To me, making jokes about suicide is insensitive. The suffering in this world is very real.

[FuneralCry]

To me, it is insensitive whenever I see jokes about suicide. Wanting to die is serious and there is nothing funny about that. It is disrespectful to those who have passed away and to all those who seriously suffer and genuinely want to be gone. In the case of many suicides there is a great amount of pain that leads people to this point and the suffering that people experience is real. This is no joke. We suffer so much in life and we also have to suffer in finding ways to exit. It is so unfair how difficult suicide is, of course dying should be much easier. For me, the pain of living will only end when I die.

Life is incredibly cruel and unfair and in the case of many people, they do not want to die, but life basically forces them to do it. It must be so devastating for all those people. Existence is just so sad and empty in general, how could anyone ever laugh at anything, I doubt that such a thing as happiness even exists. Life tortures people in so many different ways, there seems to be no escape from problems and making a joke about that would in a way invalidate the severity of it all, how hard it really is. I just wish to sleep and be free from everything. I hate how I am still alive when instead I could be peacefully not existing.

 

[annique]

If these jokes come from pro-lifers, indeed I see them as insensitive, because these people think that life is a gift and that the sufferings one endures should never make them want to end their life.

Otherwise, if these jokes come from someone who is really suffering and wanting to off themselves, I see them as a means of taking easy on life a bit, as humor (or dark humor) can help easen the weights life puts upon our shoulders.​

 

[blue_muse]

Suicide is definitely subjective with how each person deals with it.

Your post is an example of why I don't reveal my suicidality in real life. MSM and society convey suicide and its accompanying emotions, as something temporary to move on from.

 

[Idontmatter]

Only a few people know about me being suicidal just for that reason. I used to have an ex many years ago who treated me so badly because of my mental health. I already feel disliked as it is.

 

[LifeHasNoOptIn]

I understand what you mean and it's definitely not a lighthearted subject. However, please consider that humor is a very common method for humans to deal with their darkest problems. It is in no way making light of your situation if someone finds humor as their best defense for the suicidal feelings they are battling. If someone makes a joke directed toward you or your situation that is definitely wrong and inappropriate, but if they chose to joke about their own situation, it's their choice to use it as a coping mechanism.

While it is probably too old to be relevant to you, there is an old sitcom called MASH which touches on this quite extensively. It is set at an army mobile surgical hospital during the Korean war and is a constant back and forth between heavy subject matter and humor to combat the morbid surroundings they are dealing with. When the question arises as to how they can find humor in such an awful situation, they point out that it is the only way to cope with the surroundings and not go crazy.

Just an alternate view to consider and not suggesting you are wrong.

 

[Underneath]

I must admit, as someone who is now looking for new ways to ctb, I find dark humour, including humour around suicide, quite funny.

I think the problem is that a lot of people seem to assume anything they find funny must be as funny to everyone else.
I also find it is generally the same type of people who use the "oh, get a sense of humour" response when a joke they use fails.
Humour is a very personal thing.

While it is probably too old to be relevant to you, there is an old sitcom called MASH which touches on this quite extensively. It is set at an army mobile surgical hospital during the Korean war and is a constant back and forth between heavy subject matter and humor to combat the morbid surroundings they are dealing with. When the question arises as to how they can find humor in such an awful situation, they point out that it is the only way to cope with the surroundings and not go crazy.

Thank you for reminding me of MASH. I need something to lessen this oppressive heat.

 

[AtMostOkay]

Dark humor can be very effective in lessening our pain momentarily. I am sure some of the jokes are indeed insensitive and hurtful. But for the most part, gallows humor hits me in the right spot, highlighting the absurdity in which we find ourselves, and if I can laugh at myself for a few seconds, I appreciate the relief.

 

[Rational man]

Perhaps some people can make funny because pain and suffering has not arrived in their life, like it has in our lives. Talking about suffering is one thing but feeling it is something on a different scale. These jokers need to watch their mouth because awfulness can arrive in anyone's life, anytime.

 

[noname223]

I disagree with it. I think one has to talk more nuanced about this topic.

I think you are right in some circumstances jokes about suicide are very immoral und disgusting. From what I have read you read a lot of those comments under gore videos which are despicable. But I have also read in in YouTube comments with similar content.

