To be or not to be found

[Endqualia]

Hello, my fellow sufferers. I wasn't here for awhile, never stopped thinking about suicide, and now i think im very close to CTB.
I want your opinion on what is better for the family to have them find the body or not?Since i can do it in such a way that they wont find me ever, im pretty sure. I decided on not leaving a note already since that can be misinterpreted and so on. Is it more cruel to have my mother burry my hanged body or to leave them questioning where have i gone? Idk.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

More cruel to leave them questioning.

 

[socrates]

I think it's far more cruel to leave them questioning. It will be very painful for them to bury the body, but at least they will have some closure. There is no truly painless CTB method.

 

[Rn110bg101]

Agreed, I think it's way more cruel to disappear than it is to have your family find your body. If they know you're dead, they can deal with the grief, while if you disappear they might think you'll come back eventually.

But of course, that depends with your relationship with them.

 

[Zhontafly]

I second that.

When one dies there is closure that comes with knowing that person is dead and gone. When you dont let them know then its all up in the air, for all they know you landed in the hands of a psycho, a government concentration camp ala Gitmo or you left them cause you hated them etc. These things will play out in their minds over and over. Its like a form of torture for people not to know these things.

Anyway I plan on letting my family know when its my time. And explain everything again to them if I must.

Peace

 

[Endqualia]

I think your all right. Its i think the only thing holding me back right now. Just so hard to leave them with that shit to deal with. But its true there is no painless ctb.

 

[Lady black]

It´s better if they now that you are gone for sure. Questioning the whole life is more cruel than knowing the truth

 

[radrobin]

I've decided to let somebody else find my body, a stranger. This will give my family the closure they need without traumatizing them. Hopefully the person finding me won't be too traumatized...

 

[Rn110bg101]

I've decided to let somebody else find my body, a stranger. This will give my family the closure they need without traumatizing them. Hopefully the person finding me won't be too traumatized...

Won't the police request your family to identify your body, though…?

Edit: Wait, maybe not if you have your ID. Sorry.

 

[radrobin]

Maybe, but that way they would know what they are getting into at least. I just don't want them to have to associate my apartment with finding my body because they'll have to deal with it (cleaning out my stuff, selling the apartment, etc.) after my death :/

 

[TAW122]

I don't really mind to be found or not, just that I am not found or stopped before I'm actually dead (the point of no return). I care more for succeeding and being at peace rather than risk failing and being saved, only to have a worse life (physically and mentally) afterwards. I suppose, if my body is still a fresh corpse after I CTB, then so be it, but if I'm already rotten and become a skeleton or what not, I don't mind either (meaning I've been dead for a long time).

 

[BPD Barbie]

More cruel to leave them questioning.

I'd agree with this. Personally I want to be found to offer closure to people and to extinguish any false hope that one day I might turn up at someones door.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

each scenario is cruel in its own way. your mother seeing your body will make her question where she went wrong or make her blame herself. her not knowing what happeend to you will leave a hole in her heart.

it's sad that in order to end your pain, you have to cause someone else pain. i hate that that's the only option, but it is.

 

[Jumper Geo]

It's a tough call if you have a loving supportive family you don't want to prolong there suffering you will be gone and at peace, just look at all them famous missing person cases and the strain on the families faces not knowing what happened to them always thinking the worse and preying they will be found safe and well.

There again if you have a horrible family disappear without trace, lol

Cheers

Go

 

[ManWithNoName]

But of course, that depends with your relationship with them.

I've come to the conclusion that, though well meaning, the remaining members of my biological family are a bunch of antagonistic idiots.

There was only one family member whom I became relatively close to just a few years ago, younger sibling. But she has changed over the years and could care less about me now. This is why I do not have any issue with "disappearing". In the USA, and most countries, if one disappears and is never heard from after seven years, then one is legally declared dead "in absentia".

For me, the question as to whether or not to disappear has more to do with my good friends and colleagues, and whether or not it is cruel to do so to them—perhaps it is ok because they are not family.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

Definitely better to be found, but not by them, and definitely not in their house or whatever. Have a stranger or police officer find your body, and then leave the rest to your family. Even if you died of natural causes or a freak accident, your family would have to identify and bury your body anyways. And accidental deaths tend to be much uglier than suicides.

Also if you love your mom, you probably wouldn't want her to die thinking that maybe you ran away and disappeared out of spite for her or something. The parents of missing people tend to desire closure and have lots of hope and speculations. It's best to give them closure so that they can mourn properly.

 

[Done at Fifty]

Perhaps you can hang yourself in a place where someone other than your family find you but will inform your family. That spares them the trauma of finding your body and gives them closer that they know what happened to you.

I read of two people in NY who took their life in a hotel room. They put the shower curtain around the foyer area with a note to housekeeping saying that there was a dead body beyond the curtain and to call the police. They also left her some money. This way the housekeeper could spare herself the trauma of seeing them dead. The police took it from there and contacted the family.