tired of waiting

[comeoutandhauntme]

saw a tiktok abt how my whole life is spent waiting and yeah. feels like i'm always just waiting for "something" or for the next event to keep track of or wtv and now it's just waiting until a proper time to ctb. (have to wait until i'm sure i won't get caught/stopped).

i'm tired of waiting bro. i don't wanna wait to ctb i wish i could just do it rn. i wish i wasn't so scared of my parents guns and just did it when i was home alone. i wish a car would hit me and kill me so i didn't have to wait to do it myself. i wish i didn't have to constantly have something planned to look forward to in order to not die.

idk man i'm just so tired. felt this way for what feels like most of my life now. just want it to be done and over with so i can rest and finally be at peace