Making fun about someone elses suffering and torture is not funny. Those people should get punished. But this barely happnes. I think we have to raise our voice against such a behavior. I think one cannot stop every asshole to comment about suicide but the reaction of our society should be an honest conversation about the topic without all this stigmatization.

Now to the other side of it. During my darkest time when I was acute suicidal in clincics I was joking 24/7. It was really the worst time of my life. I had extreme psychosomatic pain and could not stop stop of making plans how I could commit suicide.

I think humor can take the edges of pain when you are suffering. But this is for every individual different. I have already made some threads where I elaborated on my opinion. But I try to sum it up. My life feels really cynical. After my last manic-crash I have realized I probably have to kill myself. I have analyzed that my condition is repeating. I don't think I can cope with more of these "crashes". I felt extremely horrible and kind of odd when I realized that this is my fate. I have thought about all the decisions I have made and the horrible things that happened to me. I realized the game is completely rigged against me. It was all the time rigged against me. Mania has deceived me for a long time in my life and I just did not recognized it. I felt like someone took the piss out of me. (kind of a weird saying...)

I think it is okay to make jokes about ones own fate. It can be therapeutical. It can be like a valve. Irony and sarcasm can unmask the horror of unbelievable pain. I think one could analyze that with more knowledge on human psychology than me. For me it was a little bit like an empowerment. Life took everything of me. I had extreme pain. But life could not stop me to make jokes about it. The irony which I used unmasked the logic behind my pain. I could reveal to other people with it how aburd everything felt. At least for me extreme suffering can feel sometimes absurd and surreal. Planning your own suicide can be pretty surreal. Being this desperate and you don't even know how you could have prevented it.

I think my life is very cynical and the dark/gallows humor is a way to deal with. Though I agree with you making fun about someone who wants to commit suicide or has done it is very immoral and disgusting.

 

[Angi]

I agree with what you say. Jokes about suicide can be very hurtful.

I think there is a difference between joking to make one's own situation lighter and jokes by people who are simply ignorant of the problem. I had a coworker tell me and a few colleagues not to kill ourselves until the following week because we were supposed to be present for a certain meeting. Ouch. He was an unbidden guest in my suicidal thoughts in the following time.

Would it help you if jokes on this website were flaired, so you can avoid them better?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I totally agree that making fun of people who have ctb or who are considering it is disgusting.

However, for the individual experiencing suicidal thoughts and even as a general topic, I think humour can be a way of approaching a very difficult subject.

The first person I told about my thoughts was a childhood friend- we were both around 10. We used to 'joke' about it as a solution to our (bad family) problems. We were both serious though- it was just a way of broaching a subject that can provoke extreme opinions and judgement. Saying it in a jokey way gives you the 'out' of saying- I didn't really mean it seriously if the person freaks out. As it happened, we both kind of understood that it had a large element of truth to it.

I don't think all people who joke about stuff do it to intentionally disrespect others. My Dad jokes about really serious stuff but I think it's how he copes with it. He's had a lot of traumatic stuff to deal with throughout his life. I think sometimes trying to make light of it is how people try and show their resilience against life. I can understand how this can be offensive though- especially if/when they are mocking things they have never/may never experience themselves.

Obviously- really untasteful mocking of people who are at their most vulnerable is intolerable. I think you just have to try and analyse what the motives are of the people who are making the jokes. They may still come across as offensive but there is the possibility that they too are feeling suicidal, trying to mask it through humour but perhaps their real intentions are seeping through.

 

[Underneath]

I think people need to be very careful with the way they use dark humour.

Also one thing I see evident here is how this type of humour is read into. While I 100% agree people should not be made fun of based on their struggles. Just because someone is using dark humour does not mean they are actively attacking others.

Just my thoughts on the matter.

 

[FuneralCry]

Would it help you if jokes on this website were flaired, so you can avoid them better?

Yes, that would be a good idea. To me this is a serious website to discuss methods and suicide. There are not many places where a joke would be appropriate. I would personally see it as best for the forum to be always serious as people here are suffering and I have seen on here before people being upset and offended by others joking in their serious thread, and things can be misunderstood but that is just my opinion. I wish that euthanasia is legalised so that there would be no need for a forum in the first place.

