. Marked only by isolation, misery, humiliation and unyielding despair & restrictions.
The prime of my youth..the years most people live on with their sweet memory of, are no more, never to be had.
I wish I had never lived to see the day that they passed me by.

Just because life became "beautiful" for you doesn't make life itself "beautiful".

A bucket list doesn't mean anything, no more than a paralyzed person wishing they could feel and move their limbs.
Just because we have or had dreams doesn't mean they're achievable.
Even the desire to achieve them and live is not a good enough reason to keep going and keep on suffering.


There are people who could argue with you that your brain injury could improve or alleviate and is in some ways no different from an underdeveloped brain.
Though I get what you're saying in some respect..some issues are very obviously not permanent (mine are very permanent and progressive)..but what if they last long enough to waste so much time as for that to become a trauma in and of itself.
Time machines don't exist.
Bitterness and regret do.
Even you, yourself, have a limit, a "window of time".

Can you give examples of people's reasons to commit suicide on here which confuse you?
Are they just things you never experienced or are they trivial to you?
Not saying I've never thought the same, but sometimes one's idea of "fleeting" or trivial is quite frankly, astounding to me or very hypocritical.

He's trying to say that it COULD get better for younger people.

Which younger people?

The goal posts are always shifting as far as which members are considered too young to make the decision.
Is age the only factor to be considered?
I don't think so.
I wish I had killed myself way back when.

He's not judging anyone, he's just saying some people might go on to recover. Which is true, many don't but he is not judging people. Your worldview is yours, you're entitled to it, it doesn't mean everyone else does.

Eh, by definition they are judging.

Worldview?

OP is saying things that everyone who comes here has likely heard or read a million times over, the sentiment is rampant on every other part of the internet and IRL.
I think they get the gist.

 

[theboy]

thanks

 

[Scythe]

I'm in the age group and yes it can get better. But it feels like I'm buying a lottery ticket with time and suffering and it's not worth it. That and if I get better, I don't know if I'll still be me. I don't think I can get better without changing the things that define me. So, If the core of my personality and identity changes to something unrecognizeable, is there really a difference with dying?

 

[myownpetvirus]

i get what you're saying, but this post totally belongs to the recovery section. not everyone gets better; nothing good came from any of the years that i've been alive, i'm regretful for even being born, this is not something that is going to change.
recovering is such a long journey, especially for those with trauma and incurable mental illness, and if someone doesn't want to take the risk of probably seeing everything falling apart (again) is understandable, you don't need to grow up to know that, sometimes, things get worse with no good in between. no one should endure suffering just because they're young.

I never said everyone gets better. I am talking specifically to the people who seem to show some doubt that it may not get better. I fully understand sometimes it doesn't

 

[LastFlowers]

I'm in the age group and yes it can get better. But it feels like I'm buying a lottery ticket with time and suffering and it's not worth it. That and if I get better, I don't know if I'll still be me. I don't think I can get better without changing the things that define me. So, If the core of my personality and identity changes to something unrecognizeable, is there really a difference with dying?

Well put, I'm older than the described age here but I refuse to compromise who I am in order to toe the line and remain with the living.
I've done enough of that already. I'd like to die with my core still intact, even if it never really got to see the light of day.

 

[myownpetvirus]

It gets better....

Except when it doesn't.

Not very convincing is it?

I fully acknowledge this

 

[AnonymousS]

The section of time where you got a second chance and a moment to thrive are over for me. Gone. Marked only by isolation, misery, humiliation and unyielding despair & restrictions.
The prime of my youth..the years most people live on with their sweet memory of, are no more, never to be had.
I wish I had never lived to see the day that they passed me by.

Just because life became "beautiful" for you doesn't make life itself "beautiful".

A bucket list doesn't mean anything, no more than a paralyzed person wishing they could feel and move their limbs.
Just because we have or had dreams doesn't mean they're achievable.
Even the desire to achieve them and live is not a good enough reason to keep going and keep on suffering.


There are people who could argue with you that your brain injury could improve or alleviate and is in some ways no different from an underdeveloped brain.
Though I get what you're saying in some respect..some issues are very obviously not permanent (mine are very permanent and progressive)..but what if they last long enough to waste so much time as for that to become a trauma in and of itself.
Time machines don't exist.
Bitterness and regret do.
Even you, yourself, have a limit, a "window of time".

Can you give examples of people's reasons to commit suicide on here which confuse you?
Are they just things you never experienced or are they trivial to you?
Not saying I've never thought the same, but sometimes one's idea of "fleeting" or trivial is quite frankly, astounding to me or very hypocritical.

Which younger people?

The goal posts are always shifting as far as which members are considered too young to make the decision.
Is age the only factor to be considered?
I don't think so.
I wish I had killed myself way back when.

Eh, by definition they are judging.

Worldview?

OP is saying things that everyone who comes here has likely heard or read a million times over, the sentiment is rampant on every other part of the internet and IRL.
I think they get the gist.

No he isn't judging, you just don't understand, or are refusing to.

 

[AlighieriTTT]

Look… the fact that we are coming to this site, have felt suicidal since before we were teenagers, or are making active steps to stop living should be enough for you to just accept what we want and not to make a fuss about it. Yeah, maybe somewhere I do have the ability to live a good life, but I simply do not want to, I just want to be dead. So all of your preaching just sounds really at-odds end with the purpose of this board.

 

[flyingtopluto]

I respect your views, but for me it's tough to keep living in a world that doesn't accept you or sees you as an "anomaly" compared to the norm. No matter how much I drown out the voices, it'll always be there. I know it's immature to wish that people wouldn't have differing views considering the vast amount of ideas and opinions out there. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive because I'm too young and inexperienced to ignore them or prove them wrong. Maybe I'm reading too far into things and misinforming myself. I'm just at a lost right now, with no motivation to make my life better despite my age. I have so many internal fights I have to battle that I'd rather retreat than stand my ground.

 

[CountOfTuscany]

I respect your views, but for me it's tough to keep living in a world that doesn't accept you or sees you as an "anomaly" compared to the norm. No matter how much I drown out the voices, it'll always be there. I know it's immature to wish that people wouldn't have differing views considering the vast amount of ideas and opinions out there. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive because I'm too young and inexperienced to ignore them or prove them wrong. Maybe I'm reading too far into things and misinforming myself. I'm just at a lost right now, with no motivation to make my life better despite my age. I have so many internal fights I have to battle that I'd rather retreat than stand my ground.

Which differing views do other people have that bother you so much?

 

[aforestfire]

I never said everyone gets better. I am talking specifically to the people who seem to show some doubt that it may not get better. I fully understand sometimes it doesn't

then i just don't see the why this thread was made. it's not like people with 18-25 years never heard about the possibility of things getting better; is the first thing we think of, and i bet the ones on the suicide section doesn't want to hear that again.