 

[adventurer]

i feel like if someone who is like always saying stuff like "don't kill yourself!" or "it gets better!" or is just one of those pro life people makes a suicide joke, it's like what the fuck, that's very insensitive. but if we were to make one it would be a little more alright, because we're living the pain that's being joked about and we understand it very well and for some people that's just their way of coping.

 

[chloramine]

If these jokes come from pro-lifers, indeed I see them as insensitive, because these people think that life is a gift and that the sufferings one endures should never make them want to end their life.

Otherwise, if these jokes come from someone who is really suffering and wanting to off themselves, I see them as a means of taking easy on life a bit, as humor (or dark humor) can help easen the weights life puts upon our shoulders.​

I very much agree with this. If the oppressed are joking about the oppression it's very different from the oppressors or bystanders joking about the oppressed. In this case there isn't really a clear oppressor because there isn't one reason to consider suicide and some people will always be uncomfortable with or find jokes about it offensive regardless (which is okay- nothing wrong with having different tastes in humour). The general idea of those who experience any particular kind of suffering joking about it being fundamentally different is an important distinction to make.

Would it help you if jokes on this website were flaired, so you can avoid them better?

I think that's an excellent idea. Obviously if someone is reaching out and finds jokes offensive it would be nice to have something to indicate that so that no one is unintentionally hurtful.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

It helps some of us cope.

 

[Euthanza]

i feel like if someone who is like always saying stuff like "don't kill yourself!" or "it gets better!" or is just one of those pro life people makes a suicide joke, it's like what the fuck, that's very insensitive. but if we were to make one it would be a little more alright, because we're living the pain that's being joked about and we understand it very well and for some people that's just their way of coping.

You mean Suicide Prevention Bingo

 

[symphony]

I have complicated feelings about this one. When I hear a healthy, happy, life-loving person make a suicide joke, it kind of gives me whiplash. For me, suicide is a painful daily reality, while for them it will never be more than a punchline. On the other hand, making suicide jokes for me is a way of using dark humor to cope. And similarly I enjoy when other suicidal people in my life or on SS share dank suicide memes or whatever. But I only share those things with a select number of people who know me well or are suicidal themselves. I wouldn't just throw it into casual conversation with my next door neighbor or whatever.

Said in memes somewhat less sincerely:

 

[adventurer]

You mean Suicide Prevention Bingo

that is absolutely what i mean

 

[LastFlowers]

I understand what you mean and it's definitely not a lighthearted subject. However, please consider that humor is a very common method for humans to deal with their darkest problems. It is in no way making light of your situation if someone finds humor as their best defense for the suicidal feelings they are battling. If someone makes a joke directed toward you or your situation that is definitely wrong and inappropriate, but if they chose to joke about their own situation, it's their choice to use it as a coping mechanism.

While it is probably too old to be relevant to you, there is an old sitcom called MASH which touches on this quite extensively. It is set at an army mobile surgical hospital during the Korean war and is a constant back and forth between heavy subject matter and humor to combat the morbid surroundings they are dealing with. When the question arises as to how they can find humor in such an awful situation, they point out that it is the only way to cope with the surroundings and not go crazy.

Just an alternate view to consider and not suggesting you are wrong.

I agree with your distinction between the two scenarios for the most part, however there are many who use the latter excuse in bad faith.

For example, it is unfortunately very common for medical staff to "roast" and joke about their patients/insult them, even during surgery while the patient cannot speak up for themselves and is in one of the most vulnerable positions imaginable-having had no choice but to turn to medical doctors in the first place, their health issues or detriments forcing them to enter a covertly (and sometimes overtly) hostile environment.
Often times, when prompted to give an explanation as to why they think this behavior is justified-the medical staff make the exact same claim that you outlined straight out of MASH.
They fail to realize that making jokes about their own involvement in a high-stress environment is NOT meant to include poking fun at the patients who had no say in the necessity of crossing paths with these so-called "professionals".

During my darkest time when I was acute suicidal in clincics I was joking 24/7.

It's strange isn't it?
I've had similar experiences where a certain reliance on "joking" becomes a coping mechanism and a mad laughter grabs hold of me at times where you would think it had absolutely no business at all making an appearance.
(But it's been awhile.)

The other thing to think about is..a lot of jokes about suffering aren't really jokes at all..they're just disguised as such.

Irony and sarcasm can unmask the horror of unbelievable pain.

Definitely.

A joke, especially of the self-deprecating variety, can be like a small window to an entire personal universe of pain and suffering.

I think it's our way of leaking the unmentionable out into the light, what we are often barred from speaking of straight and candidly can find acceptable visibility through the face of humor.

It's not so much that we are laughing at our own pain/experience or genuinely think it's funny (hell fucking no), it's really the absurdity (just as you said) of such horror being bestowed on us that we're reacting to and trying to find relief from through dark laughter.
It's very, very different from making a clear-cut attempt at being comedic.

That said, plenty of people go too far with it and some play cruel games where they're merely pretending to use humor as respite, when really it's just a farce and they actually just want to make fun of someone/something and/or attract underserved attention at someone else's expense.

Yes, that would be a good idea. To me this is a serious website to discuss methods and suicide. There are not many places where a joke would be appropriate. I would personally see it as best for the forum to be always serious as people here are suffering and I have seen on here before people being upset and offended by others joking in their serious thread, and things can be misunderstood but that is just my opinion. I wish that euthanasia is legalised so that there would be no need for a forum in the first place.

I've had my core reasons for being here (and all of the horrid experiences stemming from them) invalidated through crude and callous buffoonery, countless times..and that includes on this very site.
Needless to say, having that happen only adds to the pain and alienation exponentially.

So to your point, I do think there is more action that needs to be taken when people treat a suicide forum less like its namesake and more like 4chan.

 

[IBGONE]

To me, it is insensitive whenever I see jokes about suicide. Wanting to die is serious and there is nothing funny about that. It is disrespectful to those who have passed away and to all those who seriously suffer and genuinely want to be gone. In the case of many suicides there is a great amount of pain that leads people to this point and the suffering that people experience is real. This is no joke. We suffer so much in life and we also have to suffer in finding ways to exit. It is so unfair how difficult suicide is, of course dying should be much easier. For me, the pain of living will only end when I die.

Life is incredibly cruel and unfair and in the case of many people, they do not want to die, but life basically forces them to do it. It must be so devastating for all those people. Existence is just so sad and empty in general, how could anyone ever laugh at anything, I doubt that such a thing as happiness even exists. Life tortures people in so many different ways, there seems to be no escape from problems and making a joke about that would in a way invalidate the severity of it all, how hard it really is. I just wish to sleep and be free from everything. I hate how I am still alive when instead I could be peacefully not existing.

You have expressed yourself very eloquently.You have also made very valid points.I couldn't agree more that joking about suicide is disrespectful.I feel that those who joke about it have a very little concept as to what it feels like to live in a daily painful world.I wish i knew what it was like to smile again,laugh again without both being fake.I have a difficult time when i'm told 'Smile everything will be ok" or "Life is what you make it".In my world both couldn't be further from the truth.I didn't ask to live with depression,anxiety.I didn't ask to go to sleep scared and hope i do not wake up. Anyway,sorry if i appeared to be venting that wasn't my intention.I just wanted to express how thoughtful and well written your post was.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I doubt that such a thing as happiness even exists.

It does for some people. Just because it doesn't for you or I, doesn't make it not exist.

And as for me, where I am in life, and how surreal it all is, if I didn't laugh at my entire situation, I would go mad. Just because I can laugh at my situation doesn't change one thing about how miserable I am, how much my life sucks, how lonely my life is, how I'm going to have to end it as soon as practicably possible. I plan on laughing my way right out of here.

Are these really that inappropriate?

Suicide is not a joke, get help.........
You can pay someone to shoot you

When is the best time to commit suicide?
Ate a glock in the morning.

Suicide?
That's the last thing I'd ever do.

Unfortunately my father committed suicide a few years ago now.....
He sadly hung himself.. but there is an upside - He went out swinging!

How do you know a blonde has been trying to commit suicide?
There are bullet holes in the mirror.

Suicide jokes don't fly with most people.....
They hang

 

[Underneath]

It does for some people. Just because it doesn't for you or I, doesn't make it not exist.

And as for me, where I am in life, and how surreal it all is, if I didn't laugh at my entire situation, I would go mad. Just because I can laugh at my situation doesn't change one thing about how miserable I am, how much my life sucks, how lonely my life is, how I'm going to have to end it as soon as practicably possible. I plan on laughing my way right out of here.

Are these really that inappropriate?

Suicide is not a joke, get help.........
You can pay someone to shoot you

When is the best time to commit suicide?
Ate a glock in the morning.

Suicide?
That's the last thing I'd ever do.

Unfortunately my father committed suicide a few years ago now.....
He sadly hung himself.. but there is an upside - He went out swinging!

How do you know a blonde has been trying to commit suicide?
There are bullet holes in the mirror.

Suicide jokes don't fly with most people.....
They hang

Gotta be honest, these made me chuckle.

In all seriousness though, dark humour for many is the only coping mechanism they have left. Dark humour is a very 'personal' type of humour. When I worked as a general assistant in a local A&E at least 90% of the nursing staff relied on it to get through their shifts. Unlike many who use dark humour, they knew when it was inappropriate though.

Dark humour should not be shunned in my opinion, I just think the people who use/rely on it need to know when not to use it.

Edit: Can't spell.

 

[FuneralCry]

I forgot to write in my original post is that to me making jokes about suicide is disrespectful to those who have lost someone by suicide, it is in bad taste. As much as I see non existence as always being preferable to living and that suicide is a human right, I still feel sorry for those people. I just think that in my opinion, humour does not belong in this world. Life is pointless and cruel and suffering is inescapable.

Any positive emotion such as laughter is just people's way of deluding themselves that life is not as bad as it is, they do not want to face reality as things could get so much worse for anyone, and anyone could end up in the worst pain possible.

I think that if everyone accepted the harsh reality of existence, then society would legalise the right to die and then we could leave peacefully. The delusion that there is some positive to living is why people cannot accept suicide as a rational option and they see those that do it as always being 'mentally unwell'. I think that for me it would feel wrong to laugh at anything at all. Life is only pain and misery and that is all that it ever will be.

 

[Fthis]

To me, it is insensitive whenever I see jokes about suicide. Wanting to die is serious and there is nothing funny about that. It is disrespectful to those who have passed away and to all those who seriously suffer and genuinely want to be gone. In the case of many suicides there is a great amount of pain that leads people to this point and the suffering that people experience is real. This is no joke. We suffer so much in life and we also have to suffer in finding ways to exit. It is so unfair how difficult suicide is, of course dying should be much easier. For me, the pain of living will only end when I die.

Life is incredibly cruel and unfair and in the case of many people, they do not want to die, but life basically forces them to do it. It must be so devastating for all those people. Existence is just so sad and empty in general, how could anyone ever laugh at anything, I doubt that such a thing as happiness even exists. Life tortures people in so many different ways, there seems to be no escape from problems and making a joke about that would in a way invalidate the severity of it all, how hard it really is. I just wish to sleep and be free from everything. I hate how I am still alive when instead I could be peacefully not existing.

Humor is a coping mechanism for me. If someone jokes about their own suicide and problems and stuff that's okay. You can make jokes about your own trama and problems. But if you try and make a joke about someone else's trama or people who have killed themselves that aren't you that's messed up.

 

[Un-]

I use humour as a coping mechanism. I mean, you are a dickhead if you just insult someone, but if you're trying to lighten up the mood, I don't think it's a bad thing. Y'know, often times people joke about how they feel. I know I do. I have a chuckle when I say out-loud that I want to hang myself, and I sometimes see other people laugh along, or agree with me. If anything, it shows.. That everyone understands that life is shit.

Maybe not the way you and I see it, but potato poh-tah-toh.

Something I learned from this forum that was a ridiculously hard pill to swallow, was that I'm alone in my ideas. What that means.. Really, is that as much as I hate people and hate Earth and believe that love doesn't exist and happiness and whadawada, other people feel differently. There've been many times that I wanted to yell at people here.. tell them that they're fucking lucky that they have a support system or friends, or that they're deluding themselves by doing x and y, but.. It's just my ideas.

No one truly knows about existence except for their own.

Spoiler: My fucked up sense of comedy

On a lighter note, "Just end it. Do it already. Oh yeah!"

 

[odradek]

I think it all depends on the context and intention. There are times where humour is appropriate here and there are times where it's definitely inappropriate. There are some here who cannot navigate that well. It's the internet I suppose.

 

[Symbiote]

I literally stopped taking everything in life seriously. Life, death, sickness, suicide, woke causes, every single thing people complain about, it's all a game, it's all a joke. You can disconnect at any time and the game goes on without